So, dh and I talked and he told me to get the adoption ball rolling - m

[StaceyinLA]

After all the looking into and researching I've done over the years, now that he has said this I have NO idea where to begin. I'm not even 100% sure where I want to adopt from. I don't think there is any way we can qualify for China, though I will contact CCAI tomorrow and ask some questions. It disappoints me, but I just don't think we can make our income work out on paper, even though we have enough.

I am very interested in Korea, but concerned because it looks a bit pricier than China, and it moves a bit faster so it gives us less time to get it together. He is adamant that we can make NO debt to do this, and frankly so am I as we have 4 teens and don't need to make debt after all of our work to get mostly debt-free.

Any other places I should look into? I've looked at waiting children. There just aren't many that are young unless they are in groups (which I have considered but I don't know that dh will consider it - he just reached this point so I don't want to push it). What about within the US? We would likely take a bi-racial and certainly Asian or Hispanic children as well. Any places I could seek this out that we might not wait YEARS??

I need money raising ideas too! What have you done to get funds? Someone last night recommended making a website and having friends/family donate and also send friends and family of theirs to the site in hopes that they would donate as well. I know there are places that will match donations too, and places to get grants. Any ideas?? I'm not sure how I feel about donations, but I know there are family members of mine (siblings) that would probably love to help us in this way. I just want to do it in a manner that is not offensive. I might not have considered this except the person that mentioned it to me had known others who had done this, and she really encouraged it. Is it too tacky?

I am going to start working in March. It'll just be 5-6 hours/week and I'll make about $300-350/month. Then I'll work full time for a couple of months in the summer finishing up a project I started last summer, and I'll make about $4000-$5000 so that'll be a big help! In addition, I will designate ALL of my Cookie Lee jewelry selling funds to this AND take a cut in my grocery budget and my blow money allotment each month which should add another couple hundred/month to it.

I just know that we need time to get it all together.

I'm open for ideas/suggestions about anything!

[Lisa at Home]

Of course, I have no real experience with this except that I had been looking into this recently, but I think we've decided to put that on hold for a while.

Some of the kids who need adopting here in the states come with state support. The big dowside to this is having the state in your "business," and all the red tape.

It's just a thought, since you said you were open to all suggestions.

There are national organisations here in the states that one works with to accomplish this. Numerous ladies on this board have a weath of information about it.

Best wishes on your journey,

[NYSue]

We had to fill out several pages of questions, have a home study completed (they just came to the house and looked around), attend 8 weekly classes that all potential adoptive parents and potential foster parents have to attend, and then we waited about one year before we got "the call". Our ds was 7 months old when he came to live with us. He is bi-racial (black/white) and he is now almost 15 years old!! We went through the 6 months waiting period and then went before the judge and it was final. Very easy - maybe we were lucky because we didn't have to wait. It didn't cost us anything - the only thing we had to pay for was the court costs and the company dh worked for at the time had a program that covered that. I think you should check into your local Social Services. There are so many children right in our own backyards that need good homes. Best of luck!

[MotherMayI]

My dh and I are almost licensed in our state so that we may foster/adopt a little girl. We started the process over a year ago, but things have been slowed down a bit by the agency that we are going through. After we are licensed we could have a child placed at any time. The wait here is usually not too long. As far as cost go- they are minimal when you go this route. It is my understanding that most of the "costs" are either reimbursed or they will come back with the tax credit. Another advantage is that the child will be eligible for whatever services that she qualifies for- to be covered until she reaches 18. (medical, therapy, etc.)

We are not in this to be a foster home. There are some risks involved, but we will be as informed as we can and we will trust that God knows the best place for the child.

That being said I have a friend waiting for her travel date to pick up her "special needs" child in China (she has a small birthmark on her forehead). I have heard that China is now predicting a 3 year delay. I also have friends adopting in the Philippines. The process will take about 2 years total. Other friends are looking into India. That process appears to take under a year.

Congratulations on your decision to adopt. There are a lot of options out there, but your heart will tell you which one is right for you and your family!

Best wishes,

[Claire]

Congratulations on taking the first steps!!!

