So the Mother-daughter brunch thread thing got me thinking

[Momto4kids]

I have 3 wonderful little boys who I absolutely love and adore. I woudn't trade them for anything. :001_wub:

That being said..........I yearn for a girl! I know this is probably silly and there is no rhyme or reason to it but I yearn for a little girl, to have that mother daughter bond, to dress up, do her hair, have tea parties etc. etc.

We are thinking about having a fourth child eventually, we just are not ready right now for various reasons. If I have a fourth boy I would love him just as much as my other boys.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

The mother daughter brunch thing made think again about my want for a dd. I would be fine going to a womens brunch that people bring their daughters to but I have to say when there is one just for mothers and daughters I feel sad. Not even that I don't have a dd but that I can't go and be involed in other little girls lives. I have 4 nieces and I would love to go to tea parties with their mothers and them. Or go to the American Girls store etc. But it is like because I am a mother of boys people don't think that I have an interset. I don't know. Just some of my rambling thoughts.

[Sue G in PA]

Well, we had a girl first. I always knew I'd have a girl first...not sure why. Then we went on to have 4 boys in a row. By boy #3...I cried for 2 wks after the u/s confirmed he was a he. Crazy, huh? Then, when boy #4's u/s showed he was a he...I cried again. I was just so done with having boys. We got pregnant with child #6 and I never had an u/s b/c I didn't want to know. But, I had a feeling and I was right...she was a she.

Well, now, this baby I'm carrying is definitely another boy and I've had serious issues since we found out. It's awful, I know. I love my boys to death...wouldn't trade them as you said. I just so wanted to "even things out" a bit around here! It would have been so nice to have a girl for my dd2. Now, my girls are 9 years apart and while it's so awesome to see the "bond" that dd11 and dd2 share...the age difference is wide. We'd like to go on to have another...hopefully a girl. BUT, I know myself. If it turned out to be a boy...I'd be upset. I know...it is absolutely awful. Once this baby is born I know I won't care that it's a boy or a girl...just healthy. I mean, I'm already head over heels in love with him just as I am with my other boys and my girls. It's just the thought and the disappointment b/c I really thought we'd have one more girl...

[nancypants]

Hee hee... okay, I probably wouldn't be a huge fan of mother daughter teas, etc. That's just not me but I DO know how you feel about wanting a daughter... I very much wanted a daughter through my last two pregnancies... I have four boys! :D Deep down I still want a daughter but we are not having any more babies for several reasons (mainly pregnancy related).

When I found out my last two were boys, I will not lie, I cried. It's not that I was sad for who I was given. I love these little boys more than anything and wouldn't trade them for anything. I was sad for what I would never share with someone that I had shared with my mother. My mother and I are very close and I had to "mourn" the fact that I would most likely never share that with a daughter.

We may still consider adoption some day but we are not going there yet... we are just enjoying who we have been blessed with. And I'm enjoying the fact that my husband has to take them all to the bathroom when we go to public places... I get a few minutes of peace and quiet when I go to the bathroom in a public place! LOL That and I'm always the prettiest in the house! :tongue_smilie:

[Momto4kids]

Hee hee... okay, I probably wouldn't be a huge fan of mother daughter teas, etc. That's just not me but I DO know how you feel about wanting a daughter... I very much wanted a daughter through my last two pregnancies... I have four boys! :D Deep down I still want a daughter but we are not having any more babies for several reasons (mainly pregnancy related).

When I found out my last two were boys, I will not lie, I cried. It's not that I was sad for who I was given. I love these little boys more than anything and wouldn't trade them for anything. I was sad for what I would never share with someone that I had shared with my mother. My mother and I are very close and I had to "mourn" the fact that I would most likely never share that with a daughter.

