I just want to be a mom...

[MomSchool5]

I don't think I can do this anymore. The last few weeks have been so nice: They spent one week doing their standardized testing at a local school and then last week we had off for our spring break. It has been so nice. They still had to practice piano and do chores, but I was just mom and it was so wonderful. So far this morning one had thrown a fit about vision therapy, another told me I hated her when I sent her to her room when she kept crying during a reading lesson, and another one was tearing his hair out with me over a writing assignment he just didn't get. I am sitting here crying with a horrible headache. I just want to be mom...not taskmaster, teacher.:banghead:

Mara

[Emmy]

:grouphug: I understand. I've been there too. At the end of last year I was so burned out and the summer was such a relief to me. To only "be a mom" and take care of the house and not worry about school was exactly what I needed. Maybe you should start summer break early? What about taking May and June off and then starting back after the 4th of July when it's so hot?

[Marie in Oh]

It is so hard to come off a break. The first day back is always so hard. I agree-- finish up what you can and take an early summer. I so understand. There are so many days I just want to throw in the towel and quit-- stick their little bodies on the school bus and see them 7 hours later when they get home. Then I realize it was just a bad day and I would never want to do that in reality.

:grouphug:

[Cadam]

Then give it rest and just be their mommy for a while. Don't throw in the towel based on emotion and frustration. If you send them to school it needs to be a reasoned decision. Take some time to just enjoy them and then re-evaluate.

What are your reasons for homeschooling? Do your reasons even leave ps open as an option? Is there anything you could change to cut out some of the frustration? Is this just the normal pains that come from kids getting back into routine after a 2 week break or is there something more to be addressed?

Everyone has Spring Fever and it is pretty near the end of the school year. Take a little break and then finish up the basics quickly before Summer. Take the Summer to deal with the issues, make a plan to avoid burn out in all of you. Maybe you do decide to send them to school, but make it a calm decision, you are less likely to regret it latter if you are clear about your reasons and know it is the best thing for all.

[Mom2legomaniacs]

I am sorry. Coming off a break is so difficult! We have trouble with that too. If you really do just want to mom, then think long and hard before doing that. It is always best to not make decisions in the heat of the moment, IMO. And if that is the right choice for your family, then do it. It will be hard to make that decision, but if it truly is the right one and you follow that, good for you for being brave enough to do what is best for your family!:grouphug: I hope tomorrow is much better.

[MomSchool5]

Putting them in school isn't an option until maybe 2009-2010. It isn't just the break...this has been my life all year especially with my middle child. When I am just his mom, we get along great, but when I put on my teacher hat...look out. Everyone else loves him and talks about how smart he is: SS teacher, piano teacher, etc but they don't see how lazy he is!!! Half the time they let him get away with half effort. This is a child who will spend 20 minutes arguing over something that will take him 5 minutes. My latest strategy..like with vision therapy this morning to say, "Do your vision therapy." and when he started almost crying and whining.. I looked at him and said do it and left the room. I have to so as not to start screaming at him. He gets so mad at how brilliant his brother is or he won a piano competion and he didn't...But his brother spends hours practicing and he doesn't. His brother works hard. And now my K girl is picking up his habits...

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I don't think I can do this anymore. The last few weeks have been so nice: They spent one week doing their standardized testing at a local school and then last week we had off for our spring break. It has been so nice. They still had to practice piano and do chores, but I was just mom and it was so wonderful. So far this morning one had thrown a fit about vision therapy, another told me I hated her when I sent her to her room when she kept crying during a reading lesson, and another one was tearing his hair out with me over a writing assignment he just didn't get. I am sitting here crying with a horrible headache. I just want to be mom...not taskmaster, teacher.:banghead:

Mara

I know how it is. Sometimes I look at my non-hsing friends and I think, "Wow, they have it made. They can just be mom. They don't seem as exhausted as I am!"

One thing that helps me is really going back to the reasons for homeschooling I did at the beginning of starting and also reading our goals. It's good to keep it all in front of you so you can be effective. Another reason is, maybe realizing that you've either attained your goals and need new ones, or maybe it'll help for you to see that you've got more to accomplish and then sit down and figure out how to do it. Either way, it encourages you!

