You know, Jeanne in MN's post about number of children got me thinking....

[Maria from IN]

We always get comments about number of children, whether too many or too few, but her post reminded me of something my mother used to say to people.

She would be talking to other parents (usually in the stands at the ballfield--thanks to me, she spent a long time picking splinters out of undesirable places) and they would say something to her like: "You're so lucky to have such good, well-behaved children.":001_huh:

Naturally she would shoot back: "Lucky? Are you kidding? It took 15 (or 10, or however old we were at the time) years of d@mn hard work to get them to this point, and there are more long hard years ahead! No one 'lucks out.'"

She was right there, of course. I see now that parents have to work hard to make sure their kids turn out okay. Anybody else hear this from other people? Usually the stereotype is that homeschooling families are full of wonderful, model children who are always polite, etc.

What do you say to others?

[Karenciavo]

I usually say thank you or that it's by God's grace, he knows what a short-fused so and so I am and he didn't give me more than I can bear.

[Hen Jen]

I get that a lot, and I've never known a good response. I think it is a lot of hard work too, it's not that I was given 4 perfect angel children- I've worked hard to correct things with them, starting when it is just an attitude..way, way before ever getting to a mis-behaving point. I really have no good reply, because I am afraid of coming off sounding better-than-thou. I do get a little steamed when I am told I am "lucky" while chatting with a parent that does nothing as little Suzie screams in my child's face and grabs something away from her and the parent does not react, or correct -does nothing.

ohhh, gotta stop now...

[MichelleWI]

It's true that it really is work to raise children properly. Too many people parent on auto-pilot.

I become frustrated when people openly state their disdain for or shock concerning our style of parenting and in nearly the next breath praise our children's behavior. Well-behaved children don't just happen. It takes time and love and training and discipline and a real heart for your child to be able to raise them up to be the children that these people compliment while tearing down our parenting choices..

[Amy in Orlando]

When someone asks me how I ended up with such nice, interesting, funny, smart polite kids? I tell them 15 years of hard work. Because that is what it takes. They were not always (and still aren't) funny or interesting or smart. That is/was my job and I've done it. Period. Kind of *****y, but I'm old and entitled. Kind of.

I know everyone's situation is different and I'm mostly referring to people who "have it all" as opposed to most families (they have the giant house, the pool, the lawn and pool services, and on and on). I would never say this to a family where I know mom/dad are working simply to pay the electric bill. We've been there and done that and, in my mind, that is a totally different matter. And, thinking about it, the kids we know from families where everyone is working and trying to make ends meet are the SUPER good kids. They get it.

Earlier in my "homschooling" career I would have shrugged and said "Oh, we're just lucky." Now that the boys are older, and I'm exhausted and way less patient I don't have so much patience for other peoples' feelings. I put in the time, the effort and the drudgery and it's paying off. If they didn't do the same, mind you I'm kind of hormonal right now, but that was their choice and you can't take it back.

[Jeanne in MN]

[QUOTE

Naturally she would shoot back: "Lucky? Are you kidding? It took 15 (or 10, or however old we were at the time) years of d@mn hard work to get them to this point, and there are more long hard years ahead! No one 'lucks out.'"

What do you say to others?[/QUOTE]

Now you have me thinking! I have invested heart and soul into my kids and I see how it is paying off. It has been as much a personal journey as it has been a parenting journey. I think your mom is right and I would say that to other people. I wouldn't say it out of pride, though, but to share the importance of investing ourselves in our kids because I don't know how many parents realize the involvement and energy needed to make our kids the best they can be.

I've never heard it said before.