I sure could use a makeover!

[Julpost]

I wear makeup, I do my hair, I try to dress nicely....but I am always just shocked at how horrible I look when I catch a glimpse of myself out in public! I don't know if it's the lighting in my house (too soft perhaps?) or I'm rushing around and can't really see myself.

And I'm not being too hard on myself....I'm being honest. I really do look terrible.

The problem is....we are desperately trying to get caught up on bills and hopefully pay off credit cards right now. It would be a crunch just to get a haircut even, never mind nicer clothes or new makeup. I splurged on mascara at Costco yesterday and boy, was I excited to put it on today! :-)

I'm really not trying to gripe, I'm just looking for advice. I think it might be stress, I look very wild-eyed. I didn't realize it, wouldn't have thought it, until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror while taking my dd shopping. I almost felt like I didn't recognize myself. I looked like I had been crying or something. Of course, by then, I FELT like I could cry! I'm only 35 yo, I wouldn't have thought I'd go downhill so quickly!

1. I'd pluck my brows because I've read it's almost the equivalent of a facelift....but if I mess up-I can't even go there!

2. I'd curl my hair but it takes FOREVER!

3. I'd buy new makeup colors but as I mentioned before....I'm broke!

4. I've bought clothes at consignment shops but they seem to look worse on me when I get home. I don't understand that at all!

5. I'd buy new shoes (I've been wearing mine for the past 5 years) but see #2.

6. I guess I could take seriously the 10-15 lbs. I could stand to lose-I depend far too heavily on my old comfort foods. There must be a better way to handle stress.

My whole body aches and I'm dying to take a bath. But a toddler and baby seem to make that impossible. I could ask my dh to watch them but he's downstairs relaxing himself.

I also struggle with how much I should even worry about this. I believe Jesus said not to worry about what we wear or eat. I wonder if this is even all worth the thought I'm putting into it. Should I just accept this and do what I can when I can? I just hate feeling so unattractive.

[Amy in Orlando]

1. I'd pluck my brows because I've read it's almost the equivalent of a facelift....but if I mess up-I can't even go there!

2. I'd curl my hair but it takes FOREVER!

3. I'd buy new makeup colors but as I mentioned before....I'm broke!

4. I've bought clothes at consignment shops but they seem to look worse on me when I get home. I don't understand that at all!

5. I'd buy new shoes (I've been wearing mine for the past 5 years) but see #2.

6. I guess I could take seriously the 10-15 lbs. I could stand to lose-I depend far too heavily on my old comfort foods. There must be a better way to handle stress.

My whole body aches and I'm dying to take a bath. But a toddler and baby seem to make that impossible. I could ask my dh to watch them but he's downstairs relaxing himself.


First of all, work in some tub-time for yourself. I'm sure dh will come to appreciate the relaxed, nice-smelling you as a serious benefit to giving up a bit of his own "relaxing" time.

1) Do you have a Great Clips or some similar inexpensive hair cut place near you? They can wax your eyebrows for about $10 (including tip). It really is amazing how much of a difference it can make. I'm blonde, and an eyebrow wax will last me 6-7 weeks. That's just over $1 per week to really look good. My dh notices when I get my eyebrows waxed more than if I get a dramatic new haircut.

As far as clothes and hair go, if you have cable, it's worth watching a few episodes of What Not To Wear. I don't love the show, but I've learned a lot about how to pick out clothing and hairstyles that are flattering to ME. Now, when I go to thrift stores, I know to look for xx types of shirts, xx colors, etc. It narrows down the search and keeps me from buying what I'd "love" to wear but what will never work for me.

One book I really liked (when we were in your shoes - little, demanding kids, long work hours, paying down debt) was Simple Abundance. I didn't like it all, but some of her suggestions were so practical and helpful to me. For instance, keep a notebook and tape or glue in pictures from magazines or the paper of clothing you really like for several months. Even if it's something you would never wear in real life, if you like the picture keep it. You'll see a pattern emerging and it really helps you define what sort of look you want. (This works for hairstyels, shoes, AND decorating your house, btw)

Hang in there. With a toddler AND A baby, you're bound to look and feel frazzled sometimes. And, I think most of us are surprised when we see ourselves in the mirror - especially in a store when you're shopping with short people. ((()))

[Tami]

First of all, I feel you pain. I started working out, eating right, and paying attention to my looks when I turned 36, and now at age 38, I WISH I HAD DONE IT SOONER!

