Is this a good enough reason?

[novagirl]

Hello, we are thinking of afterschooling next year. Just wanted to get some thoughts out there. Wondering if anyone else is afterschooling because of lack of support in the homeschooling community. We just do not have much available for the younger children. 4th or 5th grade and up, sure, lots to do. No co-ops available that I know of. I'd also have to drive a half an hour each way for any activity we can participate in. I have been trying for two years to get my dd and ds son connected. It seems to me that my DD is very social much more than I am and I'm thinking she wants way more than I can offer. The neighborhood children her age moved out.

I hesitate though because she'll be put in a 1st grade class. She'll be done with first grade math and has been reading at a 2nd grade level for quite some time. She would be placed in a very small christian school with about 8 others. We already participate in dance, gym, swim and soccer throughout the year. The problem is, we don't get to see the same families on a consistent basis and therefore have no real way to connect. We are christian but do not belong to a church. Long story wont go into it now. :001_smile:

Finally, I am wearing down. My husband can work 90 hour weeks and I have no other help or support. I don't know if I can give the effort that it would take to give her the education she needs. It sounds bad, but I feel I'm getting lazy.

[Starr]

i would home school her. It takes as much time to get them ready for school, homework, after schooling and helping at school. Make playdates with families from your activities. It sounds like she's doing well. She'll be tired after school as well.

[novagirl]

Thanks you:001_smile:

[scrapbookbuzz]

That's a tough decision. And I understand your mental gymnastics on this. It does take alot of time to prep for school and let them unwind after. And here's a quote from Ken Ham that may help you, "How much time does it take you to de-program your children of all (the unbiblical contamination) after school each day?" I'm paraphrasing a bit, but you get the point. You might also want to think about WHY you've chosen to homeschool.

Believe me, I understand the social interraction need. My ds 5.5 is FULL of energy and constantly asks, "Can I play with someone?" I do what I can to make playdates for him but I also know the why, and what, God has called us to do. Neither Public School, nor any other outside school, will lead us to those goals. HTH!

[novagirl]

Really good advice, ya got me thinkin':001_smile:

[melissel]

Have you tried getting connected to others online? I started a Meetup group for young HSers way back when I was getting started, and ultimately I developed my own weekly playgroup. Only one mom was within a 15-minute drive--the others drove a half hour or more to get to us. I think it's not uncommon for there to not be too much for younger kids to do--it's only been in the last few months that there's been an increase in activities in our area, mainly because the same small group of parents got sick of there being nothing for the little kids to do :lol: At the time I started my playgroup, for kids in our age range, the only other real opportunity (in the area) was soccer, so my group got us all over that hump and was a great support.

I always tend to think that if you're feeling like there's not enough to do, you're probably not the only one. Check into (or start) the Meetup groups or Yahoo! groups to see if anyone else is looking to connect in your area. What about Scout groups (or the Christian alternatives, if you don't care for Girl Scouts)? I agree that you could start connecting with other HSers at your activities and start arranging playdates from there.

our post sounds like you might be feeling burned out and maybe a little depressed (with the caveat, of course, that this is the Internet, so emotions don't necessarily translate accurately ;)) Would addressing that help you at all? Maybe you could hire a sitter or a mother's helper so you can start having some downtime just for yourself. Alone time often helps to freshen my perspective when I'm burned out.

Only you can decide what will work for you, though :grouphug:

[Mama2Three]

We "before-school" for my oldest DS. He is smart as a whip but has sensory issues (is a sensory-seeker) and some related attention issues. I started down the homeschooling research path because I thought the school wouldn't be able to provide the type of support that he needs. While I homeschool my DD and keep the option open for my DS, I know that homeschooling him full time would be quite a challenge for me. I have to say that the school has been amazing with him, so at this time, public school is the best option for him and our family.

I beforeschool DS to fill in any gaps, including phonics, writing, and math. It's really incredible what he learns in 15-20 minutes a day. He is at the top of his class in math and reads well above grade level. We school most mornings before public school and many Saturdays. We also homeschool during the summer, maybe an hour/day for him then. Of course, we have some weeks off during the holidays, vacations, special situations, etc, but I find that keeping the routine year-round works best for my DC. If you think that the Christian school is a good fit, then investigate that option. You have to decide what will be the best fit for your whole family, including you. Beforeschooling or afterschooling may be a viable option that would fit your family, just trust yourself to make the best decision for your family.

By the way, I'm in Northern VA. Is that what the novagirl refers to?

[TracyR]

You know what? I'll join your club. I have the same problem. I've been homeschooling for about 8yrs now and have found that my girls are way more social then I ever was when I was young. That we have no co-ops available unless I travel 45 minutes away and we live in the snow belt so most times while there is a co-op going on that its not worth traveling on the roads to go to.
People in our area don't want to do anything, participate in anything or get together to do anything. Its like pulling teeth. I mean our local YMCA barely stays afloat because people are so flippin lazy (they rely on daycare to stay open). A friend of mine even has tried starting a special needs group and you know how many attend that? Two. Her and I. We've done things to advertise, paper advertising, putting it in the community calendar, out community t.v channel, word of mouth, telling therapists, facebook, email. You name it. People just don't come period.
After 8yrs of homeschooling we managed to pull together a day where we went bowling with a family, and you know what? I'm sure that its the last time we ever do anything because it took a lot of foot work on MY end to actually get it to happen. I don't see them extending their hand any time soon to do something with us even though we had a really good time. Arranging play dates is next to impossible because homeschoolers are to busy doing their own thing to even care to get together with other families. Its quite sad actually.
I think my girls are just getting plain lonely. We do things like soccer and swimming and gymnastics and karate , etc. But they are busy taking the lessons and get to spend very little time socializing with the kids. Its really tough because even I feel lonely living where I live. I know for me to try and get a group together is a pure waste of time whether it being local or online.
I actually find the brick and mortar school parents to be more friendly than the homeschoolers in our area.

