Any suggestions on keeping an 18mo off the staircase?

[Tap, tap, tap]

We have always had a gate at the bottom of the stairs until last night. The gate we usually have there, short enough to step over, broke. I tried installing a gate that attaches to the wall, and it just ripped out a hole in the drywall, so I guess that won't be working either. Our dry wall isn't very strong, and there is no wood to screw the gate to the stairway.

Since last light we have decided to try to train the baby to stay off the staircase. We are up and down the stairs all day so we hate to have a gate that isn't easy to step over or has a door in it. I really hate to replace the specialty "short" gate, because dfd18mths has spent the last week figuring out that she may be able to climb over it. That is how it broke. My kids have a lot of things in their rooms that are unhealthy for her, and they like having a "baby free" zone.



I figure it is time to train baby, but all morning she has done everything in her powers to get up there. She has been in "baby" timeouts most of the morning and we are trying hard to remind her to stay off of them. We really don't want the baby upstairs. Do you have any magic tricks to teacher her? Or do you have any other suggestions?

[melissel]

IMO, I wouldn't rely on teaching her not to go up. You just never know when she might decide to make a break for it, even if she seems like she's learned the lesson. And mainly, I'd be worrying about her falling down the stairs, because you could always put the doorknob covers or latches on the bedroom doors. Personally, I'd find a way to gate it. I don't think 18 months is old enough to understand the implications of the stairs permanently or to expect her to control her impulses long-term. Heck, I'm not sure 34 is old enough! :D

[3lilreds in NC]

Hmmmm... I wish I had good suggestions, but it sounds to me like another gate may be your only option. The only way to keep a toddler off the stairs is to stand there all day and make sure she doesn't get on them. Not so practical. :)

[Ellie]

constant teaching and reinforcing and even (dare I say it) discipline of the physical kind.

Or you could teach her how to go up and down safely. My friends with stairs teach their dc to go up and down on their bottoms :-)

It's better to teach her not to, or to teach her how to do it safely, than to depend on a gate. You become in bondage to making sure the gate is up and working properly, and there's always the possiblity that you'll go to another home that doesn't have a gate; if you've taught her not to, you won't have to worry about any other stairs.

[Jill, OK]

...get another gate.

You don't have to leave it up all the time; you could set aside times of the day when you know you're going to be right there to train her not to climb up, or to work with her and make sure she's doing it safely...but I'd want some sort of assurance that she couldn't dart up while my back was turned. Or, maybe your back is never turned, lol. (Mine is turned a lot, at my house!)

I can understand the desire to just train her not to do it...but safety issues aren't worth betting a (young) toddler's obedience on, IMO. Better to save that for other stuff, and have a failsafe for issues like stairs. (Again...just an opinion).

And...I'm not sure about a timeline for teaching them to go up/down alone. My two year olds are generally pretty coordinated, physically--my three year old taught himself to ride a two-wheeler--but I'd still feel inclined to keep a gate up with one a year and a half old, if I wasn't going to be in the vicinity, constantly. They're a little wild (at least mine are), and not great judges of the effects of inertia, lol. (One awkward topple or too-fast-corner-skidding, and you might have a situation.)

The desire to have a toddler-free zone is a valid one, although I don't know how practical that will be, long-term.

Just suggestions...let us know what you decide!

[In The Great White North]

:iagree:Another gate.

Find a stud a few steps up and put it there. There must be a stud in that wall somehwere :001_smile:. Give her a few steps to practice on and gate off the rest of the stairs. If she rolls down three steps, it's no big deal; if she rolls down the whole thing, you could be going to the ER.

Give yourself some peace of mind.

[j.griff]

I hate to say it, but once they start climbing over the gate, they've outgrown baby gates. At that point, they become a source of frustration and a hindrance, more than a safety measure. I agree with teaching her how to go up/down the stairs on her bottom, and put doorknob covers on the doors (if those still work for you) that you don't want her to open. Eventually she's going to be going up the stairs, and invading the "big kid" space. She'll still be considered to be "the baby" by the older kids. :)
I say, see about putting the "hazardous" items up out of the baby's reach, and teach your older children to watch out for her and keep their doors closed. Does she have her own room/space upstairs? It's so natural for little people to explore their world, it's hard to prevent that. Just try to make it as safe as possible. hugs and good luck.