Have you looked in the phone book to find adoption agencies in your area? They typically have informational seminars you can sign up for. While you are on the phone (call each one!), ask which countries they deal with. Most agencies have contacts in specific countries. You will eventually want to decide on one agency to handle your paperwork and home study. Each country has its own requirements, and waiting times vary from one country to another and from one year to the next. Ukraine is one you might want to look into. Our closest agency places most of its children from China, India, Russia and the Phillippines. (Be aware that infants from East European countries are often alcohol-exposed.)

The agency you work with will also be able to provide you with information about U.S. babies. Inter-state adoptions (child from another state) can cost considerably more than an in-state adoption. Foreign adoptions are the most expensive, but you usually have more choices.

I don't think it's tacky at all to have a blog or website that provides a way for people to make donations.

There are adoption email lists that can be very helpful. When I have some time I will see if I can hunt up a couple for you.

The process is not a fast one, so I wouldn't be looking too much at specific countries yet. You will need to coordinate money with the process. A country that is easy one year can be hard the next year if their adoption laws change.

Best of luck!

[StacyWithFourRugrats]

We have 2 daughters from Korea and I can not say enough good things about the Korean program. The children are placed in foster care as opposed to orphanages, which can be a plus. You often know more information about the children's background, which again is a plus. The cost is generally lower than other nations. We had planned to adopt from China but were actually not old enough at the time. Which obviously was perfect as our girls were born in Korea, not China ;)

Something to note in regards to expenses is that when you adopt, there is a $10,000+ (somewhere around $10,600 or so now) tax CREDIT you receive after the adoption is finalized. This of course will not help to pay the fees up front, but it does help pay the cost off.

In regards to special needs children, there are many that are young from Korea (and some other nations). Both of our girls are special needs though you would really never know it unless you saw our youngest's "zipper". Children's special needs can range from pretty much non-existent to more severe. Each family is comfortable with different degrees of special needs and only you know your comfort zone.

Check out www.rainbowkids.com for a photo listing of special needs children. We found our 2nd daughter partially through this list (we knew of her before we saw her on the page though...went to the site to "see" her)

As for agencies, with Korea your location will matter. I am not sure of an agency that places non-special needs in LA but it does change at times (they basically have to have a physical office in that state). The special needs program is different and doesn't necessarily require a physical office in that state. There are three larger agencies:

http://www.chsfs.org (http://www.chsfs.org/)

http://www.holtintl.org (http://www.holtintl.org/)

http://www.dillonadopt.org (http://www.dillonadopt.org/)

I *highly* recommend CHSFS, the first link. The waiting children program coordinator is excellent. Holt International is the agency we used with our first adoption. They are nice, but a bit of a bigger agency and were not as personable. They were still great tho. I have heard great things about Dillon also.

As for time, it can take a while with Korea depending. Referral times right now are up to 18 months or so (last time I checked). In addition to that time, there is the wait for travel (3-4 months?) and the paperwork stage, which can be up to 6 months or so, depending on your homestudy and how fast you get things together.

Sorry for the long post but if you have any more questions, feel free to PM me. Also, check out the Holt adoption board (you can find the forum through the Holt link above). It is very active, especially Korea and you can often get many questions answered.

[Audrey]

Don't know if this is way off what you're thinking, but have you considered fostering? I have known people who have done this and ended up adopting infants and young children who were placed in their care, and then given up for adoption. It's just a thought.

[Sue G in PA]

THey are a bit pricey, but typically the wait is not long and the children are usually infants when they arrive. China is hard b/c of the income rules and also the family size (I think it's no more than 4 children already living in the home). We looked at several agencies. Love Basket, Bethany Christian Services (I even think we started the prelim. paperwork with them). There is an organization called Shaohannah's Hope run by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth (he's a Christian recording artist). They give adoption grants of up to $8,000. THey adopted 3 or 4 girls from China (don't ask me how they got around the family size rule b/c they already had 4 or 5 kids!). Also, somebody did mention the $10,000 tax credit. Some employers will help pay for some adoption expenses. My BIL and his wife adopted from South Korea just last year. Good experience so I hear. Good luck with the journey. I still think about adoption one day (even though we have almost 7 bio kids!). So many children in need. I won't recommend going the foster care/adoption route only b/c we've been burned in that arena. I just have a BAD taste in my mouth for Social Services in general. Anyway, I think the website for the grant is www.shaohannahshope.org. I could be wrong.