Errrr....I'm frustrated with dd!

[happymainemom]

Why oh why can't she remember what we've read five minutes after we've read it? She does this with a lot of what we read. I've tried having her color or do something active while I read, read it herself, I read while she follows along, talking about it as we read, listening to the CD read it.....what am I doing wrong??? She'll listen to my question then give an off the wall answer--for example: Me: "What was the tribe in Italy called?" Her (after she rolls around on the floor, scrunches her face, grabs her feet to put them almost behind her head): "Athens?" Me: "Huh?" This has been the case for many months now and I have tried so many different things. We use SOTW and she is 7--very responsible, smart, perfectionist (will erase the 6 if it looks even close to a G). I think SOTW is a great way to do history, provides so many different ways of learning and thinking......I've got to be missing something here. I figure this is more of a frustration and teaching issue than a curriculum issue. *sigh* I'm going to go try and be a better mom now. :chillpill: I need Divine revelation.

Happymainemom

[Cheryl in NM]

[quote=happymainemom;125163]Why oh why can't she remember what we've read five minutes after we've read it? quote]

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. My son was like that for awhile. I don't really know what changed. One thing I did was stop frequently to discuss what we read, sometimes after every sentence. It took forever to get through a chapter of SOTW! I also allowed him to bounce gently on an exercise ball. It seemed to help him focus if he was letting off some steam. He was not allowed to play games with the ball and roll all over. It was strictly, bounce gently and listen to me read. I would also refer back to our reading later in the day or when it was mentioned in the next chapter. "Remember when we read about those Italian tribes? What were they called?" Then I would give hints to try to jog his memory. I hope this helps, but just know that it's probably a phase and remember that you'll cover this history again in 4 years so pick out the most important part of the lesson to focus on. That there were tribes in Italy and who they fought and such. The names aren't as important and what was actually going on, right? I love SOTW, but every word doesn't have to be learned. The system is set up to repeat all this info in greater detail 2 more times before graduation. It's okay if some of it slips through the cracks, really. I had to really learn to let go of some things. HOpe this helps!:001_smile:

[Sophia]

dd (age 9) would also give me some fancy gymnastic moves before giving the inevitable wrong answer.
This was particularly frustrating because her two older siblings are sponges.
Always have been-I could read something and they would narrate it back perfectly.
Not so with my dd.
What I did was increase read alouds with her.
After a couple sentences I would stop and ask her "what did I just say?"
At first, she could not answer because she wasn't listening, but then her competitive side took over and she began paying attention (her older sibs would shout out the answers and she hates when they know more than her.)
I still will not read more than a few paragraphs before stopping to ask if she's still with me, but she has made definite progress.
Come to think of it- I did also carry this over to just about every time I talked to her.
"Ally, go brush your teeth and put on your pajama's"
"Yes, ma'am"
"Ally, what did I just say?"
She would have no clue:glare: so I would have her repeat me frequently throughout the day while she maintained eye contact.
Eye contact was key to get her attention.
Interestingly, she is my strongest math student and has a fit when she gets a math problem wrong.
She will not let me check her math until she has checked and doublechecked her work. I still can't get her 14 y.o. db to do that!

So anyway, I would agree this is not a curriculum issue, but her own sweet personality.
Persistence on your part and maturity on her part will equal progress over time.

[Canada_Mom]

Granted, I am NOT the most experienced one to be answering this, but here goes...

My dd6 does this too! It drives me completely batty! I would get really frustrated with myself for what I was doing wrong. She still does the rolling around, scrunch face thing (I can't seem to put an end to that), but I have noticed that the content of what we are reading has a big influence on how she will answer the questions.

We had similar issues with SOTW and I noticed it mostly when we did the earlier chapters re: China, Africa etc. I would get "I dunno" almost constantly even though we had just finished reading the sentence and reviewing the answer! When we got back to Egypt and other topics that are of great interest to her, she never missed a single question- she could name all the Pharoahs even though the SOTW AG stated that the kids wouldn't remember the name etc. Even her narrations were filled with better detail and she would give them back to me with much enthusiasm.

Perhaps it is the same with your dd.

[Sue G in PA]

We read simple, short lessons for say, History (using MOH...usually a 2 pg. lesson). I ask him leading questions about the lesson for his narration. I get a blank stare or a pouty face. :001_huh: So, I begin a sentence for him, leaving out ONE key word which he has to provide. More pouty face or blank stares. I'm sorry I don't have the magic cure...really I am! I used to think he just wasn't paying attention. He was able to do this last year just fine! So what has changed? I'm thinking attitude. He just doesn't care, really. Not saying that's your dd's problem. Ds also cannot tell me about a book or chapter he's just read. Dh talks to him about it and suddenly he can remember every stinking detal! :001_huh: Perhaps...don't ask questions right after the reading, rather have somebody else ask her (like dh) what she learned in x subject today!

