As I was revisiting my list of reasons why I homeschool...

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I reposted my 'Why We Homeschool' essay on my blog today and a friend commented that if you asked 3 homeschoolers why they homeschool, you would likely get three different answers.

Do you think the majority of people think 'we' are alike because we homeschool? I happen to know that there is a large variety of personalities, methods, curriculum, and reasons to homeschool (maybe not quite the variety you see in public schools, but still...) but I'm assuming the general population doesn't. Or do you think we are more alike that I am seeing?

What is the #1 myth about homeschooling you wish you could dispell?

[Mrs. H.]

That I don't belong to a certain church (or denomination), and don't use Abeka or Paces.

I guess that's two myths, but in my area, those two things are synonymous.

[Mama Lynx]

Yep. I wish I could dispel the "certain type of Christian" myth. And among homeschoolers, I wish I could dispel the myth that if I'm not Christian, I must therefore be an unschooler and of a certain political persuasion.

[Beth in Central TX]

I would get rid of the myth that my boys will suffer socially because they are homeschooled.

[Ohio12]

I think as more and more people are homeschooling, the reasons are becoming more varied. I have to be careful not to assume certain values or curriculum when I talk to another homeschooling mom! But it is so exciting to see the whole movement growing.

[Ohio12]

I would get rid of the myth that my boys will suffer socially because they are homeschooled.


I agree with this. The most common misconception is that kids need to be socialized at school. It is very hard to eplain this to people though!

[Mom2legomaniacs]

A couple of myths that I think are really annoying are:

1. The whole socialization thing. People just spout it out without really thinking about the real definition of the word or what our life is like.

2. That home schoolers are totally anti-society meaning we all have a strong disdain for schools, government, and the establishment.

[Mekanamom]

What is the #1 myth about homeschooling you wish you could dispell?

I have a couple:

That all homeschoolers who choose the classical method are religious, and/or that all secular homeschoolers must be unschoolers
That homeschoolers who use a public program are not "real homeschoolers"

[Mrs Mungo]

1. That I must be a fundie *or* a hippie.

2. The socialization thing.

3. That the school system should provide my curriculum since I can't possibly know what I'm doing.

[Ellie]

I'm always surprised when Christians wonder why non-Christians would want to homeschool.:confused: And I say this as a Christian homeschooler.

Not sure that's a myth, but thought I'd throw it in there:D

[pixelroper]

as though lumping kids all the same age into one room where a pecking order develops and encouraging herd mentality is the definition of socializing

If it is "their" definition, ulterior motives may be present.

[pixelroper]

a fundie

:001_huh:

[Mrs Mungo]

:001_huh:

Fundamentalist, sorry ;)

[Sunkirst]

A silly general one:
Just the other day I approached a woman shopping during the day with school age children (I was childless), and inquired if she home schooled (I've met good friends like this!). She looked at me like I was rabid, and muttered some comment about "how weird" home schooled kid were. :001_huh: However, most of the folks I encounter are very positive.

One very personal one:
My ds is dyslexic, and anytime he stumbles over reading, I get the evil eye from a certain (PS teaching) relative who thinks his problem is a sign of my inadequacies. (Funny how his mathematical ability never wins me any praise :glare:). For the most part, I'm not bothered by this. I try to believe that it's her ignorance that gives rise to her opinion. But deep inside I'm bothered, as the root of her opinion is that only trained pros should be allowed to educate children.

[Scarlett]

I have a couple:

That all homeschoolers who choose the classical method are religious,

I have seen reference to this myth several times on the boards and it puzzles me. When I first found TWTM, I fell in love with SWB, the book, the method. All of it. And part of what I loved is that her entire method seemed to be academically geared instead of being religious or evolution based. Meaning, she didn't push her own faith nor did she seem to believe in evolution. It felt neutral to me. It felt as if I could use the classical method and teach my son my own faith without conflict.

And most of the religious homeschoolers in my area aren't that classical in their approach.

[Jenny in Atl]

1. That I must be a fundie *or* a hippie.

:iagree:

That I must be socially uptight, politically conservative, an elitist, and who knows what else. People love labels, that way they don't have to take the time to get to know you.

[pixelroper]

Fundamentalist, sorry ;)

no need to apologize, I got stuck on 'fun' didn't add the 'd', racking my brain LOL good grief:D

[Jenstet]

"Do your children have friends??"

Uh, yes.

I find that everyone is concerned until I tell them she takes a public school class for music. Like that will cover the "socialization" issue. Ironically my daughter tells me she hasn't made any new friends in music class because they aren't allowed to talk in class.

