Appropriate Bat Mitzvah gift

[Zee]

I bought some 14K gold hoop earrings for my 14 yr old niece who is celebrating a Bat Mitzvah soon. They were $30 with the tax. My husband and I are wondering if this is enough to be a suitable gift for this event. We are not Jewish, so I'm not sure what is appropriate. We normally spend about $25 on her for birthdays and I've read online that a gift suitable for a birthday is suitable for a Bat Mitzvah. But....I've also seen a $50 figure thrown around in several places. Can anyone advise? I think the earrings are very nice and "grown-up" since they are 14K, but we don't want to be too cheap, either. :tongue_smilie:

[Amy in Orlando]

The earrings are a lovely, appropriate gift for a Bat Mitzvah.

[susie in tx]

Are they orthodox?

[JFS in IL]

Unless you send the price tag, how would anyone know what you paid??? If the girl has pierced ears, it sounds like a good gift!

[Michelle T]

and there is no particularly price anyone needs to pay for a gift. Unfortunately, some Bar/Bat mitzvahs have gotten out of hand, insanely extravagant parties, instead of the religious milestone that they should be.
Michelle T

[Zee]

No, they aren't orthodox.

[Zee]

True...and she does have pierced ears. :)

[susie in tx]

No, they aren't orthodox.

I kind of figured, based on her age, but thought I would ask anyway. My respond would be slightly different if they were.

The earrings are a wonderful gift. :) My dd would be absolutely delighted were she to get them for her bat mitzvah.

[Zee]

Thanks, everyone! I'm going to tell my hubby I think we are good, and I am within budget which was part of my concern. I knew I could count on the hive to answer this one. :D

[Eliana]

Mazel tov!

I know that there are spending guidelines for everything, but I have never felt they were a useful way to evaluate the suitability of a gift - unless one is giving cash or a gift card, I guess. If it is chosen with care and given with love, it is a wonderful gift... whether it cost $5 or $50 or $500. (imho) So I think you are fine, my dear!

My daughters each received gifts with a wide range of financial value (cash and gift card amounts ranged from $18 on up - $36 was the most common amount.), but all were chosen with our daughters' interests and personalities in mind. The girls both felt, however, that the greatest gift was the presence of their loved ones, and I'm sure your niece will feel the same way! By being there with her at this time of transition and celebration, you are telling her how much she means to you and that you will be there for her as an adult-in-process. Your loving gift will be icing on the cake, and cherished, I am sure, for itself and for what it represents.

[Zee]

O.k., thank you. :)

[Zee]

That is helpful to know what your daughters received. I saw the mutliples of 18 on the websites I searched, and I will have to keep that in mind for my younger niece when the time comes. Unfortuntely, we won't be able to attend the event because we live too far away - but I am sending the gift with my MIL and hopefully, my niece will know that we care about her and will be wishing her the best on her big day. Thanks for the help, Eliana! :)

[LibraryLover]

I think that is a lovely, lovely gift! We typically give gifts that are multiples of 18. There is symbolism involved for some folks with numbers, and 18 means 'life'. It's not necessary, but I like it. For your basic "Go to the party without your parents' my children often give $18 CG to bookstores or music shops. For closer friends, we give something more. If we give GCs, which children often enjoy best, we give in multiples of $18. But that's only for gift checks or CG, of course. A lovely gift such as a pair of gold earring needs no such symbolic number value. :)

[WendyK]

I was invited to one when I was in junior high school. I really had no clue what it was about (nor did my parents). My parents bought (I didn't have much money at 14) her a couple of nice pins (no real anything on them). I felt as if the gift was as appreciated as any other.

[Eliana]

That is helpful to know what your daughters received. I saw the mutliples of 18 on the websites I searched, and I will have to keep that in mind for my younger niece when the time comes. Unfortuntely, we won't be able to attend the event because we live too far away - but I am sending the gift with my MIL and hopefully, my niece will know that we care about her and will be wishing her the best on her big day. Thanks for the help, Eliana! :)

*blush* sorry about the assumption!

Two things that loved ones who couldn't be here did that were really meaningful to my daughters: 1) They had the girls send them copies of their speeches 2) They called either the day before or not too long after the celebration to give their good wishes/congratulations

We had some really, really special people who weren't able to make it to one or the other of the celebrations (a few couldn't make it to either :( ), but we felt as if they were part of it because they sent such loving notes or called and spoke with us... they just felt so *present* in their caring.

And, as Laurie said, the multiples of $18 are really only for GCs or cash, cases in which the recipient knows the amount and can appreciate the symbolism. You're fine! ...and I hope your niece's simcha goes well, and that she brings you much nachas in the coming years!

[Zee]

No need to blush Eliana, as I didn't give indication that I wouldn't be going. :) I'll keep your two suggestions in mind. You've been most helpful!!! :D