View Full Version : Was your dad for or against pierced ears? When did you get your ears pierced?
My dad was against because the thought made him queasy. I was in the 3rd grade and I got them done at the mall. Total suprise to me I was convinced I would have to wait even when mother told someone I was getting my ears done I didn't know what she was talking about.
Mrs Mungo
05-01-2008, 12:15 AM
I had three younger sisters and I don't think our dad even ventured to offer input for such things....ever. :lol:
Um yeah, our home was not a Democratic society. Dad didn't get a vote on chick things. (er..I am not sure he got a vote on anything)
Rose in BC
05-01-2008, 12:26 AM
I have two older sisters. My oldest sister (13 years older than me) took me and my little sister when we were 8 and 10. We tried to hide it from my dad, who, of course, noticed right away.
He wasn't really that mad. He just said he could have done it for free! lol!
I'm not sure why he was opposed. My mom finally got her's pierced when she was 68 (with his blessing).
sclisa
05-01-2008, 12:26 AM
My dad was neutral regarding my mother's ears, but he was against piercing my ears until age 13. I have no idea why he thought 13 was an acceptable age, but that was his decision. However, mine were actually pierced at the age of 11 when my mom, my mom's best friend and my aunt (dad's sister) took me shopping one day. Dad was fine with it in the end. I think he was simply reluctant for me to grow up, and to him, this was a part of "growing up."
Lisa
genie
05-01-2008, 12:29 AM
I don't know that my dad had much of an opinion on it. I think I was in second grade. My mom worked in a dental lab at the time and brought home some topical anesthetic, rubbed it on my ears, got an ice cube and a big old diaper pin and pierced them herself. :ohmy: (Yeah, literally a diaper pin from my baby days.)
That set the precedent, I guess, because I did my five additional piercings on my own with regular earrings... twice through the cartilage.
I did, however, allow a professional to pierce my navel. :001_rolleyes:
Sahamamama
05-01-2008, 12:32 AM
... I don't think my parents had any opinion on the subject. It just never interested me to have it done until I was an adult. Now, I have pierced ears, and I sometimes wear earrings when my husband and I go out on a date (like, once every two months!), but I have twin 16 month old daughters who pull at everything, so I don't wear earrings much these days.
KidsHappen
05-01-2008, 12:40 AM
But obviously that didn't stop my dm. I had mine done when I was 12 or 13. They had pretty much grown over by the time I was 33. Some of my dd had them done when they were younger and have let them grow over already, some haven't even had it done yet.
abbeyej
05-01-2008, 12:47 AM
I don't think it occurred to my dad to have an opinion on the matter.
I had mine done at 14, but I think that was 'cause that was when I finally mustered the courage to do it. My sister got hers done younger.
I didn't ask dh before I let dd get her ears pierced, 'cause I didn't think it was a big deal. He didn't seem distressed afterwards, so I must not have misjudged too terribly. ;)
newsong
05-01-2008, 01:43 AM
My dad had said I had to be 13yo before he would consider it. I begged and pleaded at 12yo and he allowed it. Now for the fun part, my mom's boss' wife did it the way the did in her native country - with a potato, a needle and a shot of some alcohol, maybe rum, to take the edge off. It was painful but doable, until infection set in and stayed awhile. I ended up letting my holes close and tried it again a few years later. That time I went to the doctor's office and they used the quick-click gun. Much easier and less painful with no infection. My only complaint is he didn't line up my holes exactly right but probably no one else notices.
My dh and I also told our oldest dd she had to be 13 before she could pierce her ears. Our reasoning for that is that it is a permanent, if minor, change to your body and you should be old enough to take that into consideration before making the choice. She's 13 now and so far has opted not to have her ears pierced.
Janet in WA
05-01-2008, 02:15 AM
My father wasn't in favor of it, but didn't forbid it either. I had my ears pierced at age 14 -- after I finished 8th grade at a parochial school that didn't allow earrings at school.
pixelroper
05-01-2008, 02:27 AM
I do not think he was "against" it but I did have to wait until I was 16. My grandmother was outspokenly against it and promoted clip-ons, yet she didn't get mad when I had it done (at 16).
added: I haven't wore any earrings in years either...