Do you have cable? I have learned how to dress my body to it's best advantage from What Not to Wear!!! If not, you can watch episodes online. Look for a participant that has a simliar body type as you. I can't say enough good things about this show. Now that I know what is flattering for my body, shopping is a snap!

Accept your body as it is TODAY. Don't worry about what size you are. Look for clothes that fit well and show off your body's best features while de-emphasizing problem areas. Most women can wear dark, straight leg pants and A-line skirts well. Next, look for tops that emphasize your smallest part (your waist) with a structured seam such as Empire waist right beneath the bust. I think of a richly-colored little wrap shirt with a cute camisole underneath, and a straight leg pair of dark, neutral pants. Put with a cute pair of shoes and perhaps one accessory such as a long, interesting necklace. Consider pairing structured, fitted blazers and collared shirts with your jeans instead of shapeless Mommy sweaters.:cool:

Get a haircut. Seriously.

Moisturize your face twice a day and drink 6 glasses of water a day.

Get going on that exercise routine!

Get new makeup. I recommend a neutral 4-color eye shadow palette (L'Oreal has nice ones) with matte colors and a good mascara. LOSE the pencil eyeliner (very OL -- old lady) and use an angle brush to lightly apply eyeshadow as liner. Use a concealer under your eyes to look younger (I like L'Oreal's Feel Natural one-step foundation or Everyday Minerals foundation available online). Use a light colored pink or peach gloss, instead of a dark lipstick, which is OL -- old lady. Basically, after age 30 or so, lighten up the make-up and go for matte colors. Use light glosses rather than lipsticks which emphasize fine lines.

I believe that keeping ourselves attractive and in good shape is a ministry not only to ourselves, but our husbands. I blogged about this just this week on my Date Night Challenge post. LOL! What timing.

Also, when I go out looking like a slob, what message am I sending to those around me? Taking care of ourselves should be a priority every day. Budget a little money for cosmetics, clothing, or hair care every month. I got by on $15 a month carefully shopping at thrift stores and building my make-up/clothing wardrobe slowly with Good Things.

I wish you all the best. You go, girl!

[Brigitte]

I can relate. I am going through the same thoughts myself these days (turned 40 in Nov.). One thing I have started doing on a regular basis is plucking my eyebrows. You really can't go wrong. Trust me you will not over pluck. Or, if you can get $10 bucks together, get them waxed "professionally" to get the right shape, etc. and pluck weekly to maintain them. If I let mine go, I will get a waxing and go back to plucking after that. I end up waxing once or twice a year.

The weight thing has me a bit bummed right now. I have not been running much since this summer and it really shows. Muscle has gotten flabby and I have added an extra 5-7 lbs. It doesn't seem like a lot, but I can see it in my face. So, I have resolved to run three days a week and get to the gym for light weights and the stationary bike two days, AND to quit snacking like I have been. I am a stress eater. I need sweets to get through tough times. Now I need to go back to fat free sweets (Good and Plentys, Twizzlers, etc) and put them somewhere where I have to really think before I grab.

And finally, my hair.....I need a good cut. I was trying to get it long again, but I have realized that my current face shape and age needs a softer look. So, I am going with Amy's suggestion of looking for pictures of a look that suits me. I will take them to a cheepie hair cut place and hope for the best, because I need it sooner rather than later.

As for the make-up problem, I just bought new mascara and it runs on my lower lids. Great, just what I need more black under my eyes! I even bought the Great Lash everyone seems to rave about. My only hope there is that I meet someone who sells Mary Kay and she is willing to barter Usb. books for makeup. haha. Right at the moment, the make-up and skin care thing is a big obstacle for me. Maybe we can get free samples from Sylvester Stallone's wife's new company Seriesse? Maybe someone here will have a solution for us.....

Money is tight here, too. Property taxes and Christmas come at the same time and dh will be leaving his job in June. So, I can't spend money on needless things now. But, I do feel that spending a little bit of cash on my appearance right now is a real necessity. How we feel about ourselves has a huge impact on our lives and our family life. Neglecting ourselves is not doing anyone any good.

Let's make a pact to work on this.

[Tami]

I love Carmindy's 5 Minute Face ideas (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EpD3Z9RJRU). Her make-up techniques are easy and result in a fresh, natural look.

[Brigitte]

I love Carmindy's 5 Minute Face ideas (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EpD3Z9RJRU). Her make-up techniques are easy and result in a fresh, natural look.