Having these things written down really helps me. It's tangible. My dh and I wrote them together. It's kept me focused and at the same time encourages me to press on!

Hope your day gets better.:grouphug: We've all been there. We will probably all be there again!:001_smile:

[Cadam]

Putting them in school isn't an option until maybe 2009-2010. It isn't just the break...this has been my life all year especially with my middle child. When I am just his mom, we get along great, but when I put on my teacher hat...look out. Everyone else loves him and talks about how smart he is: SS teacher, piano teacher, etc but they don't see how lazy he is!!! Half the time they let him get away with half effort. This is a child who will spend 20 minutes arguing over something that will take him 5 minutes. My latest strategy..like with vision therapy this morning to say, "Do your vision therapy." and when he started almost crying and whining.. I looked at him and said do it and left the room. I have to so as not to start screaming at him. He gets so mad at how brilliant his brother is or he won a piano competion and he didn't...But his brother spends hours practicing and he doesn't. His brother works hard. And now my K girl is picking up his habits...


Do you have the same problems with chores? Or is it just academics? Can you dh step in with a man to man talk? We need a couple of these a year to help with ds's attitude. I am not totally sure what dh says but it does help for a while. Can you look for curriculum that takes you out of the teacher role a bit?

Our math is on a dvd so dd has to do it the way the teacher on the video says to. In FLL dd has to do copy work because "the book says to". That sort of thing helps us some.
:grouphug:

[klmama]

It happens every time. In fact, the last time we took a break, we went through it on the first day back. When I asked ds in frustration how I could get him to pay attention to his math lesson without yelling at him, he told me, "Mom, it's that thing that happens every time we take a break. It'll get better." And he's right, it does. Every time. Over a week or two.

When I feel like you do right now, I try to do something we'll all like. I ease into the day slowly, as far as the quantity of work (because none of us is quite ready for the full load yet). We take longer recess breaks. When emotions get high, I read them a book, or we do our history outside with me reading while they swing. It makes us all feel better, and we accomplish something, too.

You mentioned that the child you have the most difficulty with is the one that procrastinates by arguing. You know, it may not be laziness as much as perfectionism paralyzing him, particularly since he is very bright. Mindset is a very good book to read about that. Also, some kids honestly don't realize how much work others have to do to get the level of success they have acheived, even when they are right there and should have noticed it firsthand. They just don't. It comes with maturity (and repeated explanations of how much time the others have to put in).

Regardless, you know you have a child that is more difficult to teach than others, for whatever reason, and he honestly takes more of your energy. Plan for it. Expect it. Be delighted on those days it doesn't happen, but don't expect that to become the norm just because it happened once or twice. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself up for it (and that may mean finding some way to give yourself the margin you mentioned wanting in your other post).

[Adrianne]

My latest strategy..like with vision therapy this morning to say, "Do your vision therapy." and when he started almost crying and whining.. I looked at him and said do it and left the room. I have to so as not to start screaming at him.

I have found that ignoring the whining and complaining and walking out of the room with a "just do it" attitude works VERY WELL. I am not mean, just firm when I do this. On very whiny kid days, this works very well. It closes the door to any argument.

It sounds like you do need to take some time out and evaluate your relationship with your son. Be his mom for a while and have some quality one on one time with him. Open the lines of communication and may be he will share what his frustrations are. Find out who he is and remember, he is his own person and will never be like his older brother.

I find I can tell when I am not getting enough one on one time with the kids just by their attitudes. When we begin spending more time together, then the attitudes go away. (for the most part).

For instance, could you just do his vision therapy with him? Just sit by him and tell him what a good job he is doing. Or spend a day doing with him what he likes to do. These little efforts go along way with kids.

And you know if you try everything and you still feel you need to send him to ps, go ahead. You need to do what is best for both of you.

These times are so hard in our lives. But working on your relationship with your son is worth the effort! Hang in there!

[LaMere Academy]

I hear you...I've often dreamed (fleetingly) of being an unschooler for just those reasons. I'm looking forward eagerly to summer break !!