Backyard Neighbors - I could use your thoughts

[CalicoKat]

We've lived here 8 yrs. And the elderly couple whose backyard is perpendicular to our backyard have continually disregarded my requests to them to not feed my kids and not to feed my pets. They're a nice couple, but in this respect they've chosen to act like they've never ever heard me say not to feed the pets dog bones or kids slices of white bread.

[This is also the couple who lifted my 2 yr old over the fence last summer and let him take a tour of their home to see their train setup--I was standing right there but they never asked. They lifted him up and over and when I started to say things like, "He needs to come back now," they did bring him back but not quickly enough. He was there all of 10 minutes--too long for me.]

Anyway it's been winter and I've enjoyed the snowbanks obscuring their fence and making our backyard impassable. But now that it's warm and my 2 yo wants to live in the backyard it's become a huge issue again.

I know she has heard me because she won't feed my one dog, who has seizures that seem to be triggered by cheap dog food, in my presence. She does the smaller dog.

Today we made her mad. We asked the kids what was going on since she doesn't do it in our presence. We told the kids that we don't want them to take the bread she gives them and we don't want her to feed the dogs. They did. Our dd 7 came running, "You need to talk to ____. She says that the white bread doesn't give Gypsy dog seizures. And she fed it to her even though we told her not to."

My dogs constantly scratch and whine at my back door trying to get out to the fence by her house. She also leaves treats stuck through the fence. If the dogs see her through the window they're almost panicky to get out by her.

She loves my kids and she loves my dogs--I hate that she feeds them crappy white bread that they can depend on getting now that the weather is warm so they don't have to worry about eating what I prepare for them to eat. I hate that she feeds my pets making them crazy to get out and that the food she feeds one dog does cause seizures to happen more frequently. Gypsy only had a couple seizures all winter. Now with the warm weather she's had one almost every other day. They're about 15 min. long each. She pees and barfs after each one whever she's lying.

The good news: It appears that we're moving in 8 weeks. So do I

1. Ignore it and be thankful we're moving
2. Address it and make them angry
3. Hang butcher paper on the lower half of the window so the dogs can't see her out in her backyard
4. send dh over to talk with her since she isn't listening to me.

[Angela in TN]

I remember the post about your 2 yr old getting lifted over the fence (yikes!). Since your moving in a few months I'd skip the confrontation but that's just me. I would probebly go out sometime unseen and kick the dog treats out of the fence though.:D

[elegantlion]

I would avoid the confrontation since you are moving. But I'd be vigilant with the dogs, can they just go out when you are there?

[Twinmom]

If you were staying, my advice would be completely different, esp. since this involves health issues. But since you are not, I'd not confront the couple. Put butcher paper over the bottom of the door so the dogs can't see out and throw a fit, then try to let it go. Since you are moving in just a few weeks, a little bit of extra vigilance with the dogs and kids during that time will probably be enough. Who knows, there might be something going on (or not going on) upstairs with this elderly couple that make it difficult for them to follow your instructions? Or, maybe they are just lonely.

[strider]

As an aside--I am curious about your move. Did your house sell? (I do so hope!!!)

I am horrified on your behalf that this woman will NOT respect reasonable boundaries. Her manners are lacking, to say the least, and I am also horrified that she would undermine you in this way. This is immature and divisive, and there is no reason for it.

All your options are decent--you have thought this through well. Now, what to do. I would say to try to project the most likely consequences of whatever choice you make, and then do whatever best facilitates a peaceful life for YOU.

--If you are moving shortly, I would be very, very tempted to go the passive-aggressive route. Put the paper on the door, continue reminding your kids not to take the bread, and just try to move out peacefully. Then you never have to deal with this woman again.

--If you are at a boiling point emotionally (I certainly would be!) and/or have concerns about your kids' or dogs' safety for these eight weeks, it has to be addressed. If dh can be really firm and kind of scary:angry: about it, go ahead and have him do it. If he is likely to come away from the encounter sympathetic to these poor old dears, then perhaps you'd better confront. You might even put it in writing--if you do, keep it BRIEF and unemotional, just laying down the rules.

However, having said that, I get the sense that a confrontation may have absolutely no effect on your neighbor's behavior. So then your only other option is to train your children to obey YOU no matter what the neighbor says/does. You may need to remind your kids every day for the next eight weeks--what a royal pain!