Sandra314
05-01-2008, 02:40 AM
... I don't think my parents had any opinion on the subject. It just never interested me to have it done until I was an adult. Now, I have pierced ears, and I sometimes wear earrings when my husband and I go out on a date (like, once every two months!), but I have twin 16 month old daughters who pull at everything, so I don't wear earrings much these days.
Same here. I did not getmy ears pierced until adulthood. Even now, I seldom wear earrings unless it is a special outing.
Jean in Newcastle
05-01-2008, 02:41 AM
Both my parents were against it but I didn't ask their opinion. My ears were pierced with a safety pin. Let me tell you - "numbing" the area with ice doesn't really work. All the boys in the boys' dorm were crowded around the windows of the girls' dorm watching it being done. I couldn't even flinch - we were big on not showing any weakness! My ears got horribly infected - I got hypoallergenic posts, disinfected them religiously etc. - I finally just let them close up. I have two really nice scars on my ears now!
Snickerdoodle
05-01-2008, 02:50 AM
I got mine done when I was born. Gettting my ears pierced was not on my father's radar.
kimmyandgracie
05-01-2008, 06:12 AM
Mine was against it. He said I had to wait until I was 16, and when I turned 16 I heard you could get gangrene if the piercings got infected, so I didn't get them pierced then. By the time I got past that fear I didn't want them pierced anymore, so I never did get them pierced and I'm 27 now.
Virginia Dawn
05-01-2008, 07:34 AM
My dad would say, "You already have five wholes in your head, you don't need two more." My mom backed him up, because she didn't have pierced ears either. I think that was the way they grew up.
Anyway, when I left home, a friend did them for me with an ice cube and needle. It hurt like the dickens. My friend, who had said it would be sooo easy, she had even done her grandmothers, told me I had tough ear lobes. :bigear: She had to wrestle the needle through my ear.
Now I usually only where earrings for church and occasions.
P.S. My mom got hers done within a year after she found out I did mine.
Lorna in the boonies
05-01-2008, 07:35 AM
I never asked because I was never interested.
After I got married, dh brought it up a few times, and once when he was out of town for a few days, I surprised him and got it done. I was 23.
(I'll be 41 this month, and I think I've worn earrings a total of about 6 times since then.)
BamaTanya
05-01-2008, 07:54 AM
but it was because of church beliefs. Now that I'm grown and have changed churches, I still don't like the idea, and haven't allowed my dds to have their ears pierced. I don't mind clip-ons or other jewelry. I just don't want to do anything permanent to my body. I want my dds to be adults when they make permanent decisions like that.
(I know -- I'm dreadfully old-fashoned!)
Lisa in Jax
05-01-2008, 07:56 AM
My dad was neutral regarding my mother's ears, but he was against piercing my ears until age 13. I have no idea why he thought 13 was an acceptable age, but that was his decision. However, mine were actually pierced at the age of 11 when my mom, my mom's best friend and my aunt (dad's sister) took me shopping one day. Dad was fine with it in the end. I think he was simply reluctant for me to grow up, and to him, this was a part of "growing up."
Lisa
Lisa,
This was the situation in my house, too. When I was a kid, Dad (and Mom) set a somewhat arbitrary age of 13 as the required age. "13" was the age b/c they thought I would be old enough/mature enough to take care of them after piercing. It was also about "growing up." In our area of the US in the 70s, little girls didn't often get their ears pierced. Some families had their baby daughter's ears pierced, but most of my friends' families didn't do that. Only teens/adults had pierced ears. So, "getting your ears pierced" was a mark of growing up. It was a rite of passage, as was wearing a bra for the first time, that happened when you were maturing.
For my daughters, I didn't think it was necessary to wait for an arbitrary age, and it was no longer unusual for little girls (or boys, for that matter) to have pierced ears. I just waited until I thought they could handle the care while the ears healed. DD#1 was ten when we let her pierce her ears. I would have let her do it when she was younger, but she was too frightened to do it, so I left it up to her to decide when she was ready.
