Teenagers who can only remember one thing at a time ...

[Luanne]

(or anyone for that matter) ...

My daughter (age 19) can only remember one thing at a time. If I verbally tell her two or more tasks to do, she only remembers to do one. I don't think she intentionally doesn't do the second or third thing I say. I usually try to keep it to only two tasks at a time, but it still seems like only the first one I mention gets done. The other thing she has taken to doing is forgetting what she is doing when she is doing it (example ... she is in the shower, but just stands there letting the water run over her and never washes anything). What's with this anyway?

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

(or anyone for that matter) ...

My daughter (age 19) can only remember one thing at a time. If I verbally tell her two or more tasks to do, she only remembers to do one. I don't think she intentionally doesn't do the second or third thing I say. I usually try to keep it to only two tasks at a time, but it still seems like only the first one I mention gets done. The other thing she has taken to doing is forgetting what she is doing when she is doing it (example ... she is in the shower, but just stands there letting the water run over her and never washes anything). What's with this anyway?

About the shower: Is she ill?

And forgive me for asking, but I just want to know before I hazard an answer (and possibly I won't have one, but forgive me still), is she developmentally delayed?

[Luanne]

About the shower: Is she ill?

And forgive me for asking, but I just want to know before I hazard an answer (and possibly I won't have one, but forgive me still), is she developmentally delayed?


The shower thing has been going on for a few months now. She didn't use to do that. I don't know that she is developmentally delayed ... other than she was abused growing up. She has been to a lot of therapy and seems to be happy most of the time now at least.

[Ottakee]

Can you tell us more? Is this a sudden change in behavior for her? Has she always been like this? Is she your birth child or adopted? Any other learning challenges?

I have lots of ideas but without more information, it is hard for me to give you some direction---and I don't want to offend or be way off base either.

[Plaid Dad]

You've said before that your dd is "hyper" - is it possible she is distracted when you give her instructions? I often forget things that have been said to me when I'm deep in thought about something else; I just filter out anything that isn't on task for the moment. People will also something forget things they aren't motivated to remember or are subconsciously trying to avoid because the task is unpleasant. If you're asking her to do things that she dislikes, that may figure in.

Have you tried teaching her how to make to-do lists, or leaving her notes about things that need doing?

[Closeacademy]

Have you tried giving her a to-do list? Maybe posting it in a prominent place where things can be checked off as she gets them done? I know this won't help with the shower but it might help with other things.

Although, you could post a laminated list in the bathroom listing the order that you wash. Just an idea to help keep her on track.

I know I forget everything if it isn't written down.:001_smile:

[Doran]

Can you tell us more? Is this a sudden change in behavior for her? Has she always been like this? Is she your birth child or adopted? Any other learning challenges?

I have lots of ideas but without more information, it is hard for me to give you some direction---and I don't want to offend or be way off base either.


I agree with Pam and Ottakee. More detail about her behavior would be most helpful. I will say, though, that I, too would be concerned by the things you describe from a 19 year old.

((Luanne))

[homewithtrinity]

My daughter also just stands in the shower with out washing anything. When I asked her, she told me it was because it was the only quiet place to think in a house full of people.

The forgetting what you ask, I get that with both of my teens and with the youth group at church. They are usually thinking about things and are not listening carefully.

That is what I have seen in teens around me. Hope this helps.

[Claire]

My daughter (age 19) can only remember one thing at a time. If I verbally tell her two or more tasks to do, she only remembers to do one. I don't think she intentionally doesn't do the second or third thing I say. I usually try to keep it to only two tasks at a time, but it still seems like only the first one I mention gets done.

This is typical of someone with an auditory processing disorder. It interferes with development of auditory memory, especially sequential auditory memory. People with this problem have great difficulty with verbal multi-step directions.

Usually there are other symptoms that go along with APD. Depending on the APD subtype, there may be difficulty learning to read, difficulty with social skills, difficulty hearing in the presence of background noise, difficulty participating in group conversations, symptoms of attention deficit disorder, etc.

If you Google "auditory processing disorder" you will find websites that describe the symptoms and subtypes, so you can see if it fits your dd.

For auditory sequential memory, the therapy most like to help would be PACE (http://www.processingskill.com) or LearningRx (http://www.learningrx.com). If there are also difficulties with background noise and/or conversation, these programs may not be particularly effective unless FastForWord (http://www.fastforword.com) is done first. (Although FFW is generally used for reading difficulties, it actually is aimed at training the brain to process the sounds of speech more efficiently. It also works on training auditory memory.)

Of course, many adults with this type of problem simply learn to compensate.

[KidsHappen]

I have always been somewhat ditzy but it is definitely getting worse with age. I would assume that she is not getting senile though!

Is this a new behavior? Is she under any new or cumlative stress in her life? A lot of things that could be on her mind? School, a job, growing up? Does she seem distracted by something or is she just spacey? Are you worried or just exasperated?

I would talk to her about it and then if either of you are concerned make an appt. with primary care physician. Otherwise, I would just work on it a little (make a list, have her repeat your requests, "remind" her to concentrate and pay attention, etc.) and take a wait and see approach.