What I need is for someone to come slap me upside the head....

[Kelli in TN]

I am beyond burned out. I simply cannot describe the level of burned out that I am.

I have put in notice to our children's pastor that after VBS I will be stepping down from children's ministry.

I have made it known that this is my last year as 4H leader.

So, tell me please, why did I sit in 4H this afternoon and consider that perhaps I should lead the cooking group next year? What is wrong with me?

Can someone diagnose me?

[j.griff]

SLAP!

[abbeyej]

Roflol. I'm good for the smack upside the head -- WHACK! -- but I'm afraid I can't explain *why* we do that. Sigh. My mother does it. I do it. We *know* for the sake of our sanity and our families that we *have* to step back, do less outside the home... and yet the instant we see a need or someone says, "but we really neeeeed you to do this -- you do such a great job!", there we are volunteering like mad.

Help!

...

PS- No, DON'T DO IT. Someone else can teach cooking. or NOT. the world won't end. really. hard to believe, i know... ;)

[True Blue]

Slap me back, okay? I'm a leader in a few different groups and I'm dropping them all this May. Yippee!

[Karenciavo]

http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/fighting/fighting0049.gif (http://www.googleinternetmarketingconsultant.com)

[Jenny in Atl]

I think many of us need a good roll of duct tape before leaving the house to attend group events. Duct tape saves lives!:blink:

[True Blue]

Very cute.

[WTMindy]

http://www.33smiley.com/smiley5/baddies/11.gif

[Peek a Boo]

~SMACK~

whew! I certainly feel better ;)

something more inspirational to follow after i get back from church :D

[JennifersLost]

LOL!

I signed up for everything this fall and I've bowed out gracefully from just about everything already.

JUST SAY NO!

[elegantlion]

"just Say No!"

[Soph the vet]

I took a year off at one point, my dh and I both were overcommitted to various ministries. It was good and it allowed time to pray, reprioritize, just enjoy our family instead of life speeding by. It also allows for more real conversations about the Lord with real people who really need Him. God has been faithful to show us which new things to get involved with as time passed. Those people who are always involved, and you know who you are, should take breaks now and then as it forces others to step up and be stretched in some great ways.

If that doesn't do it for then...:boxing_smiley: consider yourself smacked!

[Elaine]

I am really too tired for the slapping tonight, Kelli. :D

Someone once said to me that the need does not justify the call. Just because there is a need, does not mean that you have to fill it. And, maybe someone else can be raised up now that you have stepped down.

Maybe God is done using you in the children's ministry capacity and has something greater.:001_smile:


P.S. Can you remind me of this when the sign-ups for VBS volunteers begins?:lol:

[gardenschooler]

I know you've seen it before, but obviously you've forgotten.


STOP IT!!! Just.......STOP IT!






(I've found it also helps not to go to meetings of any kind!)

[Peek a Boo]

ok, i think Soph and Elaine hit on key issues for me:

1. backing off from involvement does not need to be permanent.

2. need does not equal call.

This past Christmas was the first time I didn't lift One. Finger. to decorate AT ALL. i didn't do the long involved Advent study that we usually do. i didn't read every night. i didn't even light the darn candles. I didn't put up the tree --dh and the kids broke down and put it up and decorated when it sank in that i was REALLY not gonna do it. And you can sure as heck bet that I didn't take it down either!!

Same thing w/ Lent. We usually do a daily Lenten study/activities. Not this year.

I *will* be doing VBS, cuz I'm a VBS freak, lol. But I will probably even drop that next year.

DO take a break. It was Rilly. Hard. for me to NOT do something, until i realized that it didn't have to be a permanent thing --just a yearlong break. Maybe two ;)

And for everything that you DON't do, you are giving someone else the opportunity to be a blessing and fill your shoes. Or you deny someone else the opportunity to be an influence in your dc's life in some other unforseen capacity if you insist on doing activity X [which prevents unforseen activity Y from taking its place]. You don't wanna deny someone else the opportunity to be a blessing, do you? ;)

whatever it takes to spin it so that YOU feel better about backing off, EMBRACE it :D

and I missed that you were considering a cooking class! that warrants a SMACK w/ this big ol' 16" cast iron pan.
but wait, it's kinda h-e-a-v-y.....

