SO....I have this child...

[Eleni]

who is 7.5....and has always thrown me for a loop. He is resistant to being taught, unless he initiates it, and reading has been a struggle for us...and then I dropped it. My nearly 6yo on the other hand is easy to teach, grasps things easily and quickly and wants to be challenged. My eldest noticed his little bro was surpassing him, and he got upset and determined to catch up...so he brought me the phonics book we are using and said "mom, lets do this" I told him ok, and he went charging through it for a week...then the resistance came back.

:glare:

so now...he is sounding out EVERY single word he sees, while we are driving it is non-stop sounding things out, and he is getting several words correctly. He opened up his Star Wars book (big nerdy guide to the world of Star Wars) and started working on reading it. But, when I initiate a lesson it is like Im asking him to walk on hot coals.

What do I do with him? Teaching him can be an exercise in futility sometimes and I just dont get it. :tongue_smilie:

[j.griff]

Sounds like an unschooling candidate IMO

[Cheryl in NM]

I agree somewhat with Jenn. Just let the reading lessons go. Use the sounding out as teaching moments. Answer all reading/phonics questions and offer to help when he seems to have a particularly tough time with a word. He just needs to figure it out on his own.

I have found with my son that we need to take breaks from subjects that are giving him a hard time. We took a whole year off math and he is barely behind grade level. Reading was especially hard and so I quit pushing. He finally learned to read at 7, but still didn't "want" to "learn". I used BOB books and Pathway Readers for him, even at that age because they were easy. Eventually, he wanted to read so he put in more effort.

My thoughts are with you. It's difficult when you have a child that insists on marching to the beat of their very own, very unique drum!

[beansprouts]

I am afraid I may be heading in this direction with my 4 year old. He is very bright - but will only be taught on his terms *sigh*

[Sue G in PA]

My now 8yo was much the same way. Resistant to reading, resistant to anything *I* wanted him to do. Fast forward 3 yrs...he's reading well beyond his level, does math a level ahead and is very, very bright (albeit a bit lazy :glare:). I'm glad we didn't push him. We let him decide when he was ready to move forward.

Ds5 is the same way. No interest in letters, numbers, ABC song, school, coloring, etc. Then along comes dd2 who is exceptionally bright and curious and a very quick learner. She knows her ABC song and letters by sight (almost by sound), can count to 20 in Eng. and Spanish (thanks, Dora!), has a phenomenal vocab. for a 2yo, etc. Ds5 is now realizing he might want to "catch up". And guess what? HE IS! B/c HE wants to learn...he is learning. He went from absolutely no knowledge of ANY letters to knowing almost the entire alphabet (w/out much instruction from me, might I add!).

I won't eve get started on my bright ds6 who wants NOTHING to do with academics right now. :glare:

My advice? Let him choose books from the library that interest him at or below his level. Read aloud to him. Play math games. Read some more. Make crafts, lapbooks, anything that interests him. Start a nature study and let him keep his own nature book, etc. He'll be okay. Really. :)

[Ohio12]

I may be the lone voice of dissension, but I am going to speak up anyway. My oldest only likes to do what she initiates too, but I mandate 2 learning sessions a day anyway. Fifteen minutes in the morning of letters or math and 15 minutes in the afternoon during quiet time of reading lesson with me. I find doing the same little routine every day really cuts down on the bad attitude, and the better she gets at it, the more she likes it.

I really think they should be expected to do some things they don't want to do. Keep it short and fun, but insist on some work and a good attitude.

[beansprouts]

I may be the lone voice of dissension, but I am going to speak up anyway. My oldest only likes to do what she initiates too, but I mandate 2 learning sessions a day anyway. Fifteen minutes in the morning of letters or math and 15 minutes in the afternoon during quiet time of reading lesson with me. I find doing the same little routine every day really cuts down on the bad attitude, and the better she gets at it, the more she likes it.

I really think they should be expected to do some things they don't want to do. Keep it short and fun, but insist on some work and a good attitude.

I tend to lean toward this line of thinking as well.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I have one of those. "If it's Mom's idea, it's a bad idea." That seemed to be his motto for years and years. He wouldn't do anything educational. If I tried to play a math game with him, or any type of game that might teach him something he'd play for a little while. But, as soon as he realized he was being taught, he'd simply say, "This is school!", and he'd stop playing.

But, I also noticed that he had always had his own way of learning things, from the time he was a baby. He was slow in walking (by "normal" standards), but then, one day, he just stood up and did it. He decided to ride a bike when he was 4, and wouldn't give up until he could do it. He was jumping curbs at 4 1/2. He had absolutely no interest in letters or reading until he was 6 1/2. But, then he determined to read, and within a year was reading at a 4th grade level. He resisted my teaching, and frequently seemed to be "behind", but once he decided to learn something, he won't give up until he's mastered it.

He's still like that in many ways (especially drawing). But, he has also accepted the routine of daily lessons. I kept his lessons short, and kept plugging away. He's 10 1/2 now, and still learns in leaps and starts. He'll plateau for awhile, then jump ahead. He still surprises himself. Just when he starts getting frustrated and thinking he's stupid, he'll wake up one morning and understand everything. I've learned to trust him.

Trust your kid. It sounds like your doing great. Just keep plugging away, a little each day. That way, when he's ready to learn, he'll have the opportunity.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Having motivation to push yourself is a great thing. Not being teachable is a very bad thing. I think that it is great to encourage your son to take initiative, to work hard on something etc. But when we are having school-time, I expect and require my dc to listen to my guidance as a teacher. They are not allowed to talk back to me or resist me. Yes, in early days, I spent more time training my very strong-willed ds to listen to me than actually teaching. But as he's gotten older, he has come face to face with things that he has not been able to teach himself. If he were not willing to be taught, we would be giving up homeschooling by this time.

[Amy in Orlando]

Sounds like an unschooling candidate IMO

That's what I'm thinking too. Let him go, help him when he needs it. He's still VERY young.

Have you read any books on unschooling? I think it can be a really good option for a kid determined to learn it himself. Like all of homeschooling, nothing is permanent, but for now this might be the way to go for you guys.