When a compliment fails...or foot in my mouth

[unsinkable]

Yesterday, at a indoor soccer game there was a boy whose stamina was amazing. He seemed to be on the field more than he was off and he looked like he never tired. His dad said he had played in 4 hockey games that weekend already.

So, I should have just said, "Wow! What an athlete!" or "He has so much energy and stamina!"

But I said: "He should join the Marines!" I meant it as a compliment. But the dad was furious and said, "No, he shouldn't. I don't go for any of that sh*t."

I said, "Oh, I'm sorry."

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I hate when that happens.

[abbeyej]

Well, as far as "foot in mouth" goes, I'd say you were less to blame than that other "contributor" to the conversation. Eek. Okay, so maybe direct comments on the child's energy or athleticism would have been less open to negative interpretation... But still, it was his choice to take your innocent exclamation of admiration and respond by using an expletive to describe a whole group of people, most of whom are hard-working, dedicated and self-sacrificing (regardless of how one feels about the current war).

I don't think you did anything wrong.

And someone as determined to take offense as that fellow seems, could probably have taken offense to comments about energy ("You sayin' my kid has ADD?") or athleticism ("You callin' my kid an idiot?"), lol... Sigh. At least you weren't the kid who had to go home with that jerk at the end of the day.

[WTMindy]

Yesterday, at a indoor soccer game there was a boy whose stamina was amazing. He seemed to be on the field more than he was off and he looked like he never tired. His dad said he had played in 4 hockey games that weekend already.

So, I should have just said, "Wow! What an athlete!" or "He has so much energy and stamina!"

But I said: "He should join the Marines!" I meant it as a compliment. But the dad was furious and said, "No, he shouldn't. I don't go for any of that sh*t."

I said, "Oh, I'm sorry."

Oh man, his response was uncalled for. I think he knew you meant it as a compiment. Believe me you did not put your foot in your mouth. If you want foot-in-mouth, you oughta see my dh give compliments!! :001_huh:

[DIY-DY]

Yesterday, at a indoor soccer game there was a boy whose stamina was amazing. He seemed to be on the field more than he was off and he looked like he never tired. His dad said he had played in 4 hockey games that weekend already.

So, I should have just said, "Wow! What an athlete!" or "He has so much energy and stamina!"

But I said: "He should join the Marines!" I meant it as a compliment. But the dad was furious and said, "No, he shouldn't. I don't go for any of that sh*t."

I said, "Oh, I'm sorry."

Just... wow. What a 'tude! I don't see that you said anything wrong (although in hindsight, obviously, something else might have gone over better) - I think he could have responded with a bit more tact. Period. Wow.

I guess that makes me feel a bit better about how I responded to DS9's baseball coach the other day. I mentioned that we're trying hard to get DS to hit. the. ball. - or even just swing - (personally, I've despaired of it ever happening) when his coach said, "Well, in practice, he really knocks it out there." I blinked. Repeatedly. Then said, "MY son? REALLY?" (in that squeaky voice that just shoots out when you're surprised). He said, "OH, yes, he has excellent hand-eye coordination." Again, still unrecovered from the shock, I squeaked out, "J----?!? REALLY? Huh. Wow." Ugh, way to be supportive, Mom. :tongue_smilie:

[MelissaD]

So, his kid is to good to serve and protect our country?!? I would have been furious if someone responded to me like that!! It is a great honor to serve in our nation's armed forces.

[HollyinNNV]

I would have taken it as a compliment. Don't feel bad!
Holly

[Jenny in Florida]

. . . I don't think you did anything wrong.

As a crunchy granola head pacifist type, I would never encourage my child to join the military. But, I do respect the bravery and sacrifice of those who do, and I would never respond so rudely to someone who was clearly trying to offer a compliment.

In that parent's shoes, I likely would have said something along the lines of, "Well, I kind of hope he goes in a different direction, but he's certainly got the energy for it. Thanks!"

Honestly, that guy was the rude one, not you.