~BO-O-O-ONG-NG-NG....!~

oh wow!
I can even see the "Cabela's" imprint on your forehead!
that's kinda cool.....

[Amy loves Bud]

Oh, I almost fell for it today. I've been nominated to an officer position in our homeschool group, and I absolutely can't take it on. But the pickings for officer are looking rather slim. I faltered momentarily, but then I got myself together and said, "NO!" (Bud helped.)

So we can slap eachother if need be. SLAP!

[Laurel T.]

Dh and I just decided that we are going to say no to any weekend commitment for 6 months. Things that we were excited about when we agreed to them have become things that we dread because we are tired. Thats not good for anybody. After our little rest period we will only take on something after consulting each other and determining whether the activity fits into our goals. I think we will be saying "no" alot and I am looking forward to it.

Laurel T.

[*anj*]

http://209.85.48.9/10222/92/emo/girlfight3ol.gif
Stop it! Stop it right now!!!!

[Natalieclare]

Dearest of Kellis,
I would just like to offer you a little glimpse of what it feels like on the other side of too many committments...

Aaaaaaaah.

Will you really regret saying, "NO!" or will you regret saying, "Yes"? A season of peace is unbeatable, in my experience. Give it a try!!!!

[Rosie_0801]

I diagnose you as suffering from guilt. It's a typical thing, stay at home mums have to work way harder than everyone else so they don't have to feel guilty for not working. I was brought up that whatever you are doing is not worthwhile unless it's bringing in a wage, so I suffer from frequent bouts of guilt. I just try not to let them change what I'm doing, because I know what I'm doing is right, and why it's right. Besides, as long as I'm happy and my hubby the wage earner is happy, who else's opinion really matters? Well, anyone else who's going to be vocal in their disapproval, I guess. I think the best way to say no is to look really flustered and say "Oh, I feel *really* bad, but I really can't do it. I'm *so* busy already and really need to step back a bit and take a bit of me time (there's a reason that concept is used in so many advertisments.) I'm *so* sorry to have to let you down, but oh, you know what it's like. It's so easy to over commit isn't it? (Big sigh) I *really* hope you can find someone else. Sometimes we really need more than 24 hours in a day, don't we!"
So, I'm not going to slap you, I'm going to say "There, there, Dear! It's someone else's turn to run the world!"
:)
Rosie

[Colleen]

http://www.33smiley.com/smiley5/baddies/11.gif

I don't know where you come up with these so-called smilies, but that guy is downright spooky!:blink:

[Colleen]

I'm a firm believer that people do what they want to do. Some folks get a strange satisfaction from over-commitment, imo. There can be any number of reasons: It makes them feel needed, wanted, worthwhile; it allows them to avoid addressing other areas of their life; they want to tell people how busy they are (not saying this is you, but I definitely know some people like this)...Whatever the reason, if you genuinely don't want to be in that position, you'll say no. So what do you truly want? That I can not say. But I can say that one of my few gifts is in avoiding over-commitment. I choose my commitments very carefully.

[Jackie in AR]

I'm a firm believer that people do what they want to do. Some folks get a strange satisfaction from over-commitment, imo. There can be any number of reasons: It makes them feel needed, wanted, worthwhile; it allows them to avoid addressing other areas of their life; they want to tell people how busy they are (not saying this is you, but I definitely know some people like this)...

I definitely think this is true, Colleen.

I've seen people who seem to be in competition with others to see who can be the most overcommitted. It seems to give them a sense of importance.

Kelli, I am not at all saying this is you.

My life seems much more under control since I learned to say NO. No reasons, no excuses, just NO.