One final thought: How firm is your move date? If it may extend past eight weeks, then I would be tempted to go with the strong confrontation. It's not worth it to spend a summer dealing with this outrage.

[CalicoKat]

We've lived here 8 yrs. And the elderly couple whose backyard is perpendicular to our backyard have continually disregarded my requests to them to not feed my kids and not to feed my pets. They're a nice couple, but in this respect they've chosen to act like they've never ever heard me say not to feed the pets dog bones or kids slices of white bread.

[This is also the couple who lifted my 2 yr old over the fence last summer and let him take a tour of their home to see their train setup--I was standing right there but they never asked. They lifted him up and over and when I started to say things like, "He needs to come back now," they did bring him back but not quickly enough. He was there all of 10 minutes--too long for me.]

Anyway it's been winter and I've enjoyed the snowbanks obscuring their fence and making our backyard impassable. But now that it's warm and my 2 yo wants to live in the backyard it's become a huge issue again.

I know she has heard me because she won't feed my one dog, who has seizures that seem to be triggered by cheap dog food, in my presence. She does the smaller dog.

Today we made her mad. We asked the kids what was going on since she doesn't do it in our presence. We told the kids that we don't want them to take the bread she gives them and we don't want her to feed the dogs. They did. Our dd 7 came running, "You need to talk to ____. She says that the white bread doesn't give Gypsy dog seizures. And she fed it to her even though we told her not to."

My dogs constantly scratch and whine at my back door trying to get out to the fence by her house. She also leaves treats stuck through the fence. If the dogs see her through the window they're almost panicky to get out by her.

She loves my kids and she loves my dogs--I hate that she feeds them crappy white bread that they can depend on getting now that the weather is warm so they don't have to worry about eating what I prepare for them to eat. I hate that she feeds my pets making them crazy to get out and that the food she feeds one dog does cause seizures to happen more frequently. Gypsy only had a couple seizures all winter. Now with the warm weather she's had one almost every other day. They're about 15 min. long each. She pees and barfs after each one whever she's lying.

The good news: It appears that we're moving in 8 weeks. So do I

1. Ignore it and be thankful we're moving
2. Address it and make them angry
3. Hang butcher paper on the lower half of the window so the dogs can't see her out in her backyard
4. send dh over to talk with her since she isn't listening to me.
Gypsy just had another seizure -- 7 minutes long. She's my guard dog and she's supposed to go out with the kids when they head outside so it's hard for me to keep her indoors except when I'm out.

She "bit" this neighbor's husband the first time he put his hand over the fence. She didn't leave marks but she was letting him know he wasn't where he was supposed to be. I think that's why they've started feeding her--to make friends. I'd warned them when she'd arrived that she probably woudn't appreciate disrespect to the boundaries.

She was my mom's farm dog. My mom let me take her home since she did a number on the baby chicks we were trying to raise. :)

It's hard to keep the kids/dogs indoors just because of this neighbor. We'll have to live in a rental for a while and I don't know if we'll have a backyard at all this summer. It would be nice if they could enjoy it for the next 8 weeks.

[strider]

Gypsy just had another seizure -- 7 minutes long. She's my guard dog and she's supposed to go out with the kids when they head outside so it's hard for me to keep her indoors except when I'm out.

She "bit" this neighbor's husband the first time he put his hand over the fence. She didn't leave marks but she was letting him know he wasn't where he was supposed to be. I think that's why they've started feeding her--to make friends. I'd warned them when she'd arrived that she probably woudn't appreciate disrespect to the boundaries.

She was my mom's farm dog. My mom let me take her home since she did a number on the baby chicks we were trying to raise. :)

It's hard to keep the kids/dogs indoors just because of this neighbor. We'll have to live in a rental for a while and I don't know if we'll have a backyard at all this summer. It would be nice if they could enjoy it for the next 8 weeks.

Yikes. Ugh. It sounds like a confrontation does need to happen--you NEED the dog to do her job, and your dog has a right to as healthy an existence as possible. It doesn't seem as though your poor dog can keep having seizures like this without some effect on her long-term health. What an ugly situation--I am sorry.

[CalicoKat]

As an aside--I am curious about your move. Did your house sell? (I do so hope!!!)

I am horrified on your behalf that this woman will NOT respect reasonable boundaries. Her manners are lacking, to say the least, and I am also horrified that she would undermine you in this way. This is immature and divisive, and there is no reason for it.

All your options are decent--you have thought this through well. Now, what to do. I would say to try to project the most likely consequences of whatever choice you make, and then do whatever best facilitates a peaceful life for YOU.

