any advice on how to handle kids who are sensitive to boo-boo's?

[Dianne-TX]

My ds7 and dd5 are not very tough when it comes to boo-boo's. My ds is the worst one. My dd has her moments, but usually gets over it quick. I've wondered if sometimes she reacts that way from being around ds and his reactions all these years. I've accepted that he is the way he is, but I'm just wondering if there is any good advice on how to handle this. I tend to be non-emotional to not add to the stress of the situation, but then I feel like I'm not being emotional enough and that I'm not being "that" kind of mommy who can be sensitive, yet handle the situation. I just want to handle it in a compassionate, yet effective way and help my kids become strong. Does that make sense? Will age and maturity be the ultimate answer? I just don't want them to remember me as harsh. Thanks for any advice.

[Mrs Mungo]

Usually (that being a key word), kids just want an acknowledgment. A simple "oh my! That must of hurt! Where did you hurt yourself? That's too bad. Try and wiggle it. I think you'll be OK, I'm sorry you got hurt," will suffice with most kids.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Ds10 has always been very sensitive to boo-boos. If he scraped his knee, he literally would hop around (not putting any weight on it) for over a day! I am very unemotional about the whole process because unfortunately if I gave him any sympathy it would make things worse (ie. his cries etc. would escalate). He has gotten better with age. He will still scream when he initially gets hurt but he will calm down while I treat him (as long as the treatment itself is relatively painless - unfortunately we had to physically restrain him once when he got a metal fragment in his eye and it HAD to come out - can you imagine trying to get it out with him screaming and thrashing?!!!!) But - still, it has gotten better with age!

[abbeyej]

I agree with others. Give an unemotional acknowledgment that the injury hurt, but absolutely no more sympathy than the injury truly deserves, or the overreaction will simply escalate (and not just for this particular incident, but for all following incidents). Statements like, "Yes, that looks like it hurts. Why don't you get an ice pack from the freezer and hold it on for a few minutes." or "Oh, I know that hurts, but the best thing you can do is keep walking around on it so it doesn't get stiff."

Truly, it doesn't make you a cruel mother for not indulging a child's overreactions to injury. You're helping them to gain a better perspective on what is an appropriate response for a minor injury.

I always think back about the Michel Odent illustration of the two midwives -- the one very matter-of-fact doing her knitting nearby and the other very hands-on and sympathetic. In the end, the first midwife's patients reported less pain and had fewer complications than the second midwife's...

[MichelleWI]

I agree with avoiding too much sympathy and essentially feeding the situation.

I have one child who is very sensitive to many things. Little injuries tend to hurt her more than anyone else would feel pain from the same scratch or bump. I've handled it by teaching her to take care of herself. She is allowed to apply cream or lotion if infection isn't a concern. She puts the antibiotic cream on the bandage for other injuries. She gets her own ice pack or cold, wet washcloth.

I avoid medicating my children in general unless it is really, truly called for. I can see the potential for the child I've mentioned to go through life seeking meds for every discomfort, as that is her nature, so I have actively worked at showing her other treatments for things.

[mcconnellboys]

I simply acknowledge quickly, in a matter-of-fact way and tell why it's not that serious (i.e., it's not deep; it's just bleeding a lot because the skin is thin here and so there are a lot of little vessels near the surface, etc.). I try to keep some form of antiseptic and band-aids with me wherever we are so that I can bandage it. They generally feel everything's A-OK once that bandage goes on, LOL.

I suggest ice, if appropriate, but let them decide. Or I suggest propping it up for a minute if there's an ache, etc. They generally become bored with inactivity and want to get back to play, so my admonitions to take time out tend to make them restless enough to forget the injury in order to get away from me, LOL.....

Regena

[elegantlion]

My ds10 is that way. Dh tends to go overboard, he is very protective. I am quite the opposite. I used to work in an animal hospital and have multiple scars from injuries there. I also got scrapped up a lot as a kid.

My standard questions are
1. is anything falling off?
2. is there blood gushing (sorry if too graphic)?

If not, we clean it, and put a band aid on it. My ds is obssesed with band-aids. As a toddler I caught sitting in front of the hall closet opening all the band-aids putting them on himself. He got a box in his Christmas stocking that year.

He will still put a band-aid on injury, no matter how insignificant. I've learned to be a little sympathetic, however, it makes him feel better.