I got my first comment today - about HS'ing

[Novafan]

And I'm not letting it eat me up, but I wanted to share, because I was perplexed as to WHY this woman said this to me.

We joined the "Y" two weeks ago so that I could take the kids to "open swim" for some Phys. Ed and some fun.

We went for an hour today and the life guard on duty was very involved with us while we were there. She took my kids into the equipment room and let them pick out some pool toys and flippers and was giving them some free, off the clock swimming tips and what not. She pretty much talked to me and the kids the entire time. At one point she asked if we were homeschoolers and I told her yes. I immediately followed her question with a very positive, "Oh, and do you happen to know other HS'ers who come here for Open Swim? We'd love to link up with them." She said she knew that some did come to free swim, but didn't personally know them. That was about all the HS-related talk we had.

Anyway, my kids played and she kept on talking to us. She was very nice. She told me that she has 2 boys, ages 9 and 16.

Now, my kids are BUSY children. They never stop moving and they are lively - YES, sometimes rowdy - but in general, they are happy, lively, energetic kids. They keep me busy! And for the purpose of this story, they WERE busy and a little loud and all over the place, but they were not bad! They were not out of control. My 3 year old DD had one little fit over something, but it was over in about 10 seconds and she was on to something else. My boys splashed and swam and had a BLAST!

As we were leaving and heading to the family changing room she calls over to me and says, "See you next week!" I said, "Thanks! Thanks for getting all of the toys out for the kids and for helping me with the kids today."

And to that she says, "No problem . . . (wait for it) . . . For YOUR sake I hope they go to public school next year." And that was it and she walked away.

WHAT? WHAT ON EARTH? What was that supposed to mean?

a) Was she simply suggesting, with no background info at all, that my children would be better off in public school?

b) Was she trying to say that "for MY sake" that I would be better off if I just put them in public school? Because they are busy? And I work very hard to care for my busy, energetic children? I know for a fact that I did not give off a vibe that I am stressed out or worn out by my children. In fact, we only just started HS'ing in January and to be perfectly honest, I am doing a better job taking care of ME and my needs than I ever did when they were in school.

c) Was she trying to suggest that public school might sedate my very energetic children and make them easier to handle? I find this hilarious because my most energetic and busiest child (my 3 year old DD) DOES go to school! She goes to Montessori school 5 days a week from 8:30 - 12:30.

I didn't even reply to her comment and I wasn't mad, just very very confused as to the meaning of her comment.

Anyway, I received my first HS'ing comment today. Oh well. Just wanted to share.

[Stacy in NJ]

I would take it to mean that because they are high energy taking care of them is a demanding job. She probably only meant in a funny (ha-ha) kinda way that kids are handful and you need a break.

[gardenschooler]

I think she probably meant something along the lines of, "Oh, I can't wait for my kids to get back in school. Summer vacation is almost unbearable. I can't believe my eyes, watching you take care of your kids in the middle of a school day! How much more leisurely your Y visits would be without those pesky kids!"

Just a guess.

[Kim in TN]

OUCH!

I wouldn't know how to take that either. :confused:

[Carol in Cal.]

I think that she thought that you were doing a great job of handling the children, who are high energy so they need a fair amount of supervision, and that you might enjoy a break. That's all. Really.

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

You know, I think homeschooling was only tangentially related to her comment. I believe it was a poor attempt at humorous commiseration...you know the "boy you sure have your hands full" type of thing people say. She probably meant she thought you worked really hard and needed a break, but misspoke. People who don't teach their kids at home don't realize that for most of us, this is our vocation, not just something we do in our spare time, KWIM? So when they toss off comments like that, they don't realize the insult inherent in their words.

Barb

[Janet in WA]

My first thought is that it was her clumsy way of saying she thinks you might appreciate a break from being with your energetc sons all day.

And yes, that comment would eat at me for a while too. No matter what the meaning.

[Novafan]

Thanks for tossing some ideas around to what she meant.

Really, I didn't take this to heart at all, even though it may seem that way because I chose to share it here.

And I agree, that the most likely explanation for her comment is that they are really busy kids and that it appears that I get no relief from their action.

She was so helpful and kind to us for the hour that we were there, so I'm not bitter and I'm not going to harbor ill feelings for her just because I thought her comment was odd.

I'll probably see her quite a bit as the "Y" is now a part of our weekly routine.

[Philothea]

Some people just cannot understand why a parent would even want to be around their own children all day.

It is so sad when children are undervalued and seen as a burden or just part of a phase of life that has to be completed.

Our time with our children is so precious and I am sure you were offended because you cherish every minute!

[Julpost]

I think she didn't mean anything insulting by it, she was just trying to be commiserating and perhaps funny. It just came out clumsy and all wrong.

What I've noticed about myself (this is strange, but what better place to share it than on an online, public forum!) is that when I homeschooled, I loved having my dc around, I did not feel overwhelmed by them, and I didn't really feel like I need retreats or get-away-from-it-all time. HOWEVER, when I sent the kids to ps, boy, when they come home, all of a sudden, I can barely handle the noise and action. I just want to send them out to play. I am totally overwhelmed with them now. Honestly, I almost can't wait for bedtime. (isn't that awful??)

What gives me hope is that I LOVE, LOVE it when they are home for vacations and weekends. I'm pretty excited to start homeschooling again next year!

[Michelle in TX]

This isn't really the same subject being discussed on this thread, but I wanted to share what the YMCA in my town offers homeschoolers. There are 2 nearby locations and they both offer a Homeschool PE class from 1-2pm two days a week. It is free for members and cost $20 a month for non-members. I love it because I can exercise while the kids are having fun with other kids, doing strength building activites, working on sports skills, and playing games. I've also met other homeschool moms and made some new friends. They also have open swim times for homeschoolers on some Friday afternoons. It may be something you can suggest to your YMCA. :)

[Peek a Boo]

I'm going to weigh in on the "she was trying to be humorous" side of the discussion.

next week, you might wanna have a couple comments in hand to deliver:

"OH! i hope they DON't go to school -- I'd miss them so much!!"

or my fave:

"nah --they keep ME outta trouble ;)"

[Lizzie in Ma]

Especially not after all her helpfulness and conversation.

[Susie in CA]

I would take it to mean that because they are high energy taking care of them is a demanding job. She probably only meant in a funny (ha-ha) kinda way that kids are handful and you need a break.

Ditto!