--If you are moving shortly, I would be very, very tempted to go the passive-aggressive route. Put the paper on the door, continue reminding your kids not to take the bread, and just try to move out peacefully. Then you never have to deal with this woman again.

--If you are at a boiling point emotionally (I certainly would be!) and/or have concerns about your kids' or dogs' safety for these eight weeks, it has to be addressed. If dh can be really firm and kind of scary:angry: about it, go ahead and have him do it. If he is likely to come away from the encounter sympathetic to these poor old dears, then perhaps you'd better confront. You might even put it in writing--if you do, keep it BRIEF and unemotional, just laying down the rules.

However, having said that, I get the sense that a confrontation may have absolutely no effect on your neighbor's behavior. So then your only other option is to train your children to obey YOU no matter what the neighbor says/does. You may need to remind your kids every day for the next eight weeks--what a royal pain!

One final thought: How firm is your move date? If it may extend past eight weeks, then I would be tempted to go with the strong confrontation. It's not worth it to spend a summer dealing with this outrage.

Thank you Strider! I always appreciate your insights and advice.

Our move out date is firm when the contract is completely negotiated. We're past the big issue of price and onto the little details of what's they want fixed before closing, June 5th. :) They're preapproved for a loan. And there is no home sale contingency. Wednesday next week is the deadline for them to respond.

Our realtor says the odds are in our favor that this is going to go through. Their realtor says they're extremely excited about the house. So our builder decided to go ahead and start to build.

Check out my blog for pictures of the new house. We've had to do some creative financing to afford the new house. It's going to be squeaky tight
but it will work now that I control where all the extra $$ is going. :) The new house will be ready end of August.

You're absolutely right this woman isn't going to listen to me or acknowledge that I've ever said anything to discourage her feeding my family. That's why I asked the kids today what was going on. They are kids but I think they're more truthful since they're watching this dog have seizures everyday.

LOL, dh has come back completly sympathetic to these old dears.

[Pencil Pusher]

Gypsy just had another seizure -- 7 minutes long. She's my guard dog and she's supposed to go out with the kids when they head outside so it's hard for me to keep her indoors except when I'm out.

She "bit" this neighbor's husband the first time he put his hand over the fence. She didn't leave marks but she was letting him know he wasn't where he was supposed to be. I think that's why they've started feeding her--to make friends. I'd warned them when she'd arrived that she probably woudn't appreciate disrespect to the boundaries.

She was my mom's farm dog. My mom let me take her home since she did a number on the baby chicks we were trying to raise. :)

It's hard to keep the kids/dogs indoors just because of this neighbor. We'll have to live in a rental for a while and I don't know if we'll have a backyard at all this summer. It would be nice if they could enjoy it for the next 8 weeks.

8 weeks is too long. I think you should address the problem in all of the ways you mentioned: be grateful, put paper up, & send dh/go over.

I was going to suggest a bigger/better/taller fence until I got to the part about moving. In some ways that's great, in some it's a real bummer, because it tends to make all "solutions" too extreme.

I don't know where you live, but around here, the next 8 weeks may be the only ones that we can reasonably go outside at all, it will be so hot after that.

Oooh--could you put up some kind of temporary, shorter fence, to keep kids and dogs out of arms reach? You know, reduce your back yard by say, 5-6 feet across the back? Heh, heh. I like passive-agressive, can you tell? (I also can't spell it.)

GL!

[Fourmother]

Oooh--could you put up some kind of temporary, shorter fence, to keep kids and dogs out of arms reach? You know, reduce your back yard by say, 5-6 feet across the back?

I was going to say something like this. What about covering your side of the fence and/or extending its height with something temporary like a tarp?

[Night Elf]

Oooh--could you put up some kind of temporary, shorter fence, to keep kids and dogs out of arms reach? You know, reduce your back yard by say, 5-6 feet across the back? Heh, heh. I like passive-agressive, can you tell? (I also can't spell it.)

GL!

I was thinking the same thing. Another idea is to put the dogs on a lead that doesn't let them go as far as the fence. The kids can politely refuse the treats offered to them, but the dogs will take food if it's offered. If the neighbors want to know why the dogs are on a lead, have the kids say, "I don't know, ask Mom." :)

[Elisabeth in IL]

I would ignore it as you are leaving in 8 weeks unless it is going to be a serious health issue for one of your dogs.

