Wearing my heart on my sleeve here.....

[Momto4kids]

I read SWB response to the one thread asking if we are all cranky or if its the weather.

For me its both and I will try to explain why. Please bear with me and try to see that my intention in this thread is to explain myself to ya not to try and cause division.

First, it is raining here and cold (northern IN) and I heard a rumor that it may snow AGAIN tomorow. Of course I heard that from dh and he loves my reaction to hearing that we are getting snow and he may have been trying to rile me up, the stinker. :glare: My boys are cooped up and FULL of energy. Maybe they got spoiled with the last couple days of nice weather and are resenting the fact that they are cooped up but they have been fighting non stop today.

I haven't had much sleep the last 3 nights for various reasons.

I first read the income thread. Well we are on the very low side and have been the last 3 years. It is a struggle and challenging at times and we are trying to improve it. It is not a lack of dedication on my dh's side either. He is a driven self-employed man and I know he will be successful, but in the mean time here we sit. So I read that thread trying to be openminded and it was a stuggle at times, but all of us are in different stages and have different incomes and that is fine.

Then I see some college threads. Well I myself didn't go to college and started a thread on that and then explained why. I should have also said in that thread, that at times I regretted not going. I did. Looking back everything wokred out just the way it should be but there was time I regretted not going.

Then I opened up the Disney thread. Even with our lower income that is the one place we LOVE to go and we get the money together and try to go every 3 years or so. So that thread I just tried to ignore because I didn't agree with the general consensus on it.

I for one allowed myself to let all of the above stew together and I got a little cranky. I admit it.

As far as the income, we are happy, but sometimes when I see that others have more I let my human side take over and envy sets in. Yet for someone else looking into our lives they may see that we have more and get envious.

Sooo, after all this is said I guess I just want to say, yall I'm human! And admit that YES!! I was cranky about some threads today. :glare: Please forgive me. :001_smile:

[Laura in VA]

:grouphug: to you. I'm sorry you are in a funk. I get like that at times.

One eensy weensy piece of advice that may not be worth much:
Don't read the threads that you think may make you feel badly. I know that is easier said than done. :)

I've learned that I just need to avoid reading threads or posts of certain posters ;) that may set me off, kwim? That's the beauty of this board community. We don't have to "listen" to everything that's being "said".

[Scarlett]

Sooo, after all this is said I guess I just want to say, yall I'm human! And admit that YES!! I was cranky about some threads today. :glare: Please forgive me. :001_smile:


Oh, bother. Now you're forcing me to search your posts and see where you were cranky.

In the meantime, I'd like to say I didn't go to college and I rarely regret it....if I do it is usually when I read something on this board that causes a little envy, but then I get over myself and go on.

Also, it would appear from some polls today that many hs'lers are in the upper income levels. That seems a little confusing to me...because on the one hand maybe people homeschool because one spouse doesn't HAVE to work, but on the other hand, both spouses CAN'T work (generally) and homeschool. Hmm...interesting. I do have a lot of respect for people on the lower income side who choose to continue staying home to care for their precious children when it might sometimes seem the answer to the money problems would be to go back to work and have 2 incomes.

And as for the envy thing....I know EXACTLY what you mean. Although I have much more than many many people I know, my VERY BEST FRIEND since childhood....is uumm.....very very very wealthy. We're talking they have their own airplane/million dollar weekend lakehouse/are building a 7000 sf house back in our home town... So trust me I know all about feeling a little envious even using my best common sense that 'things' don't make a life happy.

And finally :grouphug:

[Danestress]

I read your thread and sympathize, but then I looked at your child's photo, and I thought of my favorite sonnet. You have such a beautiful child. What a doll! I know what you mean about how comparing yourself to others can result in envy, even when you know that others might envy you. It's silly, when you take a global perspective, but most of us are more inclined to look at the people in our daily lives and compare ourselves to *them* than to more remote and less fortunate (financially) people. A good, reason, I suppose, to make sure we don't isolate ourselves from a broader community. Anyway, when I feel envy stir, I look at my children - preferably when they are asleep - and it all goes away!


