I'm tired of picky eaters! (and they're mine!)

[CleoQc]

I sick and tired of being a short order cook. I can't stand it anymore.

My son - 10yo - has certain food allergies, although he's outgrowing some of them. He's outgrown eggs and soy. He's still officially allergic to peanuts and nuts although we haven't had any testing in over a year. I also know that I haven't seen a single hive on him in the last year.

My daughter - 7yo - is allergic to peanuts, nuts, mustard, and eggs and seems to have oral allergy syndrome to all fruits. Yes, all fruits.

So I do have to cater to those needs. But with those allergies, my kids have also develop a fear of food. And I think, thrown in with everything else, some sensory issues.

Now, my son will not eat ham. There's nothing he's allergic to, but he will not eat it. He used to throw up, but now will "only" get dry heaves. What fun at the table. I've tried various kinds of ham, and ham cuts, sliced ham, shredded ham, smoked ham, doesn't matter. He will not eat it.

Anyway, I'm not really expecting anyone here to have a magic cure, although I'd be delighted. I mainly need to vent... ARRRGGHHHH

[Colleen]

I know you primarily wanted to vent, but I'm genuinely wondering why, if you're sick of being a short order cook, you'd play the role. It's one thing to be aware of others' dietary needs, or to be considerate of their preferences (e.g. if your son doesn't want to eat ham...who cares?). It's quite another to cater to people such that they take special treatment for granted.:)

[LG Gone Wild]

I'm serious. Do that for a week, every meal except your own. They'll start drooling over the lucious baked ham and vegetables you've made for yourself.

I have a dd who is so d@#$n fussy. She would live off of Kraft macaroni and cheese if I allowed it. Luckily my other two are not. I am sort of on the same page with Colleen.

Eat this or starve. Usually works. :tongue_smilie:

[Kate in Arabia]

Well, I'm with your son on the ham. :lol:

But for my kids (10, 6, 3) I have one go-to food that is their one and only alternative if they don't like what we're having -- Cheerios. They can get it themselves, put it away themselves when they're done. I don't do any extra work or special foods for individuals (except myself, of course, lol). If they don't like what we're having, they are welcome to get themselves some cereal. Sometimes they give in and eat what we're having, sometimes they have the cereal.

[JFS in IL]

"this is not a restaurant". As long as you are offering food the allergic kids can eat, they have to eat it or go hungry.

My M-i-l dealt with a picky eater (my hubby!) by insisting he get his own sandwich and a carrot if he did not like what she had for dinner.

I take a middle ground - I cook for hubby and self....and the kids are perfectly capable of eating the same thing as we are. If they do not like it- they have to make their own dinner. Now...if only I could get hubby to stop being a picky eater!!!!!:glare:

[abbeyej]

It's a tough one...

My allergic child responded the opposite of yours -- he's so *grateful* for the foods he *can* have, for anything *new*, the child really will eat anything (that's safe for him). A strong negative reaction from him would be, "This really wasn't my favorite", lol... I can't think of a non-allergic food that he simply won't eat (though there are certainly some he'd be much less enthusiastic about than others).

It was my "normal" child who went through a period of pickiness, and it made me crazy. And yes, I *did* tend to follow something more along the lines of "eat or starve" (for heaven's sake, I spend enough time dealing with true physical allergies -- I did not have patience to deal with mere excessive food preference), and it didn't really work. There was a period of several months there were she really would choose not to eat (and I wondered if I were doing the right thing).

She has eventually come around. Not to where her brother is, but she will try plenty of new things, and while she's not a big eater, I'm content that she is eating enough to sustain her and she is not rude at the table.

I do think, if I were in your situation, I'd simply not worry about ham. It's not a common food in our home anyway though, so perhaps that's a cultural difference that would make that one harder. Ham would be something we have once or twice a year, and any time that I could buy sliced ham for sandwiches, I could as easily buy turkey. ... And I wouldn't mix fruit in with other things or worry too much about dd eating it, if it's making her mouth itchy and otherwise making her uncomfortable. There can always be fruit on the table for other family members and if her diet is balanced otherwise, I'd just wait and hope she outgrows the oral allergy syndrome.

I guess I'm okay with working around allergies... Or maybe one or two foods that someone truly loathes. (I, for instance, can't stand bananas, and my husband thinks capers are a punishment, lol.) And I'm willing to make foods simply so that some decisions can be made at the table. (For instance, "Do you want your lentils on your rice or next to?" "Would you like cheese on your chili, or no?" etc) But I'm not willing to make multiple meals based on caprice. And I'm not willing to allow a child to hold me hostage as the cook or treat me or others at the table with rudeness. (And I consider it a rudeness to say, "I'm not eating that -- I'm going to make a sunflower butter sandwich".)

[CleoQc]

Well, I'm with your son on the ham. :lol:

That was actually funny, Kate. Although, obviously, my son is not 'protected' by religious needs and does have to eat ham once in a while. It's a staple of our diet.

It's one thing to be aware of others' dietary needs, or to be considerate of their preferences (e.g. if your son doesn't want to eat ham...who cares?). It's quite another to cater to people such that they take special treatment for granted.
The ham was what we had for lunch, hence it was high on my list. But the list goes on and on and on.. He would eat beef tortillas and fresh fish if he had his own way. And oatmeal. He could do a whole week on oatmeal! We have ham often, because both DH and I enjoy it. It makes DS gag. It used to make him throw up at the table.


Eat this or starve
Well, he's starving right now. And had no chocolate raspberry cheesecake. And shall have none. DD didn't get any either because of the eggs in the recipe and the raspberries on top. So I ended up baking it all for DH and I. DD had to have another dessert. Anyone want a piece of the cheesecake? :)