Homeschooled son wants to go to local public school

[rose2]

My son who has never been to a regular school wants to go to the local public school. He is almost 16 years old. He would be going into the 11th grade.
I really don't want him to go, He says he would like to have the "public school experience" That dosen't really sound like a very good reason to me.
I had that experience when I was in public school and didn't think it was so great. Being made fun of , peer dependence, fights, being pigeon holed by teachers, wasting time , ect.
Anyway this son is very bright , but in the last year has become somewhat disrespectful.
The public school here is not very big and really dosen't have much to offer. No AP courses that I could find out about,
We have been active in a homeschool tutoring service and homeschool scouts so he dosen't even have any friends who attend this school.
I offered to send him to community college to take a few courses. But he says he dosen't want to do that.

He did just have a good friend go back to public school ( but its a different district about 30 miles from here.) I wonder if thats what is fueling his request.

I have homeschool graduated 7 of my eleven children so far. They all have been able to go to any college they wanted to. They are doing well.

One of his older sisters says I should let him go but make him do all of the work of finding out how to enroll, ect. She says if he really wants to go he will do the research needed to enroll. It could also be that he wouldn't want to go if he has to work it out for himself. She also suggests if he goes that he should have to stay for the entire year whether he wants to or not. She may be right but if it is bad experience I really wouldn't want to keep him in it.

I don't know how it would be having one in the public school and trying to keep up with the 3 who would be left schooling here at home. I think it would be very hard to be involved at the public school .

I don't know how people do that.
Neither my husband or I want him to go , but he is getting older and perhaps we should let him have some say in the decision.

What do any of you think? Any advice?
Rose2

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

What do any of you think? Any advice?
Rose2

Hmm. Well, at that age, I think I'd let him own the decision, but the point might be moot. Not many schools will let a homeschooler enter in 11th grade. They start back in 9th at the very beginning, perhaps allowing Algebra I as credit.

[elbac]

Well, I like the idea of making him research on his own what will be required for him not only to enroll in public school, but to enroll at his current grade level. Guidelines vary so much, it could just be a matter of him testing out at grade level (or above) to enter 11th grade, and also have the requirements needed for graduation. Or as the previous poster said, they may not recognize some/any of the courses he's already done - in which case I would think the whole wanting to go to public school issue would likely become a moot point.

[JFS in IL]

My ds is now a sophomore at our local public school - BUT I was able to enroll him as a freshman, and put him in Honors English and AP World History - he is again in Honors Eng. and AP Euro this year. He will tell you that there are a lot of "jerks" in non-honors/AP classes, and some of the classes he is required to take (Health, for example) the kids treat as a joke (even if the teacher does not). If there are no AP or Honors courses at your local high school - don't bother. If you can dig some up - a dedicated Honors instructor, and kids who are interested in the course, can make up for the rest of the day.

[rose2]

I had realized that it would be hard for him to get in at 11th grade too. Maybe that will be a deterent. I don't know how the school works in admissions. I had thought it may be difficult wih counting our credits and that he would be put back in either 9th or 10th grade. That would be a waste of time.
Maybe my son will see this, also the school starts at 7:40 which would be early for him. He's used to sleeping in a little later on most days.
Thanks for your comments, I do appreciate them.
:001_smile: Rose2

[Susan in TX]

I'd let him go with the understanding that he can come back to homeschooling at any time if he doesn't like public school, and that you will pull him out of public school if he doesn't get good grades or has behavior problems.

I have two in public high school and I'm homeschooling the younger 5. It really isn't hard to homeschool and have children in public high school. There is very little required of parents as far as public school involvement at the high school level.

My teens have really enjoyed public school and they have gotten an excellent education there as well.

Susan in TX

[elbac]

My teens have really enjoyed public school and they have gotten an excellent education there as well.


I'm very glad that has been your experience. You're obviously fortunate enough to live in an area with a good public school system, which is great.

That said, our decision to homeschool came after a move cross country, and into a district that was not at all what I had ever experienced before. The expectations I had, from both my own public school experience, and that of the school my children had attended prior to our move, left me utterly disappointed with what we found here. Ironically, most of the local folks don't see a problem with the school, mostly because - as several have told me - it's how it was when they attended.

Anyhow, my point is, if you are not already aware of the quality of the school, research as best you can, ideally from as many un-biased people as you can. If you aren't able to get the information you need to feel informed, and if you do decide to let ds attend, I would suggest having very clear guidelines as to what your expectations are - both from him, and the classes he will be taking. Then if you don't like what you see, it's back home schooling.

[HS mom]

Can't really make the decision without all the facts, and having him gather the facts necessary is a good idea. Brainstorm all the things you need to know to make an informed decision, and who you can speak to to get further information should you want it. After he has that for you, you can go from there, with facts to discuss.

You're right in mentioning how having one in public school will affect your day to day life. It is time consuming. And that is a consideration in his attendance, and should be part of the converstaion (IMHO), should you get past the fact finding missions. He's part of a family, and one member affects the whole. He's receiving an education at home, and that's been shown, by the older children, to work well. The CC option is really a great offer (and really more sensible).