The new one we get from concerned friends and family is...

"What are you going to do when homeschooling is illegal?"

Our Myth Busters:

We don't belong to a church

My kids aren't particularly well behaved :001_tt2:

[Mrs Mungo]

My kids aren't particularly well behaved :001_tt2:

Oh! In this same vein, that I must be extremely patient. HA!! :lol:

[A home for their hearts]

That I don't belong to a certain church (or denomination), and don't use Abeka or Paces.

Before I started homeschooling I went into a used bookstore to look for some books on homeschooling, when I asked where the homeschool books were the lady kindly showed me and pulled out a set of Abeka readers. I asked her if these were for homeschooling, I knew nothing about Abeka then, and she said, "Well isn't this what all you homeschoolers use?":glare:

[LG Gone Wild]

[quote=Jenstet;127628
My kids aren't particularly well behaved :001_tt2:[/quote]

I wish they were. They are adorable and lovable and likeable but don't ever take them out shopping.

They are kind of like gremlins only instead of not allowing them to eat after midnight, it is more of not allowing them in any sort of store.

[A home for their hearts]

"Do your children have friends??"

Uh, yes.

I find that everyone is concerned until I tell them she takes a public school class for music. Like that will cover the "socialization" issue. Ironically my daughter tells me she hasn't made any new friends in music class because they aren't allowed to talk in class.

The new one we get from concerned friends and family is...

"What are you going to do when homeschooling is illegal?"

Our Myth Busters:

We don't belong to a church

My kids aren't particularly well behaved :001_tt2:

I do worry about my dd8, she is a social butterfly and really misses her friends from school. I, however, don't know if this would be considered a 'social' problem or not.

My kids aren't always well behaved either. It's seems to me that society holds us homeschoolers at a higher standard then the rest of the world. If our kids aren't well behaved then we must not be doing our jobs and therefore our kids should be in ps!

[nukeswife]

You all have covered my major myths I wish to dispel.

#1: That since I homeschool my kids we must be extremely religious
We are not, we don't belong to a church and most of my kids exposure to religion comes from animated talking vegetables .

#2 that because I'm not homeschooling for religious reasons that I'm a hippie
Sure I bake my own bread, but no we don't grown all our own food, raise cattle and chickens etc. I wouldn't mind the chickens for the eggs and a small garden for some vegetables and I certainly admire those that can live on a farm, but that's not me.

#3 that my kids will be lacking in their ability to socialize with others
This is just a bunch of bunk in my eyes. Honestly how much of the 8 hours that ps kids here are in school do they spend socializing with their peers. I know from when my oldest was in PS for K and 1st grade that most of his time was spent waiting in line, or for others to finish things etc.

#4 That because I'm not a certified teacher I'm deluding myself in thinking that I can educatate my children adequately.
To this all I can say is:confused:

[Kay in Cal]

I hope this is getting less frequent, but I was shopping at a teachers supply store just last week, and was asked for my teacher discount card. I replied that I didn't have one, we homeschool. She started telling me that if I bring in a document from my charter school, that will suffice. I've been through this discussion before there... I just smiled and said we don't use a charter or umbrella school.

Shocked look. "So how are your kids given their yearly standardized tests?"

"They aren't."

"But... how will they ever go to college?"

"By doing fantastically on the SAT."

"Oh... they can take SATs if they aren't in school?"

"Yes. Anyone can take SATs."

"Oh..."

I stopped myself from making the comment that my standards were far higher than those of any public school, and just smiled and went about my day. How will my kids go to college, indeed!:tongue_smilie:

[mcconnellboys]

No, I think around here, at least, most perceive that homeschoolers are extremely religiously conservative, mainly of some Protestant faith, have large families, etc., etc.

Regena

[OnTheBrink]

Isn't it interesting how people are so bothered by the socialization issue. When I was in public school, in KY, TX and CA, the students were constantly being told that we weren't there to socialize, but to LEARN! So, if the purpose of being in public school is to learn, how will they ever learn to socialize? hmmmm?

[Tracey in TX]

1. Not all homeschoolers are "right wing nut jobs" (gotta love my brother :))

2. Being a certified teacher does not make one better prepared. (I speak from experience--I'm certified and feel utterly inadequate.)

3. TV is NOT recess.

4. State standardized testing is NOT required. (Good thing b/c it's a joke)

Honestly, we're so fortunate b/c everyone here knows someone who homeschools for a variety of reasons: sports, religious, familial, and/or academic.

