This is going to be long...

[dsmith]

Bear with me here, I don't really know what I'm trying to say here, I guess I'm thinking out loud, getting stuff out of my system and looking for feedback...:001_smile: Ds has expressed an interest in going to school, but he is NOT interested in PS, he would like to try a school where he can be with other aspies like him. This is the first time he has mentioned going to school in the time since we have pulled him out of private school. He has never been to public school because we knew he would never be able to make it there, but he did very well in 2 years of Montessori, not so good in 1 1/2 years of Catholic school, although they tried so hard and the kids tried so hard and were wonderful with him. We didn't get a dx for him until 2nd grade, but we always knew there was something going on with him. For whatever reason it just hit him like a ton of bricks in 2nd grade, and he basically had a nervous breakdown and was in SPD overdrive. So, fast forward 3 1/2 years, and he has gained some dx's, like tic disorder, anxiety disorder, possible selective mutism on top of the Aspergers, but he is doing very well, especially the last six months. We took him to his neuro last year, and he could not say even one word to him. We go next week, and I know he will speak to him. It may take a few minutes, but he will do it. He ordered his own food in a restaurant the other day for the first time, and he spoke very clearly. As a kind of test for him (without him knowing it of course!) I enrolled him in a program our town recreation department has for special needs kids that lasts for about 5 weeks. Today was the first day, and it went great! He didn't actually talk to any of the other kids, but he spoke to the counselors, high fived the other kids, and had a great time. This was very structured, with 1 counselor for every 2 kids, and only 10 kids in the entire group. They did bean bag tosses, parachute games, ,obstacle courses, shooting hoops, etc, for an hour. While he did enjoy himself a great deal, I could see it was taking a toll on him. When he is over excited and anxious, he starts acting very goofy, and he was throwing himself into the wall, falling down dramatically over and over after his turn, hitting his head with the ball, etc., but staying in a happy mood. Just overstimulated. If this went on for over an hour, I could tell he would eventually meltdown. Next week they are doing cooking with a chef, so I think it will be mellower for him. IF this goes well, I would consider a part time placement in a special school, but there is no way I could do this out of my pocket - it would have to be through the district. I was talking to one of the parents this morning, and her ds is in 2nd grade in the district, mainstreamed with an aide. He gets nothing but the aide and speech - no sensory integration therapy, no social skills classes, etc. He seems to be doing well, but I know that kind of placement would not work for ds. Our district has always specialized in hearing impaired, and they generally sent ASD's to other districts that had programs in place, or to one of the specialized schools in the area. From what this parent said, and others there, they haven't been sending out of district much anymore, and that we would have a hard time getting what we wanted. Apparently the new head of Special Services is not very cooperative, which is a shame. I spoke to the previous head before we moved back here, and he was wonderful. I guess I'm just afraid of what we might get involved in if we decide to move forward. I guess we can just walk away if we get started with the process and it proves to be going nowhere... Thanks for listening to my ramblings.:001_smile:

[RamonaQ]

So I am guessing you are wanting some feedback around looking at schools?

I am hearing that you question if you ds could handle school. You are considering part-time options. But possibly you are wondering if your ds could handle that since you observed that at a once-a-week program-- although he handled it really quite well--he was reaching his "point". You possibly wonder if there was a school with "more" (more than once a week but less than full-time) would be like for him.

I think looking at schools is always a good thing. I find that it can help put a new perspective. Ultimately, for me (and I don't have an aspie--my son is dyslexic-- but he is 11 yo and really interested in school) it always comes down to if I think my son is truly ready for that new learning situation.

So again, not having an aspie, but trying to help distill thinking about where you are at.

[KarenAnne]

In California at least, schools are so strapped financially that kids on the spectrum are qualifying for less and less help, much less out-of-district or private placement at the school's expense. It does happen, but it takes a really really determined parent with a LOT of time and energy to pursue things and fight for that placement.

Again, in our state, you would have to go through the public school's evaluation process, get an IEP in place, and either homeschool through the public school's supervision or put him in school and let him flounder there -- unfortunately, this is what parents and kids have to go through here, to prove that their child needs something public school cannot provide. You'd have to find someone with experience in the exact legalities and procedures in your state to know whether you'd have to go this route.

I am wondering whether the new diagnostic manual, which will put Asperger's and PDD-NOS under the autism label, will benefit kids like your son when it goes into effect -- not sure when this happens; I'd have to look it up. But it SHOULD mean that an Asperger's kid will qualify for the kinds of services that only classically, severely autistic ones got in the past, including placement in special schools if they simply cannot function in a public school setting. If an Asperger's label turns into a label of autism, this may work for your son and allow him access to what he needs. But again, I'm not sure whether you'd need to jump through all the hoops of public school evaluation etc. first.

If you can afford it, an hour or two spent with a (private, not public) special ed advocate might be worth the expense. He or she will be able to tell you about your state's laws, and about what the school district typically does or does not do for children with Asperger's.

Hope this helps. It is an uphill fight and I wish you all the best.

[dsmith]

Distilling is a good way to think of it! I think it comes down to what he can realistically handle, which is hard for me to think about in an objective way. I have so much of my own anxiety related to him and school because of what we all went through in the past. I fear that I'm overly cautious at times, but at the same time I think I know his limits better than anyone else, including him, most of the time. Thanks for the feedback.




So again, not having an aspie, but trying to help distill thinking about where you are at.

[dsmith]

When we pulled him from private school we had just started dealing with the county child study team, and we did have him classified. They felt that he would do better with the full autism classification, and it is still valid for another year I believe, so at least we have that. I just need the paperwork sent to our current district. They actually didn't do any testing themselves, they took what we had from his neuro evaluation and a speech pathologist, and classified off of that. They felt he was too emotionally fragile to go through rigorous testing, and we definitely agreed. I'm hoping a call to the head of Special Services may give me a feel for what we may expect. I just need to work on my own anxiety about the whole situation so I can be objective... Thanks for the advice - my bil may know an advocate.




I am wondering whether the new diagnostic manual, which will put Asperger's and PDD-NOS under the autism label, will benefit kids like your son when it goes into effect -- not sure when this happens; I'd have to look it up. But it SHOULD mean that an Asperger's kid will qualify for the kinds of services that only classically, severely autistic ones got in the past, including placement in special schools if they simply cannot function in a public school setting. If an Asperger's label turns into a label of autism, this may work for your son and allow him access to what he needs. But again, I'm not sure whether you'd need to jump through all the hoops of public school evaluation etc. first.

If you can afford it, an hour or two spent with a (private, not public) special ed advocate might be worth the expense. He or she will be able to tell you about your state's laws, and about what the school district typically does or does not do for children with Asperger's.

Hope this helps. It is an uphill fight and I wish you all the best.

[RamonaQ]

. I fear that I'm overly cautious at times, but at the same time I think I know his limits better than anyone else, including him, most of the time. Thanks for the feedback.

I agree 1000% that you know what his limits are the best.

You know, what we are doing with our ds, who wants to go to a traditional public school to be with his friends, is that we have set a number of goals for him to reach. These will ensure that he will have all the necessary skills in place to have a more likely successful school experience. In our case, ds understands, and importantly agrees with, why we continue homeschooling and he is quite motivated to accomplish the goals.

I don't know if a similar strategy would help you. It sounds to me that you still have some areas of concern about your ds ability to manage outside education. Perhaps, after you visit a school, you will be able to come up with some measurable goals for your ds to meet. It sounds like the once-a-week class would be a great place for your ds to show progress in achieving the goals.

Best of luck, I really do "get" how hard it is to be objective when our kids are involved-- and how hard it is to respect the child's desires for growth, in the midst of our own anxieties.

[KarenAnne]

What you said about your contact so far with the school district sounds amazingly flexible and positive compared to what I've heard and experienced myself out here. I'd go ahead and research a few private schools in your area that work with kids on the spectrum and see what they're like, whether they are open to working with your child slowly -- letting him begin part-time, a few hours a day, a few days a week -- and whether the environment seems to suit him. I've visited several schools now and they vary hugely in the group of kids they happen to have at the moment, which can skew the school toward rough and troubled or more relaxed and calm.

Don't beat yourself up about your own anxiety. This is a HUGE step to take and it's completely scary to give up a vulnerable child to the wider world, even if that wider world is a protected special needs school.