Think you have to get a clear idea of his goals, and work backward from there, to see how HS classes at the school will fit in in comparison to all the other options.

Wish you well.

[Karin]

I think having him do all the research is an excellent idea, particularly the part about whether or not they'll let him enroll in Gr. 11 or not. Some places will let you. This is a tough age, but some do need to learn things the "hard" way. I'd give him the option of coming back home if he doesn't like it, but make him write you a well thought out letter explaining why he doesn't like it and how he'll act and work if he returns to homeschooling. In fact, having him research the ps info and write you a good letter explaining why he wants to go and what he expects to gain isn't a bad idea, either. However, this suggestion is given without knowing the exact particulars of that school, etc.

I feel for you, particularly since you've already graduated 7, but as you must already know, each child is different and I think each child needs to be considered separately from the rest (as well as together.)

[Sue in St Pete]

Is it possible for the both of you to "shadow" a student for the day? You might test the waters by making him responsible for arranging for the two of you to shadow for a day. That might nip his desire in the bud right away.

[rose2]

:001_smile:I do love the advice you are all giving to me. I hadn't thought about shadowing for a day.
I do have a neighbor whose daughter did go to this school for many years but in the last 2 years decided she couldn't take it anymore and is homeschooled. She is in 12th grade now.
I need to ask her about what the trouble was. I have never asked her but when her daughter was much younger my neighbor did ask me about homeschooling and said that they were not happy with the bus pick up and drop off situation and something else (can't remember what it was though)
But she did not homeschool until the daughter was in 11th grade.

The school is small ,class C, and it is the only choice around here.
I don't know of any specific problems, except sometimes you hear rumors, such as its (the highschool) in total lock down because of students bringing guns to school. It is also ranked about 450th out of about 620 public schools in this state according to one school ranking website. They just got rid of the Valedictorian, Salutatorian honors, like many public highschools have done. They don't want to make anyone feel bad I guess.

This is a very rural area. My older children joke with their friends that they are from an "Amish ,redneck "area. It is and I am not saying I don't enjoy it. We have many wonderful Amish and "redneck" neighbors and friends here.
I just don't really want my son to go to school in the public system.
I think I will go with telling him to get the info for himself.
He just went on a Boy Scout Venture outing this weekend which is 90% homeschoolers and he always has a good time with them so I will not say anything more about it to him until he brings it up.
I am hoping he had such a good time that it may be on his back burner. If he went to the public school he would have to cut back on Scouts too. His reason for wanting to go to public school seemed pretty lame, to me and my husband.
He wanted the "public school experience." I did ask my husband and older son to take him out back every other day and rough him up and steal his lunch money. ;>)
I love reading your helpful comments.
Thank you so much,
Rose2

[mathewsgang]

I have had 3 enter high school at various grades without any problem, but it definitely depends on the school district. My only caution with having him do the footwork is that they may want to deal with the parent not the student, as he is a minor. There are definitely pros and cons to public education, I haven't quite decided which one wins. :)

[Margaret in CO]

Could he take just one or two classes? My dd would ask about going in for her senior year, but she already knows what the answer would be! :D Our compromise is doing sports and she occasionally eats lunch with friends. In CO, she has the opportunity to do one or two classes, but we've opted for college classes instead. I don't want the 5 day a week commitment.

[Teachin'Mine]

If I were going to let him experience high school for himself, I'd be inclined to do it this year instead of next year. That way he can get a small taste of it and hopefully opt out for next year. I can't imagine that going into public school, even a small one, towards the end of the school year would be a positive experience. ;) Am I bad??? :D

Hopefully in the end he'd be grateful to be homeschooling and would have that out of his system and be able to buckle down next year. I wouldn't make him stay one minute longer than he wanted in public school.

[Julie in MN]

I just don't really want my son to go to school in the public system.


In the end, I feel this is the final determiner. It's your responsibility to do what's best for your children right now, before they are adults. Children's interests and ideas can be passing fads and uneducated ideas.

But if you do decide you want to explore options for him, other possibilities would be:
- taking one class at the high school if this is allowed (I wish I wouldn't have done that with my dd, but might consider it for my ds)
- taking an online public-school-type course(s)
- participating in an after-school activity at the public school, such as debate or that business group I can't think of right now or a sport
- asking him to wait a year (or a semester) to see if it's a passing whim
- letting him know the college course is on par with his needs and abilities, and the high school option is absolutely not
- finding something else of interest to him, such as an EMT course, an apprenticeship, a summer camp experience (my dd went to a summer business camp), or a leadership experience (my dd was a sort-of apprentice counselor at a girl scout camp)

[GVA]

Having the "experience" isn't a strong enough reason in this house. The type of high school describe wouldn't be worth the upheaval IMHO.

Here you do it at 9th grade or not at all because they're tough on homeschool credits, and it is hard to graduate on time if you do this later in high school.