[Mekanamom]

Can you have your vet write a note about the dietary restrictions for your dog? I'm so sorry your neighbors seem to feel they don't need to listen to you; maybe they will listen to the vet.

Urgh... this kind of stuff makes me so mad. :glare:

Do you have a park nearby to take the kids and the dogs to? That's probably not very practical... if you're moving in 8 weeks, you probably don't have time to hang out at the park, and you should be able to use your own yard safely anyway!

[Unicorn]

If you're sure your moving, then #1 and #3. If you're not 100% sure about the move, then definitely have dh go talk to them. I'm sorry you're having to deal w/ this. (((calico kat )))

[Kris]

I can't believe some of the stuff I read here. What is WRONG with these people?

I would say just let it go since it's "only" eight weeks, but with what's happening to your dog, can you really do that?

You obviously haven't been able to get their attention, for whatever reason. Perhaps your husband can get the point across. If not that, perhaps a vet bill. I'd ask him to make it a BIG one.

You might tick 'em off, but you're leaving, so who cares?

[dalynnrmc]

I think the suggestions about shortening your hard somehow, at least in the dogs' reach, are great suggestions.

I'd add that the next time your dog has a seizure, go get these people and make them watch. :D

[Laurie4b]

I'm glad you're moving.

As a former social worker in mental health, these are my concerns and suggestions:

Someone who would take a toddler into their house without permission is scary.

These people are not normal. They are breaking social conventions left and right. That raises red flags. They may simply be oddballs, but things may be more serious than that.

Because I think they are violating health and safety boundaries flagrantly for both pets and kids, I don't think you should worry about "being nice", making waves, etc. I would see what back-up I could get from the community.

For the dogs, could you talk with your vet? Maybe if the vet wrote a letter stating the dog's health problems related to the food, and you sent it certified mail along with a letter stating that their continued further feeding is grounds for legal action to recover medical expenses plus pain and suffering. It really doesn't matter if you intend to pursue legal action or not.

For the kids, I would call the sheriff and ask them if there is anything that you or the sheriff can do given that someone is feeding your kids without your authorization and in opposition to your continued demands that they stop. Because they have already demonstrated willingness to feed your dogs things that you stated would cause medical problems, you have more than ample reason to be worried about what they might feed your kids.
You can also call the district attorney and see if there is anything that can be done.

What they are doing with your kids is similar to a process called "grooming" that happens with molesters. They give kids treats, gifts, etc. until the kids trust them, then there is a process of mildly inappropriate touching that starts and slowly escalates over time. The kids become used to it because it's gradual. The kids also feel partly responsible because they've liked the treats, which often keeps them from telling once things start to get uncomfortable for the kid.

Because this is such a well-documented phenomenon, it would surprise me if there were not something that you could do about what your neighbors are doing. (Note: I'm not saying that they are molesters, but their behavior is consistent with the behavior of molesters. They are undermining your authority in a very blatant way on top of it. At the very least, their behavior is incredibly bizarre. ) Because of this, I think it's likely that law enforcement would be helpful to you. Your kids have a right to play in their own backyard without being bothered by inappropriate and bizarre actions however long you live there. And if you take action, you may protect the next parents' children and pets as well.

[Cindyg]

If you weren't moving, I would recommend a hedge row on your side of the backyard fence. Neither kids nor dogs could get through a thick hedge. Alternatively, I would suggest a second fence, on your side of the shared fence, creating a little alley between your fence and theirs. You'd lose a few feet of your yard, but she couldn't reach the kids or dogs.

But since you're moving, well, I'd try to keep cool.

[gardenschooler]

I'd go with #2 or #4. Eight weeks isn't a short enough time to overlook it, plus, what is she going to do to the people who buy your house? Better to confront her in the hopes that she might check her own behavior. Sternly.

That borders on criminal, doesn't it? I mean, she's feeding your kids and your dogs and you've clearly told her not to!

No, I'd go over, both you and dh. I'd call first to make an appt., so they'd take it seriously and have no choice but see this is a big deal. They can't go around treating people like that.

I remember all that with them taking your 2 yr. old in the house. These people are strange.

Maybe my neighbors with their wild parties aren't so bad, after all. Although I didn't think so at 4 am yesterday!

[gardenschooler]

I'm glad you're moving.

As a former social worker in mental health, these are my concerns and suggestions:

Someone who would take a toddler into their house without permission is scary.