DD#2 came home from India at age 8 with pierced ears. The holes were very oddly placed, though, (too high and too close to the ear canal by American standards), so we let her re-pierce them in a more centered place on the earlobes. She was 10 when we let her do it.
DH had very little opinion about when/if the ear piercing happened. He deferred to my wishes. ;-)
Lisa
Gamom3
05-01-2008, 08:00 AM
But my mom took me to Belk when I was 6yrs old and had them done.
I had little owls. My mom told me to keep my hair down until she told my dad.
He wasn't happy with her, but got over it.
Heather in NC
05-01-2008, 08:02 AM
He was against it. I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 15yo.
Andie
05-01-2008, 08:02 AM
I wonder about the ages of those of us responding that Dad didn't have much say...
My dad-in-the-house had no opinion one way or the other, and if he had, it was what my mother told him it was, whether that was what he originally thought or not. *sigh*
My mom did mine when I was 6, going on 7. We went to the home of a friend of hers, and I was very upset because my only knowledge of the process came from Grease. We know how that worked out for poor Sandy. Anyway, I sat on the barstool, anticipating a needle of some sort, and then I saw the woman pull out the gun. I SCREAMED, knocked over the stool and ran away crying and flailing and completely terrified. I *really, really* thought she was going to shoot a hole in my ear, then stick an earring in it. (Which, I suppose she did, but I was thinking bullet.)
My mother tells that story with glee. I get a little faint, and over the years that woman has morphed from an overweight beautician to Clint Eastwood in my mind.
But my dad-out-of-the-house thought it was fine, but wouldn't have fought my mother if he hadn't, either.
My dh was only concerned that our dds be old enough to take care of them and express a desire to have them. They each did, around 7-10, so they both have pierced ears but rarely wear earrings. :rolleyes:
Jenny in Atl
05-01-2008, 08:06 AM
Don't think he even noticed! If I remember right, I was about seven or eight. I know I had them by 3rd grade, as I have photos.
Brigitte
05-01-2008, 08:10 AM
When I was in 2nd grade and I was visiting my dad, I told him it was okay with my mom. I had never asked her. When I got back to my mom's, I told her dad said it was okay. Ah, nothing like kids of divorced parents!
My dh is somewhat opposed to it for our girls, but I think he will defer to my judgement. I would let my girls do it ideally at 12 or 13, if they chose to, but I would also consider it earlier. The problem I do have is that the rule of no dangling earrings seems to fall by the wayside so quickly. It gets to be a slippery slope, so I am trying to stick with the 12 or 13 rule. :tongue_smilie:
Gwen in VA
05-01-2008, 08:30 AM
My father didn't have any opinions on ear piercing that I know of.
My MOTHER, however, did! She was a real feminist, and she thought it was awful of women to put holes in their ears just to make themselves attractive to men!
I got married at 22 and promptly got my ears pierced. I haven't worn earrings much lately -- too busy to deal with that -- but I have enjoyed being able to wear earrings for dress occasions.
Elisabeth in IL
05-01-2008, 08:40 AM
Yep, my dad said for the longest time that if God wanted holes in my head he would have put holes in my head. I was totally surprised when he let my best friends dad, who was our family doctor, pierce my ears when I was 12.
amyable
05-01-2008, 09:40 AM
I don't think my dad was for it, but he allowed it when I turned 10. Although when I came home from college at 20 or so with double piercings, he totally flipped out. :glare: And they wonder why I have issues. :lol:
Rebecca in GA
05-01-2008, 09:45 AM
Daddy's grandmother died of blood poisoning directly related to her ear piercings, so he was not happy when my mom and I got our ears pierced when I was 9. He got over it.
Amyable, mine also freaked out when I got my standard college double piercings, but by the time I got my third one in my left ear, he just rolled his eyes and snapped at me, "I guess if one is good, 100 is better!"
After years of not wearing the second and third earrings, I had the piercings re-done a few weeks ago. I'm nearly 40 years old and have no intention of telling Daddy! :leaving:
sclisa
05-01-2008, 10:12 AM
Lisa,
DH had very little opinion about when/if the ear piercing happened. He deferred to my wishes. ;-)Lisa
:D My dh also defers to my wishes concerning ears & other "daughter" issues. I think he would definitely voice his opinion if he felt strongly about something, but, so far, we haven't had an issue like that.
