Bus Stop Issues

[Cadam]

Some kids are teasing dd at the bus stop and calling her names. I met their mom at the bus stop early this year and she is a no-nonsense kind of mom who will put a stop to this if I can get ahold of her but I don't have her number or address.

There is a mom who waits there in her car everyday and I am going to go with dd today and see if the car mom can help me out.

Any advice?

[Cadam]

The car mom wasn't there but the younger sister of the bullies is a very sweet little girl. She didn't know her mom's phone number but she gave me her dad's and yes, I confirmed that mom and dad live together.

[cougarmom4]

No advice...just sending good luck and hoping the situation gets worked out. Nothing like someone teasing your kid to bring out the mama bear claws...

:grouphug:

[strider]

No advice...just sending good luck and hoping the situation gets worked out. Nothing like someone teasing your kid to bring out the mama bear claws...

:grouphug:

:iagree:

:grouphug:

[Cadam]

I talked to the dad who was very nice. Apparently the oldest kid is a known bully and they are trying to deal with it so, sadly I guess, he wasn't surprised. He said he will talk to them and call me back.

I was so nervous!

I am glad that I have met the mom before and I know she won't just brush it off. She is pretty strict so I actually have hope that this will get resolved.

In the meantime dd has taken it upon herself to ask her best friend, next door, if she can get a ride to school. We will see what comes of that. The neighbor girl's mom takes her to school.

[katilac]

The only advice I have is to minimize reasons for the mom to get defensive; be very careful with your wording. I wouldn't lead with 'teasing' or 'they're calling her names.' You don't say what kind of names, but if at all possible, I'd hit a nice slow softball, and say something like, "I'm sure they don't mean anything by it, but they keep calling my dd Potato Head/Nerd/Baby, and it's really bothering her."

Given a graceful exit, most moms will quickly promise to talk to them and clear up the 'misunderstanding.' Of course, this approach doesn't work if they are calling truly ugly names that can't possibly be meant in fun - in that case, you need to switch to, "I'm sure you're not aware . . . "

Good luck; let us know what she says.

[katilac]

I talked to the dad who was very nice. Apparently the oldest kid is a known bully and they are trying to deal with it so, sadly I guess, he wasn't surprised. He said he will talk to them and call me back.

I was so nervous!

I am glad that I have met the mom before and I know she won't just brush it off. She is pretty strict so I actually have hope that this will get resolved.

In the meantime dd has taken it upon herself to ask her best friend, next door, if she can get a ride to school. We will see what comes of that. The neighbor girl's mom takes her to school.

Funny, we were posting at the same time!

If this doesn't solve it, are you able to stay at the bus stop? Also, most schools discipline bus stop behavior, so that's another threat you can mention (and this kid can also be kicked off the bus if she does not behave at the bus stop).

How sad that a kid with seemingly concerned, involved parents has a rep as a bully; I wonder what is causing that?

[Cadam]

The dad called back. He said he lined up his kids to ask what happened. The youngest who is dd's friend gave the same version of events that I had. The two big kids said they didn't even know who dd was. He said he was not inclined to believe them and that this was not the first call about the oldest bullying.

I told him that I had really like his wife when we met and was sorry this had to be our first phone call.

He said he would take care of it so we will see what happens Monday. Tomorrow I will go with her again. My plan is to hang back a little so that hopefully they don't see me. I don't want there to be retribution and the dad asked if she was physically ok, which was a little alarming.

Poor guy, he had the resigned sigh of someone who had had this conversation too many times.

[Cadam]

Funny, we were posting at the same time!

If this doesn't solve it, are you able to stay at the bus stop? Also, most schools discipline bus stop behavior, so that's another threat you can mention (and this kid can also be kicked off the bus if she does not behave at the bus stop).

How sad that a kid with seemingly concerned, involved parents has a rep as a bully; I wonder what is causing that?

It is challenging for me to be at the bus stop daily. Really, if that is what it comes down to I will just drive her.

She initially really liked riding the bus and I have a student that comes here for school at the same time her school starts. It is only 5 min. away but sitting in the drop off line takes forever.

Ultimately I will do whatever nessesary to keep her safe and that may mean standing at the stop, sending her with her friend's mom or taking her myself.

I do wonder if this is why no one else in the cul-de-sac has their kids ride the bus. I think they would have told me though.

[presley]

I'm sorry :sad: I hope this works out well for all involved. Sounds you like are handling it very diplomatically with the dad. Plenty of opportunity to talk to our kids about bullying and right from wrong, the golden rule, etc., in a situation like this.

I'm not looking forward to this type of thing when my kiddo starts K next year. Riding the school bus is one of the things I'm most apprehensive about.

[Mama2Three]

My DS rides the bus. Almost all the parents are at the bus stop. While I'm all for letting kids have some freedom, I think that this is a situation that needs to be monitored with an adult there. I have 3 kids, and it's no fun getting the toddler up and dressed and ready for the stop, plus my DD who is homeschooled, but we're all there every morning at 7:35 (and we beforeschool). I applaud the dad for asking you the question about whether your daughter was hurt -- tough question, but he is facing the situation head on. And he might be letting you know (indirectly) that his daughter's bullying has escalated with others to this level. One caveat I'll add is that bullying is a learned behavior, so the daughter might be picking it up in some way from home.

Here is a book that comes well recommended for bullying. http://www.amazon.com/Bully-Bullied-Bystander-Preschool-HighSchool-How/dp/0061744603/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1263737525&sr=8-1-spell

Overall our busriding experience has been a good one. DS loves riding the bus. As I've said, I'm always at the stop -- lots of running and playing tag, etc but monitored. We've had a very good bus driver which helps -- strict but with a smile, knew all the kids' names, gave out Halloween treats, etc. This year the bus driver is strict but not in a good way. Even still, I sometimes threaten DS with dropping him off at school if he's not ready for the bus on time -- really helps him get his schoolwork from me done. :lol:

Good luck!