When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

[Kelli in TN]

First, it is raining here and cold (northern IN) and I heard a rumor that it may snow AGAIN tomorow. Of course I heard that from dh and he loves my reaction to hearing that we are getting snow and he may have been trying to rile me up, the stinker. :glare: My boys are cooped up and FULL of energy. Maybe they got spoiled with the last couple days of nice weather and are resenting the fact that they are cooped up but they have been fighting non stop today.

I haven't had much sleep the last 3 nights for various reasons.

I first read the income thread. Well we are on the very low side and have been the last 3 years.

Then I see some college threads. Well I myself didn't go to college and started a thread on that and then explained why. I should have also said in that thread, that at times I regretted not going. I did.

Then I opened up the Disney thread. Even with our lower income that is the one place we LOVE to go I for one allowed myself to let all of the above stew together and I got a little cranky. I admit it.

As far as the income, we are happy, but sometimes when I see that others have more I let my human side take over and envy sets in. Yet for someone else looking into our lives they may see that we have more and get envious.

:

Ah, here's to bein' a human bean.

I admit that I am envious of folks who got to go to college. I feel like so much less because of it. Shoot, I am envious of people who had good high school experiences.

We have tried to scrape the money together to go to either Washington DC or Disney for a long time. Haven't been to either one yet. With rising fuel prices it is less likely than ever before.

And my head knows that by world standards we are affluent but it gets hard to remember that because by American standards we certainly are not.

Our weather is fabulous right now, but the monster (tornadoish weather) is looking at west Tennessee and licking its lips. And while we rarely get trapped inside because of cold, think kindly of me when I am trapped inside because of 100+ temps and my kids are hot and cranky and the air conditioner cannot keep up.

So, I get where you are coming from. If you lived around me I'd meet you for coffee, after the tornado blows through of course.

[Jennifer in NH]

:grouphug: to you. I'm sorry you are in a funk. I get like that at times.

One eensy weensy piece of advice that may not be worth much:
Don't read the threads that you think may make you feel badly. I know that is easier said than done. :)

I've learned that I just need to avoid reading threads or posts of certain posters ;) that may set me off, kwim? That's the beauty of this board community. We don't have to "listen" to everything that's being "said".
:iagree: There are plenty of of threads I never glance at because I just know I will get riled up!

[Momto4kids]

Ladies thanks for the replies. It helps to know I am not alone! hehe My Charlie boy is pretty cute isn't he? :-)

I try to remind myself when we are particularly tight that we just chose to spend our money on different things. Everyone does. You (speaking about no one in particular) may spend it on new boat, I may think thats crazy but spend my money on something you (again no one in particular) may think is crazy.

Again, thanks.

[Tutor]

Well, I didn't note cranky in any of the other threads so either my cranky radar needs to be fixed or you all hide it well. :001_smile: (Sorry, I meant y'all... still getting used to Dixie-speak. :D)

I had to make myself not look at the income thread any more. I was getting depressed looking at my contribution to the first stat and then found myself getting envious as I scrolled down the poll. And I was really enjoying the economics discussion, too, but in the end, it's not worth it.

That's the nice thing about message boards... I can just close them up and revisit after I get a dose of reality and gratefulness and hug my kiddos.

Now I am off to take a nap before my protective instincts kick in and I am poised to spring when the tornado alarm goes off.

((()))

[Denise in IN]

First, it is raining here and cold (northern IN) and I heard a rumor that it may snow AGAIN tomorow. Of course I heard that from dh and he loves my reaction to hearing that we are getting snow and he may have been trying to rile me up, the stinker. :glare: My boys are cooped up and FULL of energy. Maybe they got spoiled with the last couple days of nice weather and are resenting the fact that they are cooped up but they have been fighting non stop today.

This rain is making me crabby too. It's so grey outside. Yuck! And PLEASE don't say snow. The beautiful sunny weather we had earlier this week spoiled me!

My boys are making me batty too.

Now I have to know...where are you in northern Indiana? I'm in the Ft. Wayne area. (If you don't want to put you specific location online, you can pm or e-mail me!)

[Momto4kids]

Now I have to know...where are you in northern Indiana? I'm in the Ft. Wayne area. (If you don't want to put you specific location online, you can pm or e-mail me!)