[iquilt]

We just finished a lovely visit with my mil this weekend where she asked me when was my oldest going to be tested by the state, you know, to make sure she was doing OK?? When I told her that the state will not be testing her but that I'll submit our own progress report and/or a standardized test score ( I haven't decided yet) she was shocked! She said "how do THEY know that she's doing OK?" It doesn't seem to matter to her that she can see for herself that she's doing just fine, thank you very much. I was not surprised, she's not exactly the best support we've ever had for any decisions we've made over the years.

Oh, and on the socialization issue; we were just at our regular weekly playdate at the park where we were overrun by the ps kids on spring break this week. They were the ones throwing rocks as a form of tag and swearing in front of my children. Doesn't look like they know how to socialize very well if you ask me. I know that it was one time and not all ps students act like that, etc., but that's what happened to us today.

[Plaid Dad]

That all homeschoolers think like Mike Farris. (There, I said it.)

[stephanie]

I would get rid of the myth that my boys will suffer socially because they are homeschooled.

Amen to this! I get so tired of hearing, "Well, what about socialization?" My kids are social butterflies, and why do we need to hang out with kids who aren't homeschooled to be socialized? I've just never understood that.

[LG Gone Wild]

That all homeschoolers think like Mike Farris. (There, I said it.)

I guess I just disspelled that stereotype since I have no clue about who you are referring to!

[profmom]

#4 That because I'm not a certified teacher I'm deluding myself in thinking that I can educatate my children adequately.
To this all I can say is:confused:

This would probably be mine too. Several of dh's (accounting firm) partners' wives teach public school. They don't ask many questions, but they generally seem to think that I couldn't know what I'm doing.

When we started, my mil used to say very matter-of-factly, "Homeschool doesn't teach reading until 3rd grade." I would try to explain how we are all different. However, we'd see them several months later, and she'd say the exact thing again! (They live in a different state.) Seeing my oldest read well at an early age finally stopped her, but then she assumed I was using Abeka for everything.

I was also once given curriculum advice by my hairdresser -- she wanted to make sure I knew about the workbooks at Sam's.

[Linda]

That something mystical happens when a child turns five, and suddenly all of the teaching, nurturing, disciplining, and loving that I've done up to this point are no longer enough.

Now he needs real education and yes, of course, socialization for at least six hours a day, 180 days a year.

[ThelmaLou]

1. "You must be so patient!"
2. "Well, you're cut out for that because you're certified to teach."

Regarding #1, no I'm not. It's sanctifying and humbling to teach my kids at home. I've learned that I'm not very patient at all.

As for #2, yes I'm certified to teach secondary English. But I know moms without teacher certifications (and without college degrees for that matter) who I consider to be much more naturally suited to homeschooling than I am. I always vigorously defend my non credentialed friends when this comes up. As far as I'm concerned, my university education did not in any way prepare me for what I do at home with my boys. It taught me crowd control, classroom psychology (shudder!) educational bureaucracy, etc. Don't get me wrong. I don't regret having a degree, and I'm glad I have the piece of paper in case I ever need to teach in the classroom. But is it relevant to homeschooling? Not in the least.

[Shannon831]

There are many on here that I relate to, but here's one I haven't seen yet.

That I am homeschooling to fulfill some school teacher fantasy. I think my PS teacher neighbor is thoroughly convinced of this. She actually said to me, "Why don't you just go back to school and get a degree? Then you can make an actual living teaching and your kids won't have to stay home." I, for one, have never wanted to be a teacher. If I go back to school, it'll be to become an RN. It was like she was saying, "Don't make your children suffer, just because you want to be a teacher!"

[chiguirre]

People seem to think hsers are helicopter moms or at least extremely careful about food and media. I'm such a slacker in those areas it's almost embarassing. We eat our fair share of junk food and my kids are well acquainted with the Disney channel line-up. 'Nuf said.

[Tutor]

that we don't like the local government or private schools. That we homeschool because we are against something. My dh and I actually look at formal education differently. We feel that the education of children is the primary responsibility of parents, therefore, homeschooling should be the first option to be considered. If after analyzing your family situation (finances, abilities, desires, talents, resources, etc) you decide that homeschooling is not the best educational option for your family, then you consider private tutoring, private day schools, private boarding schools, and government schools.

Homeschooling is not always a negative political, religious or social statement. Often it is a positive education and family decision.

[Twinmom]

we are homeschooling because we have no other option! That I'm doing it because of one of these reasons: 1. we couldn't get into private school, 2. we can't afford private school or 3. we're weirdo, separatist crazies who won't send our kids to public school because we want to indoctrinate them to be "just like us!" Or, better yet, we homeschool because we are totally into our kids and have no personal life! :confused:

Grr. We came out of a private school (a pretty expensive one at that) when we moved, and rejected the local private school because we thought they'd do better in home school. We've had a kid in public school (26 yr old DSS), we teach our kids our Christian faith but also to think for themselves. We put our kids first but also have happy little lives of our own! It's just that with all the options available, we really believe (and our kids prove!) that they will learn better at home.