Lisa
TrixieB
05-01-2008, 10:27 AM
My dad was against; he finally relented and let me get my ears pierced just before I turned 15. Then, oddly enough, he went with me when I went for another piercing on one ear, a year later!
He didn't react positively, however, when my dds got their ears pierced at ages 4 & 7.
Heather in the Kootenays
05-01-2008, 10:54 AM
When I turned 18, his partner pierced my ears for free just to prove to my dad that they wouldn't necessarily get infected. Of course, my ears got infected and I had to stay at university for several weekends just to hide the fact. I can't remember if I ever told him that story.
Brenda in FL
05-01-2008, 11:22 AM
My dad was opposed when I was younger. I think I started wanting to have them done in about 2nd and 3rd grade. When my sister and I would ask - he'd say, "Sure, get me a potato and a needle." Or "Ok, where's the hole puncher." His way of saying no. My sister and I finally got them done when we were in 5th or 6th grade. I think we went to JCPenney.
Interesting cultural thing, in second grade which was probably in the last years of busing in kids to desegregate the schools, there were a few girls who had loops of thread in their ears, because this was the way their culture pierced ears. I wonder if people still do that? I imagine not.
Dh didn't have an opinion when dd had hers pierced at 6 yo. (But he grew up with 3 sisters.) In fact, he didn't seem to have an opinion when I informed him that if we had a baby girl with no hair, and if everyone thought she was a boy, that I would have her ears pierced as an infant.
Mekanamom
05-01-2008, 11:24 AM
My parents were both completely against pierced ears. It was terrible (in my mind), because I would get beautiful pierced earrings from friends for my birthday every year, and I could never wear them. But you know... their house, their rules.
I got my ears done when I was 19, and had them double pierced (to make up for lost time?). LOL. My mom is still scandalized that my ears are not only pierced, but double pierced.
Then shortly after, I got my 1st tattoo... then a belly piercing... then another tat... ;)
My parents were also against: nail polish, hair color... they gave me all kinds of trouble for shaving even. (At first. They got over it.)
After I had kids, I stopped wearing dangle-y earrings, but I wear tiny sparkly studs all the time. They don't get in the way.
ETA: My DH is completely opposite. He has no problem with the kids (We have 4 including my step-dd) getting their ears pierced... my 18 yo step-dd and my 11yo have theirs double pierced. They did that together- it was a sister bonding moment. Each time the girls have gotten their ears pierced for the first time, DH goes with them and gets an earring too. So far, my youngest has decided against it, so DH has 3 piercings- 2 in one ear and 1 in the other.)
kdeno
05-01-2008, 12:13 PM
ears pierced until she is an older teen. I do not understand but I respect him so much.
Kari
Wendy In KS
05-01-2008, 12:46 PM
Or at least, if he did, I didn't know it. I got mine done at 8 because my mom wanted our pediatrician to do it, and we were getting ready to move across country.
My dh never really expressed a care with our older two dds, so I got them done when I took them on vacation (with grammy) to Mall of America. My dd (then 2) really wanted them- to the point of stopping in every store begging for earrings, and her older sister (then 4) wasn't too sure, but I convinced her with a lollipop :D
When dd#3 came along, I decided I wanted to get hers done a lot earlier. Dh wasn't thrilled, but relented, saying "I just don't want to be there". So, last summer when she was six months old, and I was in Florida (once again, with grammy ;) ) we got them done.
I don't think he cares now, but he never gets involved with any of the care. Which is fine with me- :tongue_smilie:
klmama
05-01-2008, 02:04 PM
I had it done at 12.
QuirkyKapers
05-01-2008, 02:06 PM
My dad didn't care either. I got my ears done when I was 12 too!
Chris in VA
05-01-2008, 02:08 PM
I got mine pierced sometime as a late teen. I got one of them double pierced in college (Mom didn't like that). I got the other one done as an adult after a very, very bad day at work.
I'm not letting dd8 get her's pierced until she's 16, as a right of passage.