These people are not normal. They are breaking social conventions left and right. That raises red flags. They may simply be oddballs, but things may be more serious than that.

Because I think they are violating health and safety boundaries flagrantly for both pets and kids, I don't think you should worry about "being nice", making waves, etc. I would see what back-up I could get from the community.

For the dogs, could you talk with your vet? Maybe if the vet wrote a letter stating the dog's health problems related to the food, and you sent it certified mail along with a letter stating that their continued further feeding is grounds for legal action to recover medical expenses plus pain and suffering. It really doesn't matter if you intend to pursue legal action or not.

For the kids, I would call the sheriff and ask them if there is anything that you or the sheriff can do given that someone is feeding your kids without your authorization and in opposition to your continued demands that they stop. Because they have already demonstrated willingness to feed your dogs things that you stated would cause medical problems, you have more than ample reason to be worried about what they might feed your kids.
You can also call the district attorney and see if there is anything that can be done.

What they are doing with your kids is similar to a process called "grooming" that happens with molesters. They give kids treats, gifts, etc. until the kids trust them, then there is a process of mildly inappropriate touching that starts and slowly escalates over time. The kids become used to it because it's gradual. The kids also feel partly responsible because they've liked the treats, which often keeps them from telling once things start to get uncomfortable for the kid.

Because this is such a well-documented phenomenon, it would surprise me if there were not something that you could do about what your neighbors are doing. (Note: I'm not saying that they are molesters, but their behavior is consistent with the behavior of molesters. They are undermining your authority in a very blatant way on top of it. At the very least, their behavior is incredibly bizarre. ) Because of this, I think it's likely that law enforcement would be helpful to you. Your kids have a right to play in their own backyard without being bothered by inappropriate and bizarre actions however long you live there. And if you take action, you may protect the next parents' children and pets as well.

Thank You!!

[CalicoKat]

I'm glad you're moving.

As a former social worker in mental health, these are my concerns and suggestions:

Someone who would take a toddler into their house without permission is scary.

These people are not normal. They are breaking social conventions left and right. That raises red flags. They may simply be oddballs, but things may be more serious than that.

Because I think they are violating health and safety boundaries flagrantly for both pets and kids, I don't think you should worry about "being nice", making waves, etc. I would see what back-up I could get from the community.

For the dogs, could you talk with your vet? Maybe if the vet wrote a letter stating the dog's health problems related to the food, and you sent it certified mail along with a letter stating that their continued further feeding is grounds for legal action to recover medical expenses plus pain and suffering. It really doesn't matter if you intend to pursue legal action or not.

For the kids, I would call the sheriff and ask them if there is anything that you or the sheriff can do given that someone is feeding your kids without your authorization and in opposition to your continued demands that they stop. Because they have already demonstrated willingness to feed your dogs things that you stated would cause medical problems, you have more than ample reason to be worried about what they might feed your kids.
You can also call the district attorney and see if there is anything that can be done.

What they are doing with your kids is similar to a process called "grooming" that happens with molesters. They give kids treats, gifts, etc. until the kids trust them, then there is a process of mildly inappropriate touching that starts and slowly escalates over time. The kids become used to it because it's gradual. The kids also feel partly responsible because they've liked the treats, which often keeps them from telling once things start to get uncomfortable for the kid.

Because this is such a well-documented phenomenon, it would surprise me if there were not something that you could do about what your neighbors are doing. (Note: I'm not saying that they are molesters, but their behavior is consistent with the behavior of molesters. They are undermining your authority in a very blatant way on top of it. At the very least, their behavior is incredibly bizarre. ) Because of this, I think it's likely that law enforcement would be helpful to you. Your kids have a right to play in their own backyard without being bothered by inappropriate and bizarre actions however long you live there. And if you take action, you may protect the next parents' children and pets as well.

Anyway I agree their behaviour is inappropriate and I'm concerned now that they know we are only going to be here for 8 weeks more. I am mostly concerned for my 2 yo since he's the one who can't talk back.

I am working with dh on a solution.

[CalicoKat]

Thank you for gettng charged up about this with me! And thank you for your suggestions.

The dogs can't see into the backyard any longer. DH reminded me that I could just close the between-glass blinds :D for the next 8 weeks. It makes the kitchen darker, but it would solve that problem. I LOVE wide open windows so that's why I'd forgotten about those. Plus they're hard to operate. But if they stay closed not a problem.