Plus I'm dealing with health issues and after 8yrs am feeling worn down myself.
I wouldn't feel guilty about it. Just do what feels right for you.

[Katrina J]

Your reasons are good enough for me. I guess it just comes down to personal choice really but I really don't see school as a bad thing. Both my children DD 7.5 and DS 4.5 really enjoy school most days and I find the negative influences are minimal. We live in a good suburb just around the corner from a medium sized public school with good facilities, plenty of grassy play areas and a diverse range of academic, sporting and cultural programs.

If I home schooled my children they would most likely be a bit further ahead with their reading, mathematics, writing, music, history and geography but I would really struggle to provide all the other things my children get from school even if I took them to a whole lot of outside classes. You can hear when it is playtime at school from our house and I know my children would feel lonely and left out if they weren't at school enjoying the sunshine with friends. The three of us enjoy our school holidays together but we always look forward to going back to school - we're motivated and energised by the company of others and we'd struggle to maintain our momentum at home.

This is not a criticism of homeschooling, just letting you know what works for us. I don't see any harm in trying out your local school. If it doesn't work out you can always return to homeschooling.

Best of luck with your decision,

Katrina

[Liza Q]

If your daughter is ready for more challenging work, why do they want to put her into the First Grade? If this school has rigid rules about things like this your daughter may end up bored...not a good thing!

[MBM]

If your daughter is ready for more challenging work, why do they want to put her into the First Grade? If this school has rigid rules about things like this your daughter may end up bored...not a good thing!

I agree. And if she's bored, she might end up viewing school negatively. Definitely not good.

[novagirl]

I guess I just assumed they would keep her in first grade as when we were showed the classrooms and met the teacher they said that the first grade teacher would be hers. We had neighbor friends who went there and they were told that if the child in question was preforming at a higher level, say in math, that they would just go to the next grades classroom for math but it never happened. I don't know if I'd have to ask them to test her or just bring in all of her completed CLE Grade 1 math to show them or what.

[lisamarie]

I guess I just assumed they would keep her in first grade as when we were showed the classrooms and met the teacher they said that the first grade teacher would be hers. We had neighbor friends who went there and they were told that if the child in question was preforming at a higher level, say in math, that they would just go to the next grades classroom for math but it never happened. I don't know if I'd have to ask them to test her or just bring in all of her completed CLE Grade 1 math to show them or what.

This is why we are HSing another year. I pulled DS out of school this past October and when I went to enroll him back into the school for next year they said that since I pulled him out of K, they would put him into 1st grade even if he was way advanced for 1st grade. They don't test the kids to reenter until they hit 2nd grade. So if we decide to put DS back into school, they will have to test him and then will see that he needs to advance a grade.

I have extremely social kids and it is pretty lonely to be a HSer even living in an area with a very active HS group. I tried a co-op and it just wasn't a good fit so I dropped out after 2 times. There are a ton of HSing families in my church and many of them live within 10 minutes of my house. But I NEVER see them outside of church. It is actually pretty frustrating to me because we are all so lonely and I would love to do playdates with them. Even once a month field trips would be great. I am actually seriously contemplating putting my kids into school after next year just because of the social aspect. I am going to give it another year and see if things improve and hopefully we can find some other HSers we can meet up with regularly.

All that to say that having an active HS group in your area doesn't necessarily make any difference. We are going to put my DS into cub scouts next year which meets twice a month and I am praying that helps the social situation. I'm also looking into 4-H. I'm not really a co-op type person, but I am happy to put them into extra curricular activities that involve things that I wouldn't necessarily even think to teach my kids.

[Renai]

People in our area don't want to do anything, participate in anything or get together to do anything. Its like pulling teeth. I mean our local YMCA barely stays afloat because people are so flippin lazy (they rely on daycare to stay open). A friend of mine even has tried starting a special needs group and you know how many attend that? Two. Her and I. We've done things to advertise, paper advertising, putting it in the community calendar, out community t.v channel, word of mouth, telling therapists, facebook, email. You name it. People just don't come period. ...Arranging play dates is next to impossible because homeschoolers are to busy doing their own thing to even care to get together with other families. Its quite sad actually.


I read these parts of the post and had to check where you were from to see if you weren't talking about here! It is pretty frustrating.

[novagirl]

I read these parts of the post and had to check where you were from to see if you weren't talking about here! It is pretty frustrating.


Gee!!!! We all must live in the same general area!!;):lol: I was checkin' to see where she was from too!
SO GLAD to hear that I am not alone on this!

[workingmom]

you have to decide if ps is meeting her needs. if so then nothing wrong with it. but i personally felt with all the supplementing and afterschooling after a full day of school it was too much. life has been so much less stressful with homeschooling and working at our pace. ds is ahead by a year and he's enjoying the learning. i felt when he was in private school for kg he wasn't being challenged and that love of learning wasn't blossoming.

[2sweetgirls]

My daughter is lonely too. That's why we're going back to afterschooling next year after trying homeschooling. I understand completely as I'm happier in a group environment as well. I could never do online college courses.

Yes, she will be somewhat bored but she loves being around other children so much that it doesn't matter to her anymore. She completes her work quickly and loves to help the teacher with errands. She's a really good kid, and hasn't picked up any bad habits from other children (yet). If she started behaving differently then I would rethink the whole situation.