[Claire]

Is it just history? Or is it everything that's read to her? If it's everything, then she might have weak visualization skills. Most of us develop these automatically, but some people benefit from explicit instruction. This website (http://www.mindprime.com/) has a good explanation of the importance of visualization skills for comprehension. (click on "why people have problems with comprehension in the upper lefthand corner)

[nmoira]

Have you tried talking about what is going on in the chapter, rather than asking specific facts? You can always "find" the particulars together as you build up the narration. There could be a number of things going on, but (going only with what you've written of course) I suspect that she may be afraid or self conscious (especially since you said she was a perfectionist) and doesn't want to be wrong. If she doesn't really try, she won't be wrong. If this is the case, this would not something that she's doing to frustrate you, but rather something she's doing to protect herself. Perfectionism can be very tough to deal with; I highly recommend a book called Mindset by Carol Dweck as a first step.

[happymainemom]

Thanks...Yes I have to remember that we are coming back to this. I have one in high school and he deals with so many problems of his own. I have a "get it done now" mentality with him and need to remember to slow down for dd.

[happymainemom]

Perhaps...don't ask questions right after the reading, rather have somebody else ask her (like dh) what she learned in x subject today!

Thanks, Sue. I'll try that. Just more creative ways to give a narration!

[happymainemom]

I suspect that she may be afraid or self conscious (especially since you said she was a perfectionist) and doesn't want to be wrong. If she doesn't really try, she won't be wrong. If this is the case, this would not something that she's doing to frustrate you, but rather something she's doing to protect herself.

Ohh....that's good stuff. I'm not so patient a person and I really need to learn to see past the face. I'm really going to think on this, thank you.

[happymainemom]

Thanks, Claire. I'll check it out. :-)

[amyable]

FWIW, I've always been this way - *especially* for names of things. Yet I'm bright (and modest, LOL), graduated with honors from HS, got my masters, etc. I think I'm just a more global thinker, I skim over details. If I know what I'm looking for first , or if I read something a few times knowing I have to memorize it, I do better. Oh, and taking notes while the person is talking, but she's young for that. Just throwing out there that there's nothing necessarily *wrong* with what your dd is doing, it's probably just *different*, and as she ages she can develop coping skills if the listening/remembering skills don't improve. :)

[Janet in WA]

You're talking about read-alouds? There could be many reasons for her inability to answer your questions about what she's read. But one possibility is that she is not an auditory learner. Is her recall better with material she's read herself? If so, she's may be a much stronger visual learner.

My youngest son is weak at processing and remembering material he's read silently. He undestands and retains much better if he either hears the material read to him or reads it aloud himself. He's a very strong auditory learner.

[Mrs Mungo]

You're talking about read-alouds? There could be many reasons for her inability to answer your questions about what she's read. But one possibility is that she is not an auditory learner. Is her recall better with material she's read herself? If so, she's may be a much stronger visual learner.

My youngest son is weak at processing and remembering material he's read silently. He undestands and retains much better if he either hears the material read to him or reads it aloud himself. He's a very strong auditory learner.

I agree with this. I'm a very poor auditory learner. In college I wrote down nearly *everything* the professor said and read it later. I'd consider having her read it to herself or have her read it aloud *and* explain it to you as she goes.

[Citrusheights5]

My DS was an all inclusive learner. Auditory- Visual- kinesthetic. You name it. But he has to do all 3 before he would remember ANYTHING. It was so frustrating. There was a certain way we had to do things for him to remember. For SOTW.. he would read the section by himself (he was in second grade, 7 yo). Then we would do a project. Then I would read it out loud to him. It took 3 times for anything to sink it. The day would go by like this
30 minutes of him reading. about upper and lower Egypt
Project of us making crown, all the while talking about what they were and why we were joining them. ("So.. we are learning about Egypt" " Wow Egypt were separated" " Why is the US separate. oh. um that other place.. you know the one we were talking about. yeah Egypt" Then I would read it out loud. and he would remember it!!!!! He could still tell you today (2 years later). I am not sure if this will help you or not.. but your DC has a certain way to learn.. and once you figure it out.. it will be such a relife. Good luck.

Lee

[LG Gone Wild]

dd (age 9) would also give me some fancy gymnastic moves before giving the inevitable wrong answer.
This was particularly frustrating because her two older siblings are sponges.
Always have been-I could read something and they would narrate it back perfectly.
Not so with my dd.
What I did was increase read alouds with her.
After a couple sentences I would stop and ask her "what did I just say?"
At first, she could not answer because she wasn't listening, but then her competitive side took over and she began paying attention (her older sibs would shout out the answers and she hates when they know more than her.)
I still will not read more than a few paragraphs before stopping to ask if she's still with me, but she has made definite progress.
Come to think of it- I did also carry this over to just about every time I talked to her.
"Ally, go brush your teeth and put on your pajama's"
"Yes, ma'am"
"Ally, what did I just say?"
She would have no clue:glare: so I would have her repeat me frequently throughout the day while she maintained eye contact.
Eye contact was key to get her attention.
So anyway, I would agree this is not a curriculum issue, but her own sweet personality.
Persistence on your part and maturity on her part will equal progress over time.


Sometimes he is really on it. Mostly, no. In addition to what Sophia posted I also have ds read the text to me when I get those maddening responses. I really did quite despair over ds. It is strictly a listening problem.