We do have a ground tie for the dogs for when we go traveling. We're going to put that in a corner of the yard where they won't be able to reach the neighbor's corner.

As for the kids-- Keep on talking with them. Be present while they play outside. If they go behind the hedge to that corner they'll have to come in from playing.

8 weeks is almost too long. I wonder what our new neighbors are going to be like? We heard that our cul-de-sac from our builder that at least 3 homeowners are both public school teachers:tongue_smilie: I suppose in August I'll be posting another set of neighbor problems. :001_smile:

[Barbara in NH]

If you were staying I would definitely advise you in a different way. But since you are moving I would continue to be strict with your children about not taking food from the neighbor and see if they can keep an eye out for the neighbor feeding the dog.

I am totally guessing here as I'm not there but to me it sounds like they are lonely and since your kids are home they are trying to encourage the interaction with them and your dogs. I'm not at all saying that this is a good way to do it, but I have found that sometimes people who are lonely and especially elderly can sometimes reach out in "inappropriate ways".

When we have had problems with neighbors one thing I have done, actually our whole family is to pray for the people. I have no idea if this is an idea that would be acceptable for you and your families traditions/beliefs, but it has been helpful for us in tense situations with others before.

I think from your post you have been incredibly patient and kind, whatever happens it sounds like you've tried to be a good neighbor. You can keep that as a calming---hopefully--thought in the end.

[PariSarah]

Today we made her mad. We asked the kids what was going on since she doesn't do it in our presence. We told the kids that we don't want them to take the bread she gives them and we don't want her to feed the dogs. They did. Our dd 7 came running, "You need to talk to ____. She says that the white bread doesn't give Gypsy dog seizures. And she fed it to her even though we told her not to."

. . . . .

The good news: It appears that we're moving in 8 weeks. So do I

1. Ignore it and be thankful we're moving
2. Address it and make them angry
3. Hang butcher paper on the lower half of the window so the dogs can't see her out in her backyard
4. send dh over to talk with her since she isn't listening to me.

I have two thoughts. One, it sounds like your two older kids are old enough to help you out on this. I would even make it an obedience issue with them--they are not to accept food, and they are required to "tattle" when the couple is feeding the dogs or the littles. This probably would fall within the realm of things I would even be willing to punish myself as well as them over. (In other words, even though it would make life painful for me, I would take away their permission to play outside, or play outside unsupervised, if they disobeyed me in this matter. Normally, I would avoid punishments that also punished me, but this would have to be an exception.)

Two, you have to do number 2. Every time it happens. When the big kids run inside and say, "She's doing it again!" you have to come out right then and angrily tell them to stop. If they are otherwise good neighbors and it's important to you, be pleasant, courteous, and even generous with them at all other times. But when you catch them in the act, you must be angry and stern with them. No explanations, no requests, just an angry "You stop that! Now! Do not feed my kids or my dogs ever again!"

Eight weeks is too long to just leave it.

[CalicoKat]

I have two thoughts. One, it sounds like your two older kids are old enough to help you out on this. I would even make it an obedience issue with them--they are not to accept food, and they are required to "tattle" when the couple is feeding the dogs or the littles. This probably would fall within the realm of things I would even be willing to punish myself as well as them over. (In other words, even though it would make life painful for me, I would take away their permission to play outside, or play outside unsupervised, if they disobeyed me in this matter. Normally, I would avoid punishments that also punished me, but this would have to be an exception.)

Two, you have to do number 2. Every time it happens. When the big kids run inside and say, "She's doing it again!" you have to come out right then and angrily tell them to stop. If they are otherwise good neighbors and it's important to you, be pleasant, courteous, and even generous with them at all other times. But when you catch them in the act, you must be angry and stern with them. No explanations, no requests, just an angry "You stop that! Now! Do not feed my kids or my dogs ever again!"

Eight weeks is too long to just leave it.
Completely agree! DD 6 did this yesterday and they went in they house and stayed there all day:D Usually they're very big outdoors & gardening
people. DH did see them once and asked for a converstation, but they refused and that was the last we say them yesterday.

The dog hates being on the chain, but it is keeping her healtheir--no seizures yesterday! She'll have to be on a chain whenever we move for intermin housing.

The kids have been real good about leaving her tied up too.

