Why do I always feel as if we're not doing "enough" schoolwork?

[Sue G in PA]

Is this just inexperience and paranoia that my children will turn out to be uneducated blobs unable to compete in the real world? Does anybody else feel this way? I'm plagued with this feeling of doubt that I'm not doing enough for my kids. Do they write enough? Well enough? Will they get enough math and in time for PSAT's? Should we do more Science, History, ARt, Music? It goes on and on. Will this pass as we get more years of hsing under our belt? OR, will it plague me forever?

[Sharon H in IL]

1)Is this just inexperience and paranoia

2) Will this pass as we get more years of hsing under our belt? OR, will it plague me forever?

Quick answer: 1) yes, and 2) yes.

Longer answer: If you were a public or private school mom, you'd be stressing about the same things, just with less information to go on. We are all subject to the human tendency to see the parts of others that they want to show to the world, and golly, they are looking pretty good! What you don't see (because we don't feel as good about airing it) is the times when everything is like slogging through mud.

Most of us at some level are continually assessing our schedules, our choice of activities, our time spent on each subject. If you're really concerned, ask an experienced and wise homeschool parent to shadow you for a day, to see if he or she can offer any suggestions. Or just bounce ideas off of him/her.

Take heart, get lots of sleep, do your best, and realize that it won't be too long before your children will be the ones primarily responsible for educating themselves. We want to create little autodidacts, yes? After a certain age, there is no more teaching, there is only learning.

So wear those excellent homeschool shoes with pride!

[Julie in CA]

No matter how much school is accomplished at my house, it's never enough!
I try to keep my thoughts on this from my kids, because I'm pretty sure that it's just my perfectionism rearing it's ugly head, and not a real problem with what my dc are doing.
What has made me feel like it's finally enough is having my oldest ds (16 1/2) dual-enrolled at the community college. He did really well on the assessment for placement in college classes, and he's at least as well prepared as a homeschool high school junior as the other kids are who've graduated from private and public schools. I'm much more comfortable now that what I've done all these years was just fine.
Whatever we did must have worked! Now, I just have four more dc to go...:eek:

[PinkInTheBlue]

Oh yes, I know exactly what you mean.

This is our 7th year homeschooling and I still have a hard time with this. We do grammar, spelling, math, math drills, reading (quiet and out loud), history/science, writing 2xwk, and Latin/Spanish every week. Then I read about these homeschooling Moms with kids my age who are practically writing novels already and I think "we aren't doing enough!". Plus, by being consistent and precise, we do a wonderful day of school in 3 hours. It just works that way and I can't seem to make it longer. :) I hear of home schoolers going from 8 or 9 to 3pm and I couldn't force our day to be that long.

We're just all different, I think.

[LoriM]

I spent 8 years like that, and then my kid started at the community college. Whew. She not only "didn't fail" but exceeded my every expectation. She's 80+ hours into her bachelor's degree now, and has a 4.0 GPA. I never taught her to write, never graded her math, and never forced her to read history or science she wasn't interested in. I let her watch a lot of television, and read less-than-classic literature.

Now, I wish we'd spent more days in our pajamas, with a good book. I think I heaped a lot of "have you done your math? your history? What HAVE you done in school today?" guilt on her that she never needed or deserved.

Of course, then there's my 15 yo. Is she ready? Can she write? Am I choosing the right things for her? Is she ready????

Still plagued. Still not perfect. Still not psychic.

[coffeegal]

I feel the same way even though I've been homeschooling now for 7 years. There's always someone doing more writing, more science, more history, a better Latin program, or saying my curricula isn't good enough. It will drive you crazy if you let it. :eek: That being said, I'm schooling on the philosophy that a bit of average school done every day is better than the best curriculum done sporadically. :cool:

[jail warden]

Yep. I do this all the time and then sometimes I burn myself out. :( Don't have any answers. If you have some feel free to share!;)

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Is this just inexperience and paranoia that my children will turn out to be uneducated blobs unable to compete in the real world? Does anybody else feel this way? I'm plagued with this feeling of doubt that I'm not doing enough for my kids. Do they write enough? Well enough? Will they get enough math and in time for PSAT's? Should we do more Science, History, ARt, Music? It goes on and on. Will this pass as we get more years of hsing under our belt? OR, will it plague me forever?

Yep. But my job is to carry this concern around. I'm responsible for educating my children, and I need to have a plan. Right now my plan includes formal, institutional schooling. But *I*, the mom, am responsible for it, because that's how it works in my house. (Dh just trusts that I've done my research. :D)

If I have a plan and I'm working my plan with a goal in mind, then I relax and enjoy the process. If I'm not actually educating my kids, then the doubt and paranoia is a good, good thing that will actually get me on track.

Find yourself a standard and do occasional benchmarks against that standard. If you're on target, relax. If you're not, ramp it up or change what schooling your children looks like.

(It sounds simple, but it's sure not easy.)

[Patty Joanna]

Dear Sue,

This is me all over. And it is exactly why I plan the year: if, at the beginning of the year, I *decide* that I will be happy if we do Book Y, then I plan out how to do Book Y over the course of the year, and we stay on track, then I can *force* myself to be happy, and not feel so off-pace. But if I just have things loosy-goosy, with no goal or measurable in sight, then I spend a lot of time piling things on, and feeling like we aren't getting enough done. The plan is a protection for both me--in the worry department--and my son--who doesn't get irrationally "piled on".

Kind regards,

[ncmomo3]

I have been hs'ing for 4 yrs.---still have the same issues you ladies are stating. These encouraging words are like music to me! OH! How I needed to read this. Thank you.