Joanne
01-25-2008, 01:35 PM
Here is what I've written for my book:
Kids who are easily distracted, who dawdle often present challenges to parents. Parents typically need to get from point "A" to point "B" efficiently, while also juggling the mental to do list of bills, obligations, work and child related activities. A child who is mesmerized by a tree blowing in the wind, who stops to adjust their doll's cozy bed and who changes her shoes - again - before going to the car can drive a parent to exasperation.
What I found to be the best remedy for everyone involved was to teach the concept of "Mommy Time" and "Kid Time". This approach honors both my need to move along and my child's need to stop and smell the roses. The first thing I did was acknowledge our different approach to life and the world. "Mommy is often in a hurry. You are often wanting to slow down, discover and explore." I let my child know that both of our perspectives are valid and normal and okay. I let my child know that both approaches are needed in life.
We then practiced what "Child Time" looks like. I declared, as a Mom pretending to go somewhere "We are going to the library." My child and I walked around her room, glancing through a picture book. Changing socks. Wandering into the living room we found a puzzle and placed a few more pieces. We took "our time" before we got to the car and buckled safely.
Next, it was a lesson in "Mommy time". I declared "We have to leave for the doctor's office". We got dressed and found our shoes. We were momentarily distracted by the goldfish, but we reminded ourselves we were on "Mommy time". We focused on task again. We made it to the car quickly.
After a few fun practice times, I would include whether I needed something done on "Mommy time" or "Child time" as I issued the information that we needed something done or we needed to leave. I made sure to include plenty of "Child time" leavings and activities so that they were able to focus when Mommy time was needed. Our practice and division of Mommy Time and Child time did not eliminate dawdling frustrations but it helped tremendously.
Kids who are easily distracted, who dawdle often present challenges to parents. Parents typically need to get from point "A" to point "B" efficiently, while also juggling the mental to do list of bills, obligations, work and child related activities. A child who is mesmerized by a tree blowing in the wind, who stops to adjust their doll's cozy bed and who changes her shoes - again - before going to the car can drive a parent to exasperation.
What I found to be the best remedy for everyone involved was to teach the concept of "Mommy Time" and "Kid Time". This approach honors both my need to move along and my child's need to stop and smell the roses. The first thing I did was acknowledge our different approach to life and the world. "Mommy is often in a hurry. You are often wanting to slow down, discover and explore." I let my child know that both of our perspectives are valid and normal and okay. I let my child know that both approaches are needed in life.
We then practiced what "Child Time" looks like. I declared, as a Mom pretending to go somewhere "We are going to the library." My child and I walked around her room, glancing through a picture book. Changing socks. Wandering into the living room we found a puzzle and placed a few more pieces. We took "our time" before we got to the car and buckled safely.
Next, it was a lesson in "Mommy time". I declared "We have to leave for the doctor's office". We got dressed and found our shoes. We were momentarily distracted by the goldfish, but we reminded ourselves we were on "Mommy time". We focused on task again. We made it to the car quickly.
After a few fun practice times, I would include whether I needed something done on "Mommy time" or "Child time" as I issued the information that we needed something done or we needed to leave. I made sure to include plenty of "Child time" leavings and activities so that they were able to focus when Mommy time was needed. Our practice and division of Mommy Time and Child time did not eliminate dawdling frustrations but it helped tremendously.