Help please! A little boy from dd's preschool just came over to play with her.

[urban_mom]

The father asked if they could have a play date so I invited him over. I don't know this family very well. The father is a prof and seemed very nice. I didn't know the little boy very well either, but the dad said that he talks about my dd all the time. She just turned 5 and he is about to turn 4. He seems to be a little slow (you can't understand his talking very well) and emotionally a little funny (cries very easily). DD has another girlfriend over right now also who I take care of a few days a week. Anyway, he is basically playing alone and doesn't seem to care about being with my dd. Do I need to force her to work him into the game she's playing with her other friend more? I'm afraid the dad is going to ask me what he did all day and he basically has played alone w/ my son's train table. Is that ok? WWYD? This is kinda an odd situation. They also want us to come over sometime and I think my dd is going to be weireded out by just playing with him if we go to their house. WWYD?!

[Snickerdoodle]

Totally ok. At that age, I wouldn't expect them to play "together" very much.

[j.griff]

I would try to get them to play something together, with me directing KWIM? But *I* wouldn't "force" anything on any of them. Maybe they just dont' click, and maybe the boy is just not ready for more interactive play. <shrug>.

[abbeyej]

I would just keep an eye out and make sure that your daughter and her friend are not (even inadvertently) excluding him. But as long as he's happy as well, I wouldn't worry about "forcing" the kids to play together. Children that age often go back and forth between the "parallel" play that toddlers do and the interactive play that preschoolers and older children do.

I think over the course of the day, the children will likely play in several different ways, together and separately.

If the dad asks, just tell him what happened, "They played together some, but he mostly seemed to enjoy playing with the trains" or whatever...

Also, I'm sure you know this, but articulation and intelligence aren't particularly linked. The child may be quite bright despite your difficulty understanding him.

[urban_mom]

I would just keep an eye out and make sure that your daughter and her friend are not (even inadvertently) excluding him. But as long as he's happy as well, I wouldn't worry about "forcing" the kids to play together. Children that age often go back and forth between the "parallel" play that toddlers do and the interactive play that preschoolers and older children do.

I think over the course of the day, the children will likely play in several different ways, together and separately.

If the dad asks, just tell him what happened, "They played together some, but he mostly seemed to enjoy playing with the trains" or whatever...

Also, I'm sure you know this, but articulation and intelligence aren't particularly linked. The child may be quite bright despite your difficulty understanding him.

I shouldn't have said "slow"...I'm trying to keep a close eye on everyone and trying to explain it quickly. He actually probably is very smart. He was making me pretend food in the kitchen and said "do you want [the eggs] with chedder or ghouda?" It was a little mumbly, but I thought knowing ghouda was so cute. He's great...sorry if I offended with the "slow" remark.

[j.griff]

If it makes any difference, my ds tends to be enamored with other people's toys much more so than the actual other people, LOL. It's best for my ds to meet friends at a park for a play date, so that he interacts with them more than just asking to play with this and that and can he please bring that toy home with him (which I don't allow, LOL). He's 6yo.

[Carol in Cal.]

Then later they would sort of gravitate toward each other, and end up playing together. It was pretty funny to watch.

Also at that age DD was fascinated by animals, so if a friend had a pet, she would hardly talk to the friend. We used to discuss this in advance so that it wasn't so blatant, and I would ask her about it afterwards. I helped her to learn what being a polite guest was all about.

She had friends who were equally interested in specific other types of things. She had one friend who love trains beyond all else, and another who loved spaceships and astronauts. If we had ANYTHING out with those two genres, that was the ONLY thing that was played with. Thankfully, DD was interested in everything, so she didn't mind an occasional focus like that.

[JFS in IL]

hope I spelled (spelt?) that correctly - it is the stage where a kidlet will play alongside but not with another kidlet.

[Whisperlily]

I agree with the others... but, with a child *almost 4* most playdates we had included parents.

While I don't think there's anything wrong with having young friends over, my first thought was that the Dad was looking for some free babysitting. ;)