[fruitful vine]

Sounds just like my 2 year old a few months ago!!! :glare:

She was determined, and she broke three different gates, and also climbed over each one.

Finally we just had the older kids shut and lock the bedroom doors.
They keep them locked all the time except at night.
They have a key tied up high outside the doors, so they can unlock the door to get in and she can't.

It's working for now.
The only problem was that the older kids need to remember to keep the doors locked!

Good Luck!

[Tap, tap, tap]

Dfd18mo goes up and down unassisted for nap and night time. She is a climber and has a great sense of balance. Since we had stairs we wanted her to know how to up and down safely just in case of her 'escape' over the gate. There have been a few times already that she had made it around the gate (usually just by pushing hard enough to push it over- she is a 35lb 18mo!) so we wanted her to be able to navigate safely.

Since she has figured out how to climb it, the short gate isn't going to work any longer. The traditional gate with a door is the next option. The problem is that we really can't put it on the staircase or the top, because the studs don't line up exactly on one wall to the other at any point. I spent some time trying to find a spot that would work before but couldn't find one. Even at the top landing there is just enough space between where they line up that it won't work. I also don't like the idea of a gate at the top of the stairs because my kids have a lot of sleep overs, and while they would get used to it, if we had a sleepwalker, or a kid that doesn't really look where they are going in the night time, we could have a major accident.

When ds was little we had a gate that was a pressure frame with a door. It had a solid frame that you adjusted to fit the opening, that used springs and pressure to hold it tight (instead of a permanent mount), and then the door moved freely within the frame. I haven't seen any that will work in a 42 inch opening. Maybe I need to look online some more.

She has been better this afternoon about staying off the stairs, so I just hope I can last until I can order something online. I have tried the local stores like Target, Walmart, BabiesRUs and Baby Depot but haven't had any luck.

There has to be something out there!

Thanks for the advice!


If anyone knows of a gate like the one I described please let me know!

[Tap, tap, tap]

I agree about her wanting to explore her world and that the older kids need to get used to the idea, but our circumstances are a little different than most.



Since, the baby is our foster daughter (will be basically adopted soon though) and they aren't the ones who took on the responsibility of her, I am trying to limit the negative impact she has on their lives. DS13 is a major HeroScape designer. His floor is usually covered from wall to wall in small pieces. To expect him to clear it every time he isn't in there would be cruel and unusual punishment to him. The same goes for dd9. Her bedroom, already has to be shared with the baby at night, and she had to give up being able to use her room for 3 hours at nap time and after 8pm at night for the baby. She has really been displaced and it will only get worse if I let the baby play in her room. She is the crafty kid and has scissors and craft supplies everywhere in her room. Even if she keeps them on her desk, the baby is a climber. Nothing is really out of her reach. Even at 18mo she will purposefully move a chair to climb on it to get to things out of her reach! I can't believe she hasn't climbed out of her crib yet. That will be a bridge we soon have to cross over though! We will probably have to move the baby back into our room until she is old enough to know to stay out of her sisters things (wishful thinking :D). We may need to buy a new house before then!

The baby also is allowed to explore most of the downstairs. She has about 700sqft to play in! Downstairs she is only gated out of the bathroom, laundry, kitchen, and office but is allowed in those part of the time when we can supervise her adequately.

Keeping the baby downstairs is the only real option right now.

[melissel]

I agree about her wanting to explore her world and that the older kids need to get used to the idea, but our circumstances are a little different than most.



