Help! I desperately WANT to enjoy my toddler and baby....m

[Julpost]

But they are driving me crazy!!

More accurately, it's my out of control house and lack of sleep that are making me a not-very-nice mom. I'm caught in a cycle of get up, get the older 3 kids to school, get dressed, run errands with 2 younger kids (because I can't stay home since I don't accomplish anything anyway), get home, pick up a little bit, the older 3 kids get home as the house is being trashed by the toddler (who just turned 3 today...so does that make her a preschooler?), I am the exhausted mother who tries to pull dinner together as I kick things out of the way so I don't trip and after dinner, if I'm lucky, I get the kitchen cleaned up before bed. Often though the dishes remain there until the next day.

I know the older 3 should help more. They help pick up and sometimes do extra chores around the house. I just don't ask them to do too much because they usually have homework and need some down time themselves.

I know I should get the house cleaned up before I go to bed so I wake up and am not bombarded right off the bat with a disaster...while trying to care for a baby and 3yo.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Am I supposed to be cleaning 24/7 to have a decent house. I just feel like no matter how much I do, it's never enough and then I give up for a day or two because I'm just too exhausted.

I've tried flylady....I find a routine impossible because of the unpredictability of the baby and 3 yo. But I am so tired of being tired and living in a house of chaos!

HELP, HELP, HELP!!

[amy g.]

My advice won't help you.

I just say, "Fiddle DE DE. Tomorrow is another day." and leave the house alone.

I really can't do it all, so I hold my baby, and play with her in her room, try to teach my olders a little every day, and cook a couple of times a week.

They can make a sandwich, or cook an egg for themselves. I refuse to turn myself into some run down, screaming mom just for the sake of housework.

This is why my Christmas tree is still up.

I wish I could be more helpful.

[Queen_Zarga]

This is why my Christmas tree is still up.

LOL! Me too! And I don't have as many little ones as the OP.

Sorry Julpost. I don't have any advice, but I feel for ya.

[Mx5]

I know the older 3 should help more. They help pick up and sometimes do extra chores around the house. I just don't ask them to do too much because they usually have homework and need some down time themselves.



I was where you are at, except all 5 of my kids were home all day. I was very stressed, and felt like everything I did was done in a mediocre, survival manner. I complained to my husband about it. His response? "Put the kids to work!" It is amazing to me how much even a little helps if each child does something. For instance, just having the kids load and unload the dishwasher, and clear the table after dinner is such a huge help. It doesn't stress the kids - they do fine. We started this when my oldest child was probably 10, but we could have started sooner.

Your kids could do this, too, while you lay on the couch or watch the news with your hubby. Your kids will not be too stressed from homework to help in these small ways.

Also, I got into the habit of rotating toys. I have huge rubbermaid type containers FILLED with toys. Only a couple are available at a time. This greatly cuts down on clutter.

I try to keep 1 room clean all the time. The way our house is set up, people enter in a foyer, and to the left is a living room. I keep the living room in order all the time. But walk to the back of the house and you'll see where we have that "lived in" look. So what? We do live here. I try also to have the powder room off the foyer clean and sparkling all the time, in case the Lord sends someone by who needs to make use of it.

Add 5 years to your kids ages, and you'll be dealing with completely different issues. Hang on - all this passes - all of it. In the meantime, you be in control of your own temper, tongue, and tone. I grew up in a home where my mom was always stressing about the condition of the house. I remember my home always being in order, but mom never being happy. :( I didn't want my kids to grow up with that.