Call me old fashioned. I like saving some things.
I don't think it even occurred to my dad to give piercing a moment's thought. But we weren't talking anything radical, either.
Kuovonne
05-01-2008, 10:18 PM
Neither of my parents wanted me to get pierced ears. Most of the time it didn't bother me, but I felt really lousy at dance recital time. All of the other girls had pierced ears and we were even told what type of earrings to wear for the performance. I was the only girl without earrings at the show.
I ended up getting my ears pierced at the mall all by my lonesome when I was old enough to have them done without parental consent, at around 14 or 15, I think.
Shanna
05-01-2008, 10:33 PM
I got mine done when I was 5. He didnt care he was there when they were done. My mom went into labor at the mall right afterwards. So I know exactly what day they were done.
Dana in OR
05-02-2008, 01:54 AM
and I am almost sure he wasn't consulted. Mom and I went shopping one day and I just got it done. I can't imagine having talked to him about anything like that, LOL.
Momto4kids
05-02-2008, 02:11 AM
My dad was against because the thought made him queasy. I was in the 3rd grade and I got them done at the mall. Total suprise to me I was convinced I would have to wait even when mother told someone I was getting my ears done I didn't know what she was talking about.
My dad left stuff like that up to my mom. I think I was in 5th or 6th grade.
theodwyn
05-02-2008, 07:10 AM
My dad didn't allow me to but it may have been more of a church issue than his own opinion. I got my ears pierced when I was 30.
WTMindy
05-02-2008, 10:23 AM
My dad didn't care, but I had to wait until 13. For some reason, my dh has a strong opinion and doesn't want 11yodd to get them until she is 16!!! I think that is toooooo long to wait, but I'm OK to wait until she is 13. She went through a period where she really wanted them and now she doesn't care too much. I can't imagine why he has an opinion on this (of course, he has opinions on most things.:001_smile:)
Elisabeth in IL
05-02-2008, 10:41 AM
My dad didn't care, but I had to wait until 13. For some reason, my dh has a strong opinion and doesn't want 11yodd to get them until she is 16!!! I think that is toooooo long to wait, but I'm OK to wait until she is 13. She went through a period where she really wanted them and now she doesn't care too much. I can't imagine why he has an opinion on this (of course, he has opinions on most things.:001_smile:)
My guess would be that he doesn't want her to grow up. My dh says that he thanks God daily that we only have boys because he would be a mess if we had a daughter. My dh also has an opinion on everything. He says that I get to decorate the house but I don't really. Everything needs to be run by him because of his strong opinions. Fortunately or unfortunately I have strong opinions too. ;)
3lilreds in NC
05-02-2008, 10:45 AM
My dad was neutral regarding my mother's ears, but he was against piercing my ears until age 13. I have no idea why he thought 13 was an acceptable age, but that was his decision. However, mine were actually pierced at the age of 11 when my mom, my mom's best friend and my aunt (dad's sister) took me shopping one day. Dad was fine with it in the end. I think he was simply reluctant for me to grow up, and to him, this was a part of "growing up."
Lisa
Heh. I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 13 either; I don't know that it was my dad's rule, or if that's what my parents decided. I don't remember him having an opinion. My mom has pierced ears, but neither of my grandmothers did. Somethings about adding more holes to their heads when unnecessary, LOL.
Anyway, I do recall that when they were going to let my sister get her ears pierced when she was younger than 13, I pitched a fit because it was NOT FAIR. She may have been more responsible that I was. I did not care. So I think they made her wait.
Aren't you glad I'm not your older sister? :lol:
I have a friend who got her girls' ears pierced when they were infants, because they wouldn't remember the pain. She said she found it fairly easy to care for them. I wish I'd thought of that, but too late now, so we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Neither of my girls has asked, so I am not going to broach the subject at this point.
HollyDay
05-02-2008, 10:49 AM
my dad was against. He though only "lose women" would have such things. My mom took me in 8th grade - along with all the other girls and their moms in my class - to get our ears pierced. Mine promptly got infected and I had to let them close up. I pierced them several more times then finally realized I had a nickel allergy. No more problems until this past Feb when I started getting an irritation in one earring site. Strange
jjmw1
05-02-2008, 11:08 AM
My dad didn't really mind. I got it done when I turned 8.
Of course, I have 2 girls now and they both had theirs pierced when they were babies and don't know any different. They healed just fine and enjoy wearing earrings now.
RebeccaC
05-02-2008, 11:11 AM
Growing up my dad was a pastor or seminary prof in a church organization that viewed jewelry as sin so of course ear piercing was taboo. I had mine done at 26 after much thought and prayer and reading a bit about grace :) Dh used to buy me a pair of Lapis (my fav stone) European backed earrings every year until I had just way to many and 9/11 and life simplified our life style. So when I get dressed up I usually wear one of my Lapis otherwise I just wear gold ball posts :D Thats about as far as I get in the area of conspicuous consumption ;)
Cafelattee
05-02-2008, 12:08 PM
She was as much one of the children as I. My dad was no ear pierce, and alot of other stuff. Anyway at 18 during my rebellion I was pierced 6 times. I still remember how it hurt, but I just wanted to show him. He called me a tramp! I think its funny now, considering what young girls are doing now.
kleahey
05-02-2008, 02:05 PM
I don't think my dad much cared. He just didn't want to be there; he's an EMT but the blood of family members made him queasy. I believe I was eight. My mom did it in the kitchen with a pair of her (sterilized) earrings and an ice cube.
Eliana
05-02-2008, 04:08 PM
My *dad* had no opinion on the subject, but my mother has never seen any reason for getting holes poked in one's body. (She dislikes both needles and (most) jewelry...)
I never had much interest until I was given a lovely pair of earrings as a gift when I was 17. My mother thought I was silly, but wasn't the forbidding sort, so I got them done then. I wore simple studs occasionally until I had kids, but my holes have closed up now and I don't think I'll ever be interested enough in earrings to get them redone.
Our daughters don't have pierced ears, and won't until they are older.
JFS in IL
05-02-2008, 04:18 PM
Ummmm..I didn't get around to it until I was 25. My kid sister got double piercings as a teenager. Dad merely made smart remarks about "holes in the head".
mom42terrificgirls
05-02-2008, 06:05 PM
It was for my 12th birthday from my grandmother. She didn't tell my parents ahead of time. Didn't go over real well at first, but it was done so they couldn't say much.
Mommy22alyns
05-02-2008, 06:17 PM
My mom had mine pierced when I was 3 or so... I'm not sure what my dad thought at the time.
sclisa
05-02-2008, 08:34 PM
Heh. I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 13 either; I don't know that it was my dad's rule, or if that's what my parents decided. I don't remember him having an opinion. My mom has pierced ears, but neither of my grandmothers did. Somethings about adding more holes to their heads when unnecessary, LOL.
Anyway, I do recall that when they were going to let my sister get her ears pierced when she was younger than 13, I pitched a fit because it was NOT FAIR. She may have been more responsible that I was. I did not care. So I think they made her wait.
Aren't you glad I'm not your older sister? :lol:
I have a friend who got her girls' ears pierced when they were infants, because they wouldn't remember the pain. She said she found it fairly easy to care for them. I wish I'd thought of that, but too late now, so we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Neither of my girls has asked, so I am not going to broach the subject at this point.
My oldest is just like you were...she cries "NOT FAIR" whenever there's even a hint that her younger sister might possibly...maybe...get to do something earlier than she could. :lol:
My dad used to say the same thing that you mentioned. His version was, "That's all you need -- a couple more holes in your head." :D
Lisa
Jenny in Florida
05-02-2008, 09:42 PM
I got mine pierced the first time when I was 10, I think. That didn't turn out well, and I ended up in the ER in Edinburgh (we were travelling at the time) having a doctor dig the backings out from under the skin, which had closed up over them along with a nasty infection.
He advised me to wear clip-ons.
I, of course, ignored him, waited until the original holes mostly closed up, then talked my way into getting them re-pierced at some place in the mall a couple of years later.
ETA: Oh, and for what it's worth, my daughter is 13 and has no interest in getting hers pierced, even though I would not have a problem letting her do it.
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