We may still consider adoption some day but we are not going there yet... we are just enjoying who we have been blessed with. And I'm enjoying the fact that my husband has to take them all to the bathroom when we go to public places... I get a few minutes of peace and quiet when I go to the bathroom in a public place! LOL That and I'm always the prettiest in the house! :tongue_smilie:


Oh yes I do love that my dh has to take them to the bathroom and i get to be a lady of leisure and wait for them to get back. I hadn't thought about the prettiest tho! hehehe :lol:

[Momto4kids]

Well, we had a girl first. I always knew I'd have a girl first...not sure why. Then we went on to have 4 boys in a row. By boy #3...I cried for 2 wks after the u/s confirmed he was a he. Crazy, huh? Then, when boy #4's u/s showed he was a he...I cried again. I was just so done with having boys. We got pregnant with child #6 and I never had an u/s b/c I didn't want to know. But, I had a feeling and I was right...she was a she.

Well, now, this baby I'm carrying is definitely another boy and I've had serious issues since we found out. It's awful, I know. I love my boys to death...wouldn't trade them as you said. I just so wanted to "even things out" a bit around here! It would have been so nice to have a girl for my dd2. Now, my girls are 9 years apart and while it's so awesome to see the "bond" that dd11 and dd2 share...the age difference is wide. We'd like to go on to have another...hopefully a girl. BUT, I know myself. If it turned out to be a boy...I'd be upset. I know...it is absolutely awful. Once this baby is born I know I won't care that it's a boy or a girl...just healthy. I mean, I'm already head over heels in love with him just as I am with my other boys and my girls. It's just the thought and the disappointment b/c I really thought we'd have one more girl...


I understand! :glare:

[Danestress]

I don't think what you are feeling is at all unusual or silly. I think it's very natural.

I have all sons and have never really felt sad about not raising a daughter. I was from a family of all girls and loved that - I love my sisters and my girl friends and really value the role certain women have played in my life. I feel sad sometimes that I won't have an *adult* daughter, but I just haven't ever felt sad about not raising a little girl.

However, I do think I will be a little sad when my children are all grown. I think the relationship between an adult woman and her mother is very special and I think when my own mother dies, it will be very sad for me not to have some version of that relationship ongoing in my life.

The whole "wishing what is not" is hard. I know my father probably really would have liked to have had a son. Even though he loves my sisters and I and wouldn't trade any of us for a boy, I do think he missed something that would have been really special for him. Grandsons has made up for some of that. Maybe someday I will be grandmother to a little girl, and I am sure I will LOVE it and probably will be willing to do a lot of "little girl" things (like teas and manicure) that I would not have been willing to endure as a mother!

[Chris in VA]

My friend is the last of 5 girls--when she was 30, her mom finally admitted that she cried when my friend was born--she wanted a boy! but she was and is very loved.

As for me, I had two boys, and then got preg with #3. I would've been fine if she had been a boy, but I was glad she was a girl.

It's ok. You can be glad for a blessing and mourn for a different one at the same time. But never let the child know. And practice the just being glad part.:D

[kokotg]

When I was pregnant with my second boy (out of 3, and we're most likely all finished), I was talking to my mom about how I was feeling fine about it...and she said, "well, yeah, except I always think it's good to have a girl for when they grow up--girls are usually closer to their mothers than boys are." gee, mom--way to support the pregnant woman! :lol: Now, with 3 boys, I'm more fine with it than I ever thought I would be. I was very worried that I'd spend the rest of my life staring wistfully at little girls on the playground, but I really don't. I'm terribly partial to my boys, and I secretly believe there aren't any other kids as amazing as mine ;); male or female. I won't pretend I never wonder about the girl I never had, or mourn over my long lists of unused girl names (I really wanted a Susanna, n.n. Sukie), or worry that my mom is right and I'll never hear from my boys once they leave for college...but mostly I'm content. I think mixed emotions are perfectly normal. And anyway, I hear there's a special place in heaven for me now. Actually, I'm pretty tired of hearing about it; the first time I was let in on the secret about the "special place in heaven for mothers of three boys" was from the ultrasound tech during my last pregnancy, and I haven't stopped hearing about it since!