Would you let your 12yo ds see the Superhero Movie? [Archive] - The Well-Trained Mind Forums (aka Hive Mind)

nestof3

04-06-2008, 08:20 AM

No.

Here's the review I read.

PROFANITY (http://www.screenit.com/subscribers/movies/2008/superhero_movie.asp#chart) At least 1 "f" word, 23 "s" words, 1 slang term using female genitals ("p*ssies"), 1 incomplete one using male ones ("c*ck"), 7 asses, 5 ****s, 3 hells, 1 S.O.B., 2 uses of "God" and 1 use each of "Good God," "Jesus," "My God," "Oh Jesus," "Oh my God" and "Swear to God."
SEX/NUDITY (http://www.screenit.com/subscribers/movies/2008/superhero_movie.asp#chart) All of the following is played for comedy.
We see Rick adjusting his clothed crotch in his superhero outfit.
Jill shows varying amounts of cleavage (sometimes a lot) in various outfits throughout the movie.
Referring to his laptop, Trey tells Rick he has to show him some nasty stuff he downloaded. We hear a goat sound, but don't see anything.
Trying to clean animal dung off his shirt, Rick unknowingly uses a bottle of animal pheromones as a liquid base. We then see a montage of various animals attracted to him (as we hear Dr. Strom commenting on the pheromones being a strong sexual attractant), with a dog humping his leg, a bunny and skunk humping his arms, and a snail saying (in subtitles) for them to hold him down as he's on his way. Rick then accidentally spills more of the liquid on him, drawing even more animals, and we then see him lying on the floor, covered by animals humping away (with a close-up of the snail doing the same and saying, "Take it all, *****.").
Aunt Lucille and Uncle Albert talk about their marriage, with Aunt Lucille telling him he's always had a small penis.
Thinking Rick's going through puberty, Uncle Albert reads to him from a book about such matters, including a line that he'll bleed from his vagina once a month (that's heard again in a later aural flashback).
Uncle Albert gives Rick (a high school student) a beer. About the rituals of becoming a man, Uncle Albert then says today it's the beer, tomorrow they'll have Rick circumcised.
Uncle Albert gets up from being in bed with Rick (nothing sexual) and we see him in his t-shirt and boxers.
Rick fills out answers for an online questionnaire, and one of them is if he's ever had sexual intercourse. He answers yes, but the computer replies about him lying. He then admits he's a virgin, with the computer returning the line, "You're sh*tting me. What a loser."
Rick looks out his window to next door where he sees Jill in her bra (showing lots of cleavage). He looks excited when she starts to remove the bra, but it turns out she's wearing another one under the first. She then holds up various pairs of panties, each successively smaller than the one before it, and eventually fashions one out of a few meager strings of dental floss (but we don't see her lower body). During that, Rick leaves for a moment and ends up looking out the wrong window where he spots a shirtless, overweight man rubbing his own chest.
A Stephen Hawking lookalike (similarly suffering from Lou Gehrig's Disease) complains that the high school students can have sex, and that he has a nurse who's a lesbian, but not the hot kind.
Due to his superhero powers, Rick's hands become "sticky" and he accidentally tears off all of an overweight man's clothes save for his boxers, while Rick lands on top of his teacher, with his hands stuck on her clothed breasts. He then ends up repeatedly pulling them up from her chest in an exaggerated fashion, and we then see that part of the fabric is gone from her top in those two areas (but no bare breasts are seen).
After Trey comments on the fame and money aspect that comes with being a superhero, Uncle Albert says, "Don't forget the *****es."
When Uncle Albert talks to Rick about the boy's late father, Uncle Albert says he "had sex with your mother, just like your father."
In a flashback, young Rick's mom shows cleavage in a dress.
A woman yells out a window to Jill, telling the latter she's a whore just like her mother. When Rick asks who that is, Jill says it's her mother.
Rick receives a partially garbled message from Dr. Xavier, with snippets from the latter commenting on squatting on a glass table, two girls, and just one cup.
Rick and Aunt Lucille go to see a banker about a loan for the former, but the man denies that. He then comments that Aunt Lucille rubbing his crotch under the table isn't going to change his mind. She says she wasn't, with Rick then saying he's desperate for the loan.
