Today is my sister's birthday and I'm terrified about calling her.

[Rhonda in TX]

She is turning 50. Her best friend and I are planning a huge surprise party for her tomorrow night. I am so worried I am going to slip up and give it away. Things I cannot mention...

I have talked to her DH numerous times over the past couple of weeks.
Same with best friend.
I had lunch with her best friend yesterday.
I know she is having lunch with BF today.
I know her DD is coming home from college for the weekend.
I have talked to same DD this week.
Silly things like, "see you tomorrow night!"

How short can I keep this conversation? Can I get away with just leaving a message on her answering machine? :tongue_smilie:

Should I try to make excuses for why I can't see her this weekend, hoping to throw her off? I do have some good ones. DH has a rehearsal and two concerts this weekend. DS has cub scout crossover the same night as the party (which we would have missed anyway).

Argh!

[readwithem]

Maybe call during lunch when you know she'll be out? Hope the party goes well :)

[gandpsmommy]

Oh, I can feel your nervousness. But you can really do this. What do you usually do for her birthday? If you normally make plans ahead of time and do something with her, then I think explaining why you can't do something this weekend and maybe even asking about visiting next weekend would seem fine and natural. The biggest factor, in my opinion, is making your voice sound natural, no matter what you say. And maybe call at a time when one of the kids could suddenly really "need" you if you feel the conversation is going in the wrong direction? I'm not sure this was any help, but I wish you the best of luck! What a sweet sister you are to plan a big surprise!

[lynn]

Keep it simple. "I am going to have a busy day but I want to call and wish you a very Happy Birthday today. I'll call you back when I have more time." and good luck.

[Valerie(TX)]

Can you call her just as she's supposed to be heading out the door? So she's stressed, in a hurry, and won't notice what you are saying/not saying?

Do you usually plan something with her? Can you refer to that, and ask her if you can set something up for next weekend? I'd be suspicious if we usually did x, and no one had even mentioned doing it this year. :glare: Hmm! Particularly since I would be acutely aware that this was a *big one*! I would understand if my sibling called and made other plans with me for later.

hth

[Jackie in AR]

Hope you're able to keep the surprise!

My BIL turns 50 next month and we've got to cook up something for him.

[Rhonda in TX]

You make a good point. We don't usually do much for each other's birthdays. We used to have family parties every couple of months (combining people), but we haven't done that since our mom passed away. Sometimes we even forget to call each other on the day!

I think I'll keep it simple. Call her, wish her a happy birthday, and get off the phone as quickly as possible! :)

[Rhonda in TX]

However, I've already missed the time when she left. I overslept after being up in the middle of the night. I could call her at work, but she's a teacher, so that's difficult.

We don't always do things for each other's birthday, so there's nothing she'll miss. I'm just very aware that this is a big one, and she wants to make a very big deal about it. She's actually quite mad at her DH because he's not making it special. :D