An IF/Then Logic Question

[nitascool]

I had a conversation with my MIL on Friday. She was expressing her feelings about our oldest ds7.5. I was offended. Maybe I should have handled it a little better. But Hindsight is 20/20.

Anyway, she baited me into a conversation with her about homeschooling our ds. There was a lot to it, but what I want to ask about is her concluding statement about our "irresponsible" behavior (homeschooling). Her conclusion was that she would not be able to "decide" if homeschooling our children was the right decision until they are adults with good jobs and healthy adult relationships. (Which translates to me... I'm going to give you crud about it for another 10 years).

So here is my question... How is this a logical arguement...IF this is the Criteria to successful education.... THEN did the ps do her, her children, and most of the people she knows justice?

She has a very low paying job and wishes she didn't have to work so hard for the things they have. She has no friends by her own admittance.

Her public schooled dd has serious financial problems due to inappropriately spending the money she does earn, is a "casual drinker" gets drunk every weekend, and has friends who tend to use her.

Her oldest son divorced his wife, lives at home at 35, has just a few friends who are coworker drinking buddies, and has serious depression issues.

Her youngest son (my dh) is an underachiever who is capable of being a doctor, but can't seem to follow through. Works a low paying job and would have no friends if his wife (me) didn't kick him in the tail to make friends.

EVERY problem my children have is blamed on us homeschooling them. My middle boy wouldn't have ADHD and SPD if he was in public school. My oldest wouldn't be gifted if he was in public school. (oh yes, being gifted is a problem in her eyes).

Am I missing something? Is her argument logical and I'm just missing the logic because of my strong desire to educate my own children? Or is her argument illogical?

Oh, can you tell we haven't gotten to the Logic Stage...LOL?

[Charon]

...your reply to her should be, "And, I will not be able to decide if your parents' decision to public school their children was the right choice until their children are adults with good jobs and healthy adult relationships, either."

[mcconnellboys]

Ummmm, and you're actually engaging her in this delusional conversation? Couldn't you just pass the bean dip?

Seriously, you know the answer to this question. She's nuts and only marginally functional in society, as are the majority of her children, apparently. Do you really want the same for your children? If not, I suggest you keep homeschooling.....

Regena

[K&Rs Mom]

It's okay with me if MIL doesn't decide anything, now or in 10 yrs.... :)

Seriously, you know she's wrong (and illogical, but that won't matter to her), you know you're not going to convince her otherwise, try not to stress over it. How does dh feel? Here, his mother is his problem - I'm polite when they visit, but any expected conflict is all his. Of course, they live half a country away, so it's easy to do it that way.

In the meantime, would it entertain you to constantly give her examples of the failure of our public school system? Read anything by John Taylor Gatto (my dh's current fave), or any newspaper, really.

Hang in there - you're doing the right thing!

[JeanM]

Her argument is illogical, in my opinion. I struggle with the disapproving relatives all the time, although it is mostly my relatives, not my inlaws, that are the problem. I have not found any real way of convincing them, but I find that *I* need affirmation after spending too much time with the relatives. These boards help, as do good homeschooling books.

My mom is actually one of my biggest critics. Just this past Christmas, she was telling me how my brother's son (age 7) is having issues in school with bullies and other problems. She actually said the words "maybe homeschooling isn't so bad", then she clapped her hand over her mouth and said she took it back. I can see that she may come around eventually though.

Stay strong, it isn't easy!
Jean

[WTMCassandra]

It's illogical . . . but that won't help. She's not in the realm of logic, so pointing to the logic or lack thereof won't do any good. At all. Really.

Pass the bean dip. Smile. When she says she can't decide if your decisions are right until 10 more years have passed, say sweetly, "You're right--time will tell." Then suddenly have to go to the bathroom, and when you get back, get her talking about her own life.

I've dealt with these types before--don't confuse them with facts or logic. It's like wrestling with a pig--you get dirty and the pig has a great time. Just stay out of the mud.