Okay, it is time for someone to recommend us for the show. Who is it going to be? I promise I won't be angry that someone suggested me for the show. :D

[Cindy in C-ville]

Oh, Brigitte, I know I haven't seen you in a while, but Honey, you are GORGEOUS! Beautiful bone structure, radiant skin, natural beauty, ,etc. This time of year I particularly feel like I need a lift. Good haircuts, good skincare, exercising, water - all good stuff, but don't sell yourself short. You're a babe - no doubt about it!

Warmly,
Cindy

[Julpost]

Thanks for all the replies....it's good to have support! :-)

This is my plan (I can't believe I've been thinking about and working on this for almost 3 hours tonight.....that's been fun and relaxing in itself!) here is what I've come up with:

1. I found a good tip online for a flattering ponytail-wear it up high and make sure the sides are pulled just a little tighter to keep the height on top. My new ponytail looks so....spunky! NO IMMEDIATE NEED FOR HAIRCUT! Hurray!!

2. Thanks to the Carmindy video, I'm going to sell a few books (I sell my used books on Amazon) and use the money to order a highlighter product she recommended for around the eyes. That should lighten up my eyes (hopefully get rid of that perpetual tired, stressed out look I evidently wear-even my poor ds has asked me why I look so mad, when I'm not the least mad at all) and enhance the eye area without needing to wear eyeshadow everyday. That video was awesome!

3. Yes, I'm going to stop procrastinating on this exercise thing and try to at the very least, get on the treadmill for 15 min. everyday. There's really no excuse for me not to. I could put the baby in the playpen, the toddler in front of the TV, and walk right there in the family room. No driving to the gym, no child care, no need to pack anything, or worry about what I'm wearing.

4. I will attempt to start the clothing notebook that was mentioned. I don't know what my ideal style is but I'll start looking into it. I have watched the What Not to Wear video clips online (I don't have cable) several times over....I wish they'd put new ones on. Maybe I'll peruse their books at the bookstore.

This should keep me busy for awhile. Yes, I like the idea of working on this together. We should check in with each other periodically to see how we are all doing. Too bad we can't have our own board....it could be called the Health and Beauty Board! :-)

Thanks again everyone. I'm feeling very hopeful and optimistic!

[Brigitte]

Way to go Julpost! I think a good attitude is the biggest help in appearance. It makes you smile more and that always makes us look better.

I'm rooting for you!

[Chris in CA]

I believe that keeping ourselves attractive and in good shape is a ministry not only to ourselves, but our husbands. I blogged about this just this week on my Date Night Challenge post. LOL! What timing. - Tami


I love this Tami, so true. Whenever I feel guilty about spending money on myself, I try to remember it's for my dh too : )

[Brigitte]

Oh, Brigitte, I know I haven't seen you in a while, but Honey, you are GORGEOUS! Beautiful bone structure, radiant skin, natural beauty, ,etc. This time of year I particularly feel like I need a lift. Good haircuts, good skincare, exercising, water - all good stuff, but don't sell yourself short. You're a babe - no doubt about it!

Warmly,
Cindy

But, the past year/6 months have been stressful and have definitely taken their toll. More sleep, more exercise, more water, less fattening food, and a good haircut really are in order right now. I just wish I could get good ole Thomy (yes, he does spell it that way) to cut my hair, but who can book a hair appt out of town 6 months in advance?!:eek:

So, on that note, I am going to bed!

Brigitte

[Tami]

Raid your kitchen and give yourself a natural facial! If you have baking soda, olive oil, and honey on hand, you can give your face a lift this week-end for free! See post at my blog.

[Brigitte]

Raid your kitchen and give yourself a natural facial! If you have baking soda, olive oil, and honey on hand, you can give your face a lift this week-end for free! See post at my blog.

Where is your blog? Link please?!:p

[Tami]

Hi Brigitte!

If you click on member's names, our webpage (blog) link is there. Here it is:
http://amblesideclassical.blogspot.com/

I did one this afternoon, and my skin feels sooooo soft!

[Brigitte]

Hi Brigitte!

If you click on member's names, our webpage (blog) link is there. Here it is:
http://amblesideclassical.blogspot.com/

I did one this afternoon, and my skin feels sooooo soft!

I will have to try this tomorrow. I have felt the need for a good facial for months now. Thanks so much!