Wounded, Uncle Albert starts to give Rick advice about what comes with great power. Rick finishes his thought with "great responsibility," but Uncle Albert says he was going to say "*****es" and then comments on the boy seemingly wanting to stay a virgin the rest of his life.
Lou grabs a woman's arm and she turns old and dies. He then tries to stuff her body into a cabinet, but to a janitor who enters the room, it looks like Lou is having rear entry intercourse with her (as he rhythmically tries stuffing her body into the cabinet).
A hospital doctor suddenly announces he has to perform a breast exam and reaches for Jill's clothed breasts, but stops short.
At a school for mutants, a boy stretches his long arm across the lawn to take a photo up a girl's skirt. In response, she sends her stretchy leg back at him to kick him in the crotch.
Dr. Xavier apparently cheated on his wife with the Invisible Woman (not seen, but the wife is mad). As a result, the wife hits and grabs at the adulteress (briefly seen as Pamela Anderson sporting a lot of cleavage).
A police captain says that what the city needs is more cops, as well as a Hooters.
Mimicking a scene from "Spider-Man," Rick (as Dragonfly) and Jill nearly kiss as he hangs upside down in the rain. However, the fire escape ladder he's on slips a bit, leaving the two in the "69" position (standing), but she scoots him back upwards. The two then passionately kiss while standing normally, and we then the shape of her nipples as well as his under their respective shirts.
As we hear that Lou's never been married, someone asks "Fruitcake?" (while offering him some of that), but he says no, he simply never met the right woman.
As Rick and Lou exchange faked stories of how they received various cuts and bruises, Lou says he met a woman on an Internet site. He then asks Rick about the same on him, and Rick says he met a man on the same.
A doctor informs Uncle Albert that they mistakenly did a sex change operation on him. He adds that they didn't cut off his penis, but did remove his testicles, not that he'll be needing them now that his wife is dead.
At his wife's funeral, Uncle Albert jumps into the open casket, but is informed that he has the wrong woman (pointed out by roughly turning Aunt Lucille's prematurely aged head on her body). We then see that Uncle Albert has his hands on the other dead woman's clothed breasts, and asks for five more minutes as he starts to close the casket lid while still on top of the body. Moments later, we see him holding that dead woman's bra.
A song has the lyric, "Making love was just for fun."
As Rick walks along forlorn, he sees various couples making out on the street, including one lying on a woman on a bench, while others are seen under the covers in beds out on the street. He even sees two wiggly inflatables (tall and thin cylinders) that bounce off each other, but soon appear to be humping, including in the rear entry sex position.
Rick looks at Jill's photo in the yearbook, and below another person's photo it seems to read "most orgasmic."
Among the things that Uncle Albert mentions are inscribed on the ring once owned by Rick's late father, one of them is "cheap Internet porn."
Thinking he's Hourglass, Rick (as Dragonfly) grabs the Dalai Lama and rips off his robe, revealing him in just a wrapping around his waist area. Rick then says it looks like he's hiding something in there, so Rick rips that off as well, meaning everyone else sees him nude (we don't), including the Pope who takes a photo.
A miscellaneous guy dressed up like Dragonfly tells Jill (when she comes to) that he's her lover, but Rick shoos him away.
An explosive device lands on Rick's crotch (as Dragonfly) and he tells Jill, "I need you to yank this off" (but it explodes before she can).
In the outtakes, Jill says she was told her breasts are too big for her to be a dancer, so she jiggles them around to prove that point, all in front of Rick.
In the outtakes, a woman bends over in her jeans away from Stephen Hawking and he comments on her having an "incredible ass."
In the outtakes, Trey asks Rick if he can see through tube-tops.
In the outtakes, Trey says he has a superhero name for himself, and after opening his shirt to reveal a t-shirt with a rooster on it, he starts to say he's "The Incredible Black C*ck," but Rick cuts him short.
In the outtakes, we see a window view of Jill in her bra and panties as she reaches for something up near the ceiling, holding onto a brass pole while doing so. She then spins herself around that pole like a pole dancer.
In the outtakes, we hear someone asking that if sleeping with someone means you're, in effect, sleeping with everyone they slept with, does that make you gay (and the answer given is yes).