Since, the baby is our foster daughter (will be basically adopted soon though) and they aren't the ones who took on the responsibility of her, I am trying to limit the negative impact she has on their lives. DS13 is a major HeroScape designer. His floor is usually covered from wall to wall in small pieces. To expect him to clear it every time he isn't in there would be cruel and unusual punishment to him. The same goes for dd9. Her bedroom, already has to be shared with the baby at night, and she had to give up being able to use her room for 3 hours at nap time and after 8pm at night for the baby. She has really been displaced and it will only get worse if I let the baby play in her room. She is the crafty kid and has scissors and craft supplies everywhere in her room. Even if she keeps them on her desk, the baby is a climber. Nothing is really out of her reach. Even at 18mo she will purposefully move a chair to climb on it to get to things out of her reach! I can't believe she hasn't climbed out of her crib yet. That will be a bridge we soon have to cross over though! We will probably have to move the baby back into our room until she is old enough to know to stay out of her sisters things (wishful thinking :D). We may need to buy a new house before then!

The baby also is allowed to explore most of the downstairs. She has about 700sqft to play in! Downstairs she is only gated out of the bathroom, laundry, kitchen, and office but is allowed in those part of the time when we can supervise her adequately.

Keeping the baby downstairs is the only real option right now.

Is there any way to simply keep her out of that room, rather than out of the hallway? That way you could mount a gate in the doorway instead of the hall. I agree about not putting a gate at the top, for sure. What a tough situation. I hope you figure something out.

ETA that I meant, is there a way to keep her out of the room where the entry to the bottom of the stairs is?

[Tap, tap, tap]

Is there any way to simply keep her out of that room, rather than out of the hallway? That way you could mount a gate in the doorway instead of the hall. I agree about not putting a gate at the top, for sure. What a tough situation. I hope you figure something out.

ETA that I meant, is there a way to keep her out of the room where the entry to the bottom of the stairs is?


Not really, the staircase is in the entry way. The baby loves to look out the side light window right by the stairs, which we hate to block since she enjoys it so much. The only way to block the whole entryway is with 12 foot gate, which they do make, but again it requires studs on both ends, and the walls don't line up there either- that was our original plan that didn't work out.


When we were house shopping we actually recognized that this would be a difficult house to have a baby in, but we never thought we would be where we are today! Dd9 was 2.5 and wasn't a climber when we bought this house. We also didn't homeschool and the office downstairs was her playroom, she really had no desire to go upstairs. Our house has a fairly open floor plan with only 2 door way sized openings downstairs separating 7 'rooms'. The rest of the openings are at least 12ft.


This was a great idea though,


Please keep the ideas coming!

Tap

[katilac]

What about Dutch doors for the bedrooms? The top half swings independently from the bottom half, so it's like a built-in baby gate. If dh or a friend is handy, you can convert your own.

Failing that, I would go with a combination of strategies. Go ahead and try training, but you CANNOT rely on that alone. I'd replace the baby gate, up a bit higher if possible, train baby to climb safely and with permission, and definitely train the older kids to lock the door and/or use door knob bafflers.

[Reya]

I agree about her wanting to explore her world and that the older kids need to get used to the idea, but our circumstances are a little different than most.



Since, the baby is our foster daughter (will be basically adopted soon though) and they aren't the ones who took on the responsibility of her, I am trying to limit the negative impact she has on their lives. DS13 is a major HeroScape designer. His floor is usually covered from wall to wall in small pieces. To expect him to clear it every time he isn't in there would be cruel and unusual punishment to him. The same goes for dd9. Her bedroom, already has to be shared with the baby at night, and she had to give up being able to use her room for 3 hours at nap time and after 8pm at night for the baby. She has really been displaced and it will only get worse if I let the baby play in her room. She is the crafty kid and has scissors and craft supplies everywhere in her room. Even if she keeps them on her desk, the baby is a climber. Nothing is really out of her reach. Even at 18mo she will purposefully move a chair to climb on it to get to things out of her reach! I can't believe she hasn't climbed out of her crib yet. That will be a bridge we soon have to cross over though! We will probably have to move the baby back into our room until she is old enough to know to stay out of her sisters things (wishful thinking :D). We may need to buy a new house before then!

The baby also is allowed to explore most of the downstairs. She has about 700sqft to play in! Downstairs she is only gated out of the bathroom, laundry, kitchen, and office but is allowed in those part of the time when we can supervise her adequately.

Keeping the baby downstairs is the only real option right now.

Why not just get them locks for their doors and let the toddler climb?