Grr. That's all I have to say about it!

[Donna T.]

That all homeschoolers think like Mike Farris. (There, I said it.)


:iagree:

So glad you said that. That's #1 on my list. And, related to that... that all "real, Christian" homeschoolers think like Doug Phillips, Rushdooney, and North... the Dominionists Gang.

#2 - that we live in our "own little world" - I've heard this more than once recently from co-workers.

#3 - that we are anti-public school or otherwise motivated by a reaction against something rather than making a proactive choice to do what is best for our families.

[Mamagistra]

I detest the myth that because one is schooling at home, one is available to babysit. :rolleyes:

[Donna]

but the t hing that makes me the most frustrated is the utter lack of knowledge most people have about homeschooling, especially my relatives who are involved with the school system (my aunt who is a school principal tried to tell me they could force me to have kids tested and to see my curriculum...uh, not in NJ and I quickly printed out the NJEA website page on homeschooling for her to see).

Also, people's need to judge my children because we homeschool. Are they smart enough, social enough, well behaved enough, etc... Like every child who attends school is a certain way and because mine homeschool, they should fit a certain stereotype.

[Wildiris]

Aside from the other misconceptions about home schooling and home school kids already mentioned, I dislike the assumption that some people make about home school kids being geniuses, as though all they do is study for the next spelling or geography bee. I think most home school kids are ordinary kids with extraordinary parents who care deeply about what and how their children learn which makes for some special kids.

As for socialization, I think that home school kids have much better social skills than their public school peers. It is my experience that home school kids can talk well with adults and small children without having an issue about who they're conversing with.

Wildiris

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I've enjoyed reading all the replies. I was laughing about the stereotype that our kids are well-behaved (and reserved, and quiet....) I have three little boys who are not particularly well-behaved, or anything resembling quiet and reserved. :)

I appreciated the statement that many of us are being proactive in the decisions we've made regarding homeschooling rather than reactive.

Lots of great stuff to think about. Thanks for the replies!

[WagsWife]

~We are Fundamental Christian
~We are conservative politically
~Our children are very well behaved (that sounds horrible...but it is true)
~I did start out using Abeka...and still do for some of my younger girls subjects
~We are growing more and more anti-public school

However,
~They are very well socialized...sometimes to the point where we struggle to get school in
~I am *not patient, I cringe when someone who I know is a *whole lot nicer than I am, tells me she would not be cut out for hsing
~And the biggest one for me right now...I did not convince my DH to HS because it gives me an excuse to stay home, be lazy and not get a job :blink: Relatives...got to love them!

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

LOL! You lazy bum. :) What is it that you DO all day, for goodness sake?

An acquaintance of mine was talking with another friend at a work party, and she commented that staying home with her babies was the hardest job she's ever had. She went back to work as soon as possible...

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

What is the #1 myth about homeschooling you wish you could dispell?

That I homeschool because I'm afraid of popular culture. I homeschool because I reject popular culture and want better for my family. Big difference in my eyes.

Plus, I love the flexible lifestyle.

Barb

[JWSJ]

That I don't belong to a certain church (or denomination), and don't use Abeka or Paces.

So funny! We even get this from the other HSers...

I met an unfamiliar fellow HSing parent the other day. The kids and I saw the father teaching his son some math at a bagel shop. I asked if they homeschool. The father said, "Yes, we're lesson so-and-so." I thought it was odd he would name the lesson number. Then he asked what lesson number we were on. Not understanding, I mentioned what particular concepts we were learning that week. He brought over some HUGE Bob Jones manual and pointed at the page they were on. I had never seen any HUGE set-in-stone HSing manual before. Seemed too rigid to me.

Then it dawned on me: He thought all HSers used the Bob Jones manual.

This scared me.

[Rosie_0801]

That my kids are only getting my opinion whereas if they were at school they'd be getting lots of different opinons.

That I'm overprotective and all round dreadful. Somehow my relatives think it's good to be an individual and not mindlessly follow the crowd, but get very upset if I don't do things their way...

That school is the real world!

Well, if it wasn't one thing it would be another. Lets banish all the myths!!
:)
Rosie

[pixelroper]

some of you have already seen this I'm sure. Personally not secular but found this page an amusing summation--

bitter homeschooler list (http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschooler.html)