My heart hurts...

[Whisperlily]

One of my DH's soldiers had a seizure while driving home from PT this morning and was killed in an accident. My DH is taking it VERY hard, as it was one of his closest friends here.

He was only 22, and leaves behind a wife, but no children (they were trying to start a family.) They've only lived here a few weeks longer than we have, and I don't know her personally. I don't know if she's alone right now, or needs help... I know she is involved with her church, but I don't know if anyone has thought to call them to let them know she needs support right now, and I don't know which one they have been attending. I called the FRG (which I don't know anything about except I found a phone #) The gal I talked with said she doesn't know if anyone is doing anything at this time, but took my name, number, and offer of help.

It looks like my DH will be on funeral detail and headed to GA for the funeral.

My heart aches, and I don't know *if* or *how* I can help.

[Adrianne]

Hugs to you. I am praying for the family. May be you could call the wife and offer her some support?

[Mrs Mungo]

One of my DH's soldiers had a seizure while driving home from PT this morning and was killed in an accident. My DH is taking it VERY hard, as it was one of his closest friends here.

He was only 22, and leaves behind a wife, but no children (they were trying to start a family.) They've only lived here a few weeks longer than we have, and I don't know her personally. I don't know if she's alone right now, or needs help... I know she is involved with her church, but I don't know if anyone has thought to call them to let them know she needs support right now, and I don't know which one they have been attending. I called the FRG (which I don't know anything about except I found a phone #) The gal I talked with said she doesn't know if anyone is doing anything at this time, but took my name, number, and offer of help.

It looks like my DH will be on funeral detail and headed to GA for the funeral.

My heart aches, and I don't know *if* or *how* I can help.

The FRG Leader doesn't know if anyone *in general* will be doing anything or doesn't know if the church is aware? Have you tried calling the chaplain and asking if meals are being arranged or that sort of thing? The chaplain (hopefully, if he's worth his salt at ALL) found out what church they've been attending and made arrangements with them. Do you know if you have a brigade-level paid, civilian FRG person? If you do, she may be helping with meals and such, you might try calling her.

And of course, much love and prayers for you and for this soldier's family. It's so sad when a young person's life is cut short.

[Whisperlily]

The FRG Leader doesn't know if anyone *in general* will be doing anything or doesn't know if the church is aware? Have you tried calling the chaplain and asking if meals are being arranged or that sort of thing? The chaplain (hopefully, if he's worth his salt at ALL) found out what church they've been attending and made arrangements with them. Do you know if you have a brigade-level paid, civilian FRG person? If you do, she may be helping with meals and such, you might try calling her.

And of course, much love and prayers for you and for this soldier's family. It's so sad when a young person's life is cut short.

I'm so out of the loop, I don't even know this information. My DH is terrible about passing pertinent details along, and since we just switched from Reserves to Active Duty, I haven't been around the block yet.

I don't know how to contact the chaplain? I also don't know much about FRG's. The lady I called had sent an e-mail out with her contact info. when we first got here. This was before DH was moved to a different area. She didn't know if anyone was doing anything at all yet. *Because* I don't know who to call or how things work, just yet, it's making it harder to find out if she has any support, or needs anything.

I don't have her contact info... the only number we have is her DH's cell phone... I'm not sure she'd be answering, or wanting to answer that at this point. Not to mention, whether it's even operable due to the accident.

[Laurel T.]

I am so sorry. How aweful. It seems like you and your family have been through so much lately. I hope that the soldier's family finds support and comfort during this time.

[gandpsmommy]

I'm so sorry. That is such a tragic situation. I'll be praying for all of you.

[kdeno]

(WisperLily)

[Mrs Mungo]

I'm so out of the loop, I don't even know this information. My DH is terrible about passing pertinent details along, and since we just switched from Reserves to Active Duty, I haven't been around the block yet.

I don't know how to contact the chaplain? I also don't know much about FRG's. The lady I called had sent an e-mail out with her contact info. when we first got here. This was before DH was moved to a different area. She didn't know if anyone was doing anything at all yet. *Because* I don't know who to call or how things work, just yet, it's making it harder to find out if she has any support, or needs anything.

I know what you mean. You *may* be able to look up the chaplain's office number in the phone book. Many places with military bases list pertinent numbers under the unit in the blue government pages.

I don't have her contact info... the only number we have is her DH's cell phone... I'm not sure she'd be answering, or wanting to answer that at this point. Not to mention, whether it's even operable due to the accident.

This is hard. If you can't find out any further information then try calling the First Sergeant. They should know, better than anyone else, what support is being provided and what else needs to be done. Help that is usually desired: helping clean house before relatives come into town, helping pack for a move (not all widows move back home right away but honestly, most do), gift cards for restaurants...it's hard.

[Laura in VA]

Oh, I am so, so sorry. Prayers for all of you.

[elegantlion]

Praying for your family and his at this time.

[Unicorn]

I'm so sorry. That is just so sad. I wish I had an idea of how to help you help her. Maybe one of your dh's other soldiers knows them better, and can help you contact the wife. ((((Whisperlily))))

[Doran]

You are doing something, even if it's just praying for her, and caring how she feels right now. Your concern is supporting her in ways neither of you could understand. But, it's real, and good.

Peace to you, and thoughts to you all ~

Doran

[Jenny in Atl]

:grouphug: Sending good thoughts..

[WTMindy]

I'm so sorry!! I'm saying a prayer for your dh and the young wife.

[Elaine]

(((Whisperlily))) I'm sorry.

[Gailmegan]

Praying for you and your dh and the soldier's family. :grouphug:

[Gretchen in NJ]

I am very sorry to hear of your heart ach. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
:grouphug:Gretchen

[nestof3]

How horrible! I shouldn't read things like that right now. I started crying in the restaurant tonight when my husband and I were talking about Aaron (ds) going into the military. Why do they have to grow up and move on? Sometimes I wish we could keep them safe their entire lives.

[Denise in IN]

Whisperlily, I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for you and your family as well as for the soldier's family. :grouphug:

[camibami]

I'm so sorry.

I'll echo that the 1SG will know what is going on, and how to help. They know everything. ;)

DH is military, and has lost soldiers, and its always hardest when its so (seemingly) random. I guess that is true for everyone, but what I am trying to say (badly) is that I know what you and your DH are going through.

Prayers going up for the widow and his family tonight.

[Whisperlily]

Thank you so much for all the responses.

I finally was able to get in contact with his wife. She is surrounded by church family right now, and is an incredibly gracious woman.

She even *sounded* surrounded by love at this time, and was incredibly at peace for the situation she's facing. I don't know how she feels underneath the surface, but for now I know that she is being taken care of by those who love her and loved her DH.

If you think of her, I know she could use the prayers, especially in the coming days as the shock factor wears off and reality sets in.

My DH is really struggling with this right now. As Cami said, the seemingly at-random nature makes it more difficult. He's lost friends before, but not in an area where he wasn't already half-braced for such an event. I would appreciate prayers for him as well.