The Young and the Restless

[KatatonicState]

My DD turns 4 next month. We started doing "formal" school with her about three months ago when her questions about...well...everything were driving me nuts. :)

She's progressing well with reading and math and asks for school every day. (Even on the weekend when we don't do it). I try to keep it interesting for her -- in addition to our reading (Bob's books and Ordinary Parents being the backbone), we use Destination Math and Starfall online, we also have worksheets (which she loves), hands on experiments/projects, little art projects, etc. And we always have a theme (this week and last's was reflection and refraction; next week will be Earth Day and recycling).

But I have a problem... DD likes to goof off during our school time for two reasons -- either she gets the concept so she's bored OR she's having a hard time wrapping her head around the concept. I can't always tell the difference since the behavior is the same. Most recently, this behavior has been happening with our money lessons -- I'm working through the Kumon Counting Change book with her which is VERY repititious. If I see that she's got the concept, I don't make her do all the exercises for a given lesson. Some of the material is a little challenging for her -- now that we're to the part where you're combining different coins, it doesn't always come instantaneously to her. If I push her (sometimes to the point of frustration on our parts), I can usually get a sense of whether she really knows it or not. But I don't like making her frustrated over school since I'd like to foster a love a learning.

I'm not sure how to handle this. In the instance of the money stuff, this is something she specifically requested we do. If I tell her that I'm thinking about putting it away for awhile because it's frustrating both of us, she becomes adament about doing it (and then starts goofing off within seconds of starting again). I'm in no hurry -- she's already well beyond were she "should be" at this age, so if she doesn't count her quarters and dimes correctly, so what? It'll come. But her insistence makes me come back to the lessons. My fear is that if I let it slide because she's goofing off so she probably has the idea, that she'll run into problems down the road because she really didn't have the concept afterall.

ETA: DD has an incredible attention span for this age. Generally speaking, she'd be happy to sit and "do school" for hours on end. Seriously. I've had to shoo her away from our school area to go play and run around for a little bit (and so I can get a break!) :) She only gets as I describe over certain things and I agree that a different approach when we do hit this brick wall. I generally try to do as much hands on as I can with her, btw. Play and exploration is what it's all about!

Insights or thoughts are much appreciated!
Christina.

[TracyP]

:bigear:

I have a friend w/ an almost identical problem. Her 4 yo asks for "school" every day but then gets frustrated, bored, restless, etc. a few minutes into it. My thought has been that while her dd has the intelligence to learn these things, she does not have the maturity. I don't know what the best way to handle this is so I will be listening (er, reading) with interest.

[kck]

I would start very small. With maybe 5-10 minutes a day and don't go beyond that under any circumstances. After having success with a short length of time for a week or so, you can start to go up in tiny increments from there. My 5 year old kindergartner really rarely does sit down work for more than 30-45 minutes a day. And often it is less! She's sometimes doing somersaults while I'm reading. :001_smile:

Both my GT kids did well with starting Suzuki music lessons as preschoolers (one in piano, one in violin). It gave them something challenging to work on that was within their grasp. I think that experience really carried over to their school work and their ability to focus on challenging things that seem hard. It also helped build up those small motor skills before we really started writing.

My daughter's violin teacher commented today on my 5 year olds ability to continue to work at something that seemed difficult without getting frustrated. That's been a huge gift!

[JennW in SoCal]

Perhaps the idea of school is more fun than the lessons themselves. It doesn't mean you stop introducing concepts, just back pedal on your expectations on what formal lessons should accomplish.

4 is a great age -- they are little sponges. It sounds like your dd is engaged and enjoys learning. Do something to fill that itch for doing school, but use games and play for learning concepts. And remember that she is probably learning more through play than through any formal lessons at this stage. Play money is great fun -- you can play restaurant or grocery store. You can sort your loose change and count pennies by twos and threes. I'll be there are fun picture books at your library that cover any concept you can think of.

Sometimes kids hit a wall because they aren't ready for a concept. Backing off doesn't teach them they can "slide", it just shows that you are sensitive to their needs. And she's only 4. You have YEARS of worrying about gaps still ahead of you. Trust in your dd's natural ability to learn what she needs to learn at this age, trust that she can pick up bits and pieces as she grows and matures. Relax. Have fun and enjoy this precious time.

[mrsjamiesouth]

What if you played Store with the money? Also, get some story books with money to read.

[cjbeach]

My guy goes through phases. One really popular phase was "couch school." Renaming our schooltime to "couch school" and putting a basket near the couch with "his" stuff in it that *HE* chose what to work on first worked for a bit.
Now we're in the "as long as I can sit on Mom's lap and write a lot" phase.
I can't remember any of my 4yo's sitting for long. It was all hit and run teaching, but it worked.

[KatatonicState]

I would start very small. With maybe 5-10 minutes a day and don't go beyond that under any circumstances. After having success with a short length of time for a week or so, you can start to go up in tiny increments from there.

Generally, the overall length of time isn't the problem. There are many days that she's happy as a clam sitting and doing school for a couple hours at least. (Some days, she'd go all day if I let her!) I don't like to do more than 1 - 2 hours total which still sounds like a lot, but she's got one heck of an attention span for her age and asks for more if I "skimp". It seems to be specific things where she gets antsy -- typically more challenging concepts or sometimes I think she needs a little more practice when she really has the concept nailed and has gotten bored. For now, it's money. :)

And I'm a voice teacher and professional soprano. I agree that music at a young age is a fantastic idea for the preschool set. While it's not something I necessarily plan for, we do something musical daily. She's recently started asking for piano lessons (probably because she sees me playing quite a lot) so I told her we'd start them in the Fall since the Crazy Summer is just around the corner.

[KatatonicState]

Playing store is definitely on my list. In a rare moment when DD and I could actually talk about what's really bugging her this evening -- being 4 and all, this is kind of rare -- she told me that she wanted to count real coins and not just the pictures in the book. BUT she still wants to write the numbrs in the book. Easy peasy. (Too bad she just didn't ask for that in the first place!!) :) Anyways, we'll give her request a whirl for the next few days and if that doesn't work, we'll set up shop.

I also think a trip to the Penny Candy store is in order in the near future... ;)

[hsmom23]

As my friend TracyP said, I have this problem with my DD4.5 also and almost posted a Q about it awhile back. What you said about her wanting to count real money and still write the answer in the book sounds about right to me. Usually if I have the patience:tongue_smilie: and the foresight to see this, I can avoid the fidgetiness by adding in a manipulative or flashcards or her favorite, the white board. She just isnt into the math workbook, or the 100 EZ lessons that day, so I need to remember to try to improvise.
I also appreciate the ideas for adding in a little more time every day. A lot of times I just wing it and dont realize how long we have been just sitting in our seats doing workbook pages so she gets irritable for that reason too. I need a kitchen timer!
Thanks for the tip!