[CalicoKat]

We put Gypsy (our doggie) out on a rope up close to the house all last week. And we noticed that if she didn't go to that corner of the yard where the neighbor's like to hang out then the kids didn't go. And because she wasn't running down to the fence the neighbors didn't seem to be in that corner as much--I kept an eye on the situation like a hawk. Gypsy didn't have one seizure all week. She did have one right after I fed her a McDonald's bun today though. Make you wonder what's in that white bread?

Then today the lady neighbor appeared on another side of my fenced yard:glare: to chat with my kids over the fence. (she was standing in another neighbor's yard) She didn't look happy to see me run out the door to join in the conversation. And she kept trying to pump me for information about the new folks who are buying our home. I didn't tell her anything!

Her husband came out too but he was only interested in petty my dog and acting like she was his tortured friend being kept from him--I ignored him too.

I think we found a solution that's going to work for the next 6 weeks--yikes! I gotta go pack something. :D

[Cadam]

Good for you!!
:party:

[strider]

Glad the boundaries are working--even gladder you'll be gone soon!

Have you got your temporary housing settled?

[klmama]

Remembering the other things you've shared about this couple, particularly with the 2 yo, I urge you to be outside any time your dc are out there. These people aren't quite right, KWIM? It really does sound like they are trying to "groom" the dc. Going into another neighbor's yard to talk with your dc over the fence so they could be closer to your dog and kids? Yikes! Please don't count on the older ones to tattle after the fact - be there yourself! The weather is nice. Take your book or laptop out, if you want, but be there!

[CalicoKat]

Glad the boundaries are working--even gladder you'll be gone soon!

Have you got your temporary housing settled?
We do have some place to go--a local hotel. But it's very expensive. We've been trying to secure a rental apartment or house, townhouse but either they won't agree to a very short lease or we've got 1 too many people in our family. Very frustrating.

But yesterday dh did go to a the hotel and view their 2 room suite with a kitchenette. It's going to be tight, but we'll manage. They do have a pool :001_smile:

[CalicoKat]

Remembering the other things you've shared about this couple, particularly with the 2 yo, I urge you to be outside any time your dc are out there. These people aren't quite right, KWIM? It really does sound like they are trying to "groom" the dc. Going into another neighbor's yard to talk with your dc over the fence so they could be closer to your dog and kids? Yikes! Please don't count on the older ones to tattle after the fact - be there yourself! The weather is nice. Take your book or laptop out, if you want, but be there!
I think you're absolultely dead on right, and it scares me. I can't count on the kids to tattle--they love them! But they're the scariest nicest people I know right now. I've been practicing my sprint!

[Pamela H in Texas]

oops....didn't realize the thread was older until after I posted.

I'm glad things are going a little better with the dogs. Kids are much easier cuz you can just order them. No dog, without you standing over them, is going to refuse a treat though.

[CalicoKat]

Good Grief! According to my kids, the neighbor lady has renamed my dog, Rosebud.

When did this happen--yesterday while I taking a Mother's Day nap. Obviously dh had alot going on with 5 kids to feed, clothe, diaper, cleanup after, parent, etc. :D I had a reeeaaally long nap.

[yvonne]

I'd cover the bottom of the window so the dogs couldn't see out.

How about giving her a box of doggie treats or biscuits or something that your dogs are allowed to have and letting her give those to the dogs? :)

[Tracy in Ky]

Plant bamboo!

[melissel]

Good Grief! According to my kids, the neighbor lady has renamed my dog, Rosebud.

When did this happen--yesterday while I taking a Mother's Day nap. Obviously dh had alot going on with 5 kids to feed, clothe, diaper, cleanup after, parent, etc. :D I had a reeeaaally long nap.

For pete's sake! I bet you're counting the hours until you are out of that house!

[Mom2GirlsTX]

these people totally creep me out. I'm thinking that the neighbors behind me who don't clean up after their livestock, leaving me with tons of flies, are dream neighbors compared to this. (not that I don't love livestock, but we are in the city, and he has 10 miniature horses, 5 goats, and 2 large horses on less than an acre and never ever ever poop scoops the area even though he has a tractor). So my point? Horseflies that bite are better than your super creepy neighbors. No advice other than guard those babies of yours!

[CalicoKat]

For pete's sake! I bet you're counting the hours until you are out of that house!
19 days and counting. . . .we moved our move-out date up a week because of these people. We haven't told the kids so they're going to be surprised!

[Elisabeth in IL]

You'll be moving closer to me so we'll definately have to meet. :D

[CalicoKat]

You'll be moving closer to me so we'll definately have to meet. :D
sounds like a plan. :001_smile: