Received some rather bad news today, and I'm feeling a bit...

[Crissy]

well, selfish.

My grandmother has cancer. Her test results today show that it is in her stomach, her liver and her colon. I will be spending some time with her tomorrow, and I am certain to learn more details then.

For now, though, my thoughts go something like this: Great grandfather died of stomach cancer (age 70-something), grandmother is just diagnosed at age 82, Cousin died of colon cancer last year before his 50th birthday, Aunt has colon cancer for which she is being treated, Mom has cancer to some unknown degree. That's a lot of cancer in a closely related group.
What does this mean for ME?
I can't possibly wait until age 50 for a colonoscopy (I'm 37), can I? Do I change my diet? Organic foods? More exercise? What am I cleaning my house with that may make me sick in 15 years?

Eek. I feel a little irrational tonight. :eek:
And like I should be focused on my grandmother, not myself. It's just that I've never realized that family connection was so extensive before today.

Surely many of you have a number of such diagnosis in your family. What changes did you make for your health. How do you not get all wigged out over it?

[JudoMom]

well, selfish.

My grandmother has cancer. Her test results today show that it is in her stomach, her liver and her colon. I will be spending some time with her tomorrow, and I am certain to learn more details then.

For now, though, my thoughts go something like this: Great grandfather died of stomach cancer (age 70-something), grandmother is just diagnosed at age 82, Cousin died of colon cancer last year before his 50th birthday, Aunt has colon cancer for which she is being treated, Mom has cancer to some unknown degree. That's a lot of cancer in a closely related group.
What does this mean for ME?
I can't possibly wait until age 50 for a colonoscopy (I'm 37), can I? Do I change my diet? Organic foods? More exercise? What am I cleaning my house with that may make me sick in 15 years?

Eek. I feel a little irrational tonight. :eek:
And like I should be focused on my grandmother, not myself. It's just that I've never realized that family connection was so extensive before today.

Surely many of you have a number of such diagnosis in your family. What changes did you make for your health. How do you not get all wigged out over it?

(((Crissy))) I don't know about changes, but I did want to let you know I heard the other day if you have a family history of colon cancer you shouldn't wait until 50 to get the colonoscopy. I'm sorry you & your family is going through all this :(.

[Angela in TN]

Crissy {{hugs}} to you and I'm so sorry that your going through this. I do want to encourage you to get with your Dr. and get a colonoscopy scheduled. My friend who is 38 now had one a few years ago because her mom also had colon cancer (it went into remission but the cancer has now popped up somewhere else after 6 yrs.). Anyway my friend's colonoscopy was fine but she will continued to be screened because of the risk. Don't wait until your 50 be proactive in dealing with this.

[melissel]

Crissy, I'm so sorry. And I don't think you're being selfish, I think you're experiencing a completely natural reaction to such news. I also don't think you should wait until you're 50 for the colonoscopy, for sure. And, IMO, it's never a bad time to clean up your diet and your living style for many reasons, only one of which is cancer risk. Couldn't hurt, right?

[Blue Hen]

Hugs Crissy, you are going through allot.

When I shared with my Dr. that my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer he insisted that I have a colonoscopy ASAP. I was not yet 50 yo. and thankfully nothing was found but I will have another one in 5yrs.

Do touch base with your Dr and/or your insurance to get them to cover a colonoscopy particularly with a cousin who died from colon cancer before age 50. BTW, my Dad was a huge fruit eater, loved salads, ate lots of vegetables, always had fiber-type breakfast's --- oatmeal, wheat germ, .... he ate very healthy. I'm not sure anyone has determined what causes those polyps to form but one thing is for sure. All colon cancer starts from a colon polyp, although not all polyps will cause cancer.

[Miz Booshay]

Dear Crissy,

I don't think you need to rush into the doc. But the next time you have a physical make sure you speak with him/her as to what is the best way for you to monitor your own situation.

I will pray that you can let go of the fears and that your visit tomorrow is warm and lovely.

Love,
Donna

[Amy in Orlando]

Oh Crissy - I hope you and your grandmother have a good visit tomorrow. My mother's family has a similar history and my doctor (as well as my brother's and sister's doctors) all encourage us to have a colonoscopy before age 45 and regularly thereafter, depending on the results. I imagine your doctor will encourage you to do the same. FWIW, I don't think you sound selfish at all, just being practical. ((((()))))

[Mama Lynx]

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}} to you, Crissy.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Crissy, I'm so sorry about your grandma. Big hugs to you.

I have the same issues in my family. I listen very carefully to my digestive system. Reducing stress, eating tons of fiber, and yeah, I'll have a colonoscopy in this decade. Any polyps to be removed immediately.

[Elaine]

Dear Crissy,

I don't think you need to rush into the doc. But the next time you have a physical make sure you speak with him/her as to what is the best way for you to monitor your own situation.

I will pray that you can let go of the fears and that your visit tomorrow is warm and lovely.

Love,
Donna

This is good advice. (((Crissy)))

[Brigitte]

Crissy, I am sorry about your grandmother and your other family members. You are not being selfish, you have a family to take care of and your good health is important. Please do not wait until you are 50 to get checked.

Hugs!

[Andie]

((((Crissy))))

I don't think it's selfish. It's normal and human and practical...you have two boys that need you. I think regular checkups and an accelerated schedule for screenings makes perfect sense. My mother has had irregular mammograms, never cancer, and it's been recommended that my sister and I start earlier simply because of that.

I hope you have a good visit.

[cin]

My DH has a family history of Cancer. His maternal Grandmother had colon cancer, his paternal grandmother has had breast cancer (at 85 or so, and survived!) and paternal grandfather had some sort of cancer. AND his dad died from complications of cancer. DH IS going to be getting a colonoscopy soon, at age 42. I bribed him--I would NOT go back to the GYN for my annual until he did :D

There are a few other facts in DHs history that put us at ease a little, and you should probably probe into their lifestyles. DH grandfather did a LOT of furniture refinishing in their basement before we knew you needed ventilation, and before the chemical dangers were lessened. So the family lived with all those toxic fumes, and we think that probably contributed to it. BUT dh WILL take care of himself. Of course, you could be like
me. I was adopted during the close the file and throw away the key era. I have *NO* idea what my medical history is :) Ignorance CAN be bliss.

Hugs to you, and YES, take care of yourself.

[Pster]

Awww Crissy - I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma. ((( hugs )))
I think you are smart to think ahead and be proactive with regards to your health. It isn't selfish. You need to look after you!!

I have been doing a TON of reading / research lately because of what has been going on with dh (in case you missed some of my posts - dr's found a tumor near dh's spine - they think it may be benign but since nothing is ever for sure - I'm making the only changes I can to hopefully have some positive impact on his health.)

Anyway - I've been taking a dietary approach to improve dh's health (it's something "I" can do at home to make a difference). I believe good nutrition can heal the body - or help it move towards healing. Get books from your library about whole foods & juicing & superfoods etc etc.... - all the cancers you mentioned seem to be able to be prevented if not made much better ....by eating good, highly nutritious foods. I have a TON of bks checked out from our library right now that I've been going through. I can get you names of bks you can look into if you are interested.

You don't have to go crazy and switch to an all raw diet or anything like that - but ....it could be useful information and it may change what you do & eat..... even if it happens over time. I have found the information very useful and it has made a huge impact on how we are eating & what I am feeding to dh.

hth!

[Michele in New Zealand]

Crissy, you are not being selfish. You are being very normal!

Colon cancer runs in my husbands family with both sets of grandparents and his Mum having had it. He became a vegetarian and eats a lot of fresh fruit and veg, drinks copious amounts of water and no longer thinks about it. Diet plays a huge part in preventing and treating cancer and all sorts of illnesses. We also eat mainly organic foods (not just because of the colon cancer history!), sugar is rare in our house (although my daughter has just baked with a LOT of it!) do not use chemicals in our home, excercise etc.

Just a thought - Have you ever been tested for celiac disease? It can be asymptomatic and left untreated can develop into stomach and colon cancers. It often runs in families too. When you do go to the Dr and discuss your worries, mention this to him. Some Dr's are more into it than others, but it could be interesting to see what he says.

I am very sorry to hear about your Grandma.

Big hugs! :) Michele in New Zealand.

[Crissy]

Thank you. Every single one of you.

I will look into each of your recommendations, and I will be speaking to my doctor. He is a family friend, and very easy to talk to. And I know he will be honest and helpful with all of this.

Until then, I'm going to bed early and looking forward to spending a quiet day with my grandmother tomorrow.

[Mamagistra]

(((Crissy)))...may you be well-blessed tomorrow as you enjoy your grandmother's company.

[Amy in NY]

Hi Crissy. My dh's sister was diagnosed with rectal CA at 38 and his whole family had to get screened, parents included, and then will have to be re-screened every 5 years thereafter. I believe that is the current recommendation.

As for such a strong family history of cancer, I have a friend who, at 40, was accepted to an oncology practice as a patient even though she hadn't been diagnosed with cancer yet. Her mother's entire family - brothers and sisters - all had either prostate, breast, or ovarian cancer and her mom died of a very aggressive strain of breast cancer herself. The sentiment was that my friend will get be diagnosed at some point so this was a pro-active way to hopefully catch it early and maybe even prevent it. She was advised on changes that she could make that would lower her risk. While you may not need to meet with an oncologist, I would recommened reading up on things that you can do - diet, vitamins, exercise - to help keep your risk lower.

HTH and I hope that your visit goes well.

Amy

[DKinTX]

Crissy,

I'm so sorry about your grandmother and the rest of your family who have cancer, and for your fears. {{{hugs}}} I wish I had some advice.

[WTMCassandra]

(((Crissy))) I don't think you are selfish at all--just forward-thinking and prudent. I think your plan to both talk to your family physician and just go "love on*" your grandmother tomorrow are excellent decisions.

*a south-eastern expression that seems to really fit here

[Patty Joanna]

Dear Crissy--

I naturally come down on the "practical" side--you have information, so work with it.

But I also think it would be very interesting to hear what your grandma has to say. Why don't you ask HER? If she were in your shoes, with what you have available to you, what would she tell you to do?

Life is pretty cool. I'd err on the side of keeping it. And using the information you have. Unless the cure is worse than the disease. Hmmm. Colonoscopy vs. cancer. Chemo vs. raw carrots. (I'm being a bit of a jerk, but only doing it to make my point, OK?)

And if you are feeling a bit irrational, that's ok. I think that is just the right response to cancer. It's irrational. Ask me about a little 2yo boy that is dealing with it. If you think of it, pray for Ben. Pray that he makes 3.

And you know what else? Remember that God is good, and He is good all the time. And you -- and your grandma -- are in His good, good hands.

Kind regards,
Patty

[nancypants]

First off, Crissy, I'm so sorry for all of the suffering in your family. :( Second, I don't think you are being selfish at all. You are actually being totally reasonable.

First off, I think it would probably be a great idea to make an appt. with your family physician to talk about your very valid concerns and ask for his/her advice. They might suggest an early colonoscopy and perhaps make it a routine (every five years maybe?) type of scenario. I can't say that I know they will do this... sort of depends how much your doctor is really into preventative medicine I suppose. But it's worth asking right. (And as much as a colonoscopy isn't a walk in the park, I'm sure you of all people realize that it would be worth it to find something early.) This procedure would probably be to a person in your family as important as routine mammograms for a person in a family where breast cancer is prevalent.

My husband's family has a strong history of various forms of cancer. His grandfather died of brain cancer. His aunt died of mouth/tongue/jaw cancer and his mother has been fighting breast cancer for years and years -- and will probably never be able to stop fighting it. In their cases it's hard to really know what was the primary cause of their various cancers. They all lived and/or worked in the heart of Houston, very near all of the refineries, etc... which I'm sure did nothing good for their health. But then, one of them smoked for 60 years too. They all have/had less than healthy diets... His mom for instance doesn't eat sugar (well... not desserts anyways) but doesn't really eat any vegetables either.

He has talked to our doctor and she, at this points, just recommends a balanced diet rich in foods like broccoli, avocados, cabbage, brussel sprouts and other cancer fighting foods.(here (http://www.cancure.org/cancer_fighting_foods.htm) is a good overview of cancer fighting foods) And coming in for regular yearly check ups so that any changes would be more easily identified.

I think your fears and concerns are warranted and I think that thinking now about what you can do to fight cancer on the front end is something that not enough people make plans to do so you are already ahead of the game.

((hugs))

[Janna]

(((Crissy)))...I completely understand what you're going through.

First of all, if you're selfish, than I'm selfish too. But mainly, I think, like everyone else pointed out, that it's a normal reaction. What people call a "wake-up call". While it may seem selfish at the time, it's very necessary to help you for yourself, but also for your boys, kwim?

My father has had 2 different types of cancer - colon and breast, as well as diabetes. My aunt has breast cancer and my cousin has thyroid cancer. All on my father's side.

When my dad was first diagnosed and had his surgery (for the colon), it was the turning point for me. My "wake up call" if you will. I panicked. It's interesting that you started this thread today because just last night I had a very long conversation with my parents over the phone and told them exactly this. I told them that my wake up call was after his surgery. I have since been very attuned to nutrition. And I have been wigged out. I still do get wigged out over it. It's a very difficult, and dare I say, spiritual, battle for me. It has been for some time. While I read about, talk to people about, learn about how nutrition affects us, it can leave me full of anxiety for my future as well as my children's (not to mention my dh's whose diet is horrid and has zero conviction about it). But then I can't help but be brought back down and told, in that still, small voice, that God is sovereign in all things. It's been a daily walk in learning how to keep balanced.

That being said, there is a book that my dad and I talked extensively about last night and I picked it up from the library today. It's called The China Study (http://www.amazon.com/China-Study-Comprehensive-Nutrition-Implications/dp/1932100385). It's supposedly the most comprehensive study done to date on the links between nutrition and heart disease, cancer and diabetes. This might interest you and could be helpful. I plan on starting it tonight.

Again, (((Hugs)) to you. Enjoy your time, your precious, God-given time, with your beautiful grandmother tomorrow. Peace to you.

[OnTheBrink]

I'm really sorry about your grandmother.

As for your concerns, you're not selfish. It's much better to do what you can to prevent right now, than try to treat later. Something my oncologist told me when I had melanoma is that all of us have cancer cells in our bodies. Every single person. They go haywire when our immune systems are weakened. Immune systems can weaken due to stress, poor diet, toxins, etc. Obviously, it's nearly impossible to be stress-free, eat perfectly and avoid all toxins, but finding ways to reduce stress (anxiety!), eat as healthy as you can (organic when and if you can, filtered water, eliminate or greatly reduce sugar. Cancer feeds on sugar, as does other bacteria) and stay away from smoking and any other chemical toxins as much as possible. Also, exercise is great.

Larry Burkett wrote a great book about surviving cancer when he was diagnosed with a rare kidney cancer. He was chock full of good ideas for healthy living and, he outlived his cancer prognosis by a good 10 years. He eventually died of a hereditary heart disease, not cancer! So, do what you can to be as healthy as you can without going nutty over it. Even Larry said no one can do everything, so any positive change is better than they way it was before.

I hope your visit with your grandma is lovely.

[Michele in New Zealand]

I completely second The China Study. Brilliant book and very balanced. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

No advice, Crissy. Just good thoughts and prayers for your family.

[WTMindy]

(((Crissy))) I'm praying your time with your Grandma will be very very sweet! Enjoy that champaigne!!!

[sdWTMer]

Oh my goodness. It is sooooo very hard to see them go this way! I can completely understand. I'm so sorry.

Man, the tears are flowing now! I haven't cried this much for my grandma in a while. :(

Check your messages.

[HomeOnTheRanch]

(((Crissy)))

No other advice, but I'm sending peace and prayers your way!