We are in South Bend!

[Colleen]

...you've never come across to me as cranky. For that matter, based on my reading here today, I don't agree with SWB's description. Having said that, I am truly sorry if some of the conversations have been akin to pouring salt in your wounds. I appreciate your humility. Hugs to you!

[OnTheBrink]

Megan, don't feel bad. Both my parents are Ph.D's and I didn't even finish college. I'm in the lowest income bracket, but regardless of being po' and unedjukated, I'm happy with where I am in life. I know me. If I'd pursued a career, I'd not be homeschooling, so it's all ok.

:grouphug:

[Carol in Cal.]

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

(It's my favorite sonnet, too.)

[umarider]

When I start to feel dissatisfied with my life I remind myself that my worst day would be the answer to someone else's prayer. There are folks out there who wish to have kids, husband, only minor health issues, even a yard to mow or toilet fix! (Because that would mean they had a place to live).

Then I try to take a nap... my cozy, warm bed seems to rebuild my spirit. I think everyone in the world deserves to sleep safely in a cozy bed!

[elegantlion]

We're self-employed here too. I could budget if we had a steady income, it's more like a roller coaster. I know how hard it is to see your dh work his hiney off and still struggle. :grouphug: and chocolate to pass around.

[Remudamom]

I didn't notice you being cranky. And I think those threads were icky, and I apologize for taking part in them. Never again.

[Denise in IN]

We are in South Bend!

Hey, we're not so far apart! Not that I've been to South Bend too many times...but we're like WTM board neighbors! :D

[Elaine]

Ladies thanks for the replies. It helps to know I am not alone! hehe My Charlie boy is pretty cute isn't he? :-)

I try to remind myself when we are particularly tight that we just chose to spend our money on different things. Everyone does. You (speaking about no one in particular) may spend it on new boat, I may think thats crazy but spend my money on something you (again no one in particular) may think is crazy.

Again, thanks.

Yeppo! That is one cute Charlie boy!:D

Hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself. :grouphug:

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I've learned that I just need to avoid reading threads or posts of certain posters ;) that may set me off, kwim? That's the beauty of this board community. We don't have to "listen" to everything that's being "said".

I've found that I benefit from using the ignore setting. There are a couple posters whom I really react to. It is better for me to not even see those posts. Probably better for them to because then I don't have the temptation to react in a snarky way to something they've put out there.

[nestof3]

My husband is self-employed as well. That's really an aside though.

The main reason I am posting here is that there will always be someone who has more than you do and has it easier than you do.

I remind myself that I should not covet and that I should be content. I am convinced that true peace and joy come from being content. Covetousness leads to so much: debt, strife, a feeling of entitlement and a lack of thankfulness.

Often when I pray during our lunch I will just name things I am thankful for so my children can learn to name these things out as well. They will often thank God for our cozy little home. I usually say something like, "Thank you God that we have never gone hungry."

[Eliana]

I read your thread and sympathize, but then I looked at your child's photo, and I thought of my favorite sonnet. You have such a beautiful child. What a doll! I know what you mean about how comparing yourself to others can result in envy, even when you know that others might envy you. It's silly, when you take a global perspective, but most of us are more inclined to look at the people in our daily lives and compare ourselves to *them* than to more remote and less fortunate (financially) people. A good, reason, I suppose, to make sure we don't isolate ourselves from a broader community. Anyway, when I feel envy stir, I look at my children - preferably when they are asleep - and it all goes away!


When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

This is one of my comfort poems too... of all the brachos showered upon me, my dh is the one which amazes me the most, the one which goes the furthest beyond what I could have imagined even asking for, let alone getting... the way our hearts and souls fit together is a daily miracle...

In our roughest times, I kept reminding myself that at least we were going through it all together - and if I have his hand in mine, I can make it through anything - G-d willing.

[Kelli in TN]

I've found that I benefit from using the ignore setting. There are a couple posters whom I really react to. It is better for me to not even see those posts. Probably better for them to because then I don't have the temptation to react in a snarky way to something they've put out there.

Ain't it the truth!!!:D