Desperately Seeking Advice

[jjhankins97]

I am new to this whole forum thing but I am here to seek some advice...
I have been homeschooling now for almost 2 yrs. My dd (14) attended public school for K-6 and my ds (10) for K-2. My youngest dd (almost 5) has obviously never been. My problem... my oldest wants desperately to go back into public education for high school. My other two are very content with being home with mom. I feel that my daughter wanting to go back is due to my lacking in MANY areas. I feel so overwhelmed. I can't get my stuff together. Not to mention I care for my high maintennance 2yo niece everyday (M-F). Somedays we don't even get to school because of me. I feel we are so behind and my children are suffering because of my lack of motivation. I have tried new curriculums thinking that maybe that will get us into the swing of things but I have the same end results. With all the chaos here, sometimes I can understand my daughter wanting to be in high school. Am I sounding too whiny here? Am I the only HS mom that goes through this? I am desperately seeking some advice/suggestions from some veterans out there.

[Jean in Newcastle]

No, you are not alone! And yes, I've felt this way many times.

I'm going to focus primarily on your 14 year old here. At 14, I would expect that she should be able to do most of her work on her own. You said that you've changed curriculums at times. What are you using? Since this a TWTM board, I'm going to recommend that you get the book and look at some recommendations for your 14 year old (if you haven't already done this). Or at this late date in the school year, just take out her current books and work with them.

What I do for my 10 year old should work very well for a 14 year old (BTW I would do it for your 10 year old too but modify it somewhat if she's not used to working at all on her own). Let her pick out a clip board she likes at the office supply store. Do you have a schedule? If not, make one on the computer at night when you don't have the 2 year old to watch (I use Outlook in Microsoft Office but many here swear by other calendar systems). Our schedule goes: history, math, (break for lunch), typing, music practice, reading for history/literature (while the youngers and I have a "quiet time" break), (snack break), grammar, Latin, "electives" - music 1x a week, art 1x a week, science 2x a week. I copy out a schedule (that has the specific assignments for these subjects on it) for each reading child. It goes on the clipboard. I might spend five minutes "going over" the schedule with each child in the early days. Some subjects will include something like "meet with teacher to go over rough draft of paragraph on Homer" or "meet with teacher to go over new math concept" on certain days. And of course it is always fine to ask me for help or for clarification (even if I sigh inside sometimes.)

[Remudamom]

I sometimes don't even feel like I'm homeschooling anymore, mine do so much of their work themselves. I just oversee, grade, read papers. I think the only thing we really sit down and do together is history.

Fourteen is plenty old enough to be responsible for her own work. Sit down with her and come up with a plan, then help her transition into it.

[Beth in Central TX]

I feel that my daughter wanting to go back is due to my lacking in MANY areas. I feel so overwhelmed. I can't get my stuff together. Not to mention I care for my high maintennance 2yo niece everyday (M-F). Somedays we don't even get to school because of me.

Is it possible not to watch your 2-yr old niece? I finally got passed the toddler stage with all three of my boys, but it was very difficult to homeschool when my youngest son was 2 and 3 years old. If your niece it too distracting, you may need to choose between watching her or homeschooling your oldest.

Based on what you wrote, it sounds like you need to prioritize your day. If I didn't put school before everything else, it wouldn't get done. However, your 14-year old daughter should also be able to take some responsibility herself and get things done even when you can't. We have a school schedule in place, and my two oldest sons can do a lot of the work independently. They know what to do, and they know that I expect them to do it. Of course, I'm right here to teach when I need to and to answer their questions, but as they get older, they are becoming more and more independent.

If you really want to homeschool, I would put together a schedule and then start out slowly with the basics. Get reading, writing, and math done every day regardless of what else is going on. Then, as you become more comfortable with a consistent school schedule, you can add one new subject at a time until you are doing your full schedule. I've found that changing curricula rarely helps when I don't have my act together at home. Sometimes the program is a bad fit, but sometimes, it's just me not wanting to do the work I know I need to do.

I know it's overwhelming at times. I've had thoughts of sending my boys to private school. However, homeschooling has been one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life. I have goals set in place for what I want to accomplish this year, and what I want to get done before they all graduate. Having these goals in place helps me to get through the everyday struggles of homeschooling.

HTH!

[Chris in VA]

Do you have the option of doing any co-op classes, or doing an online class or two (talking 14 yo here)?
I simply can't seem to teach my son to write well, so I handed off that job to Write At Home. Wish I had done it sooner! Next year, he'll take some CC classes, to further lessen the burden on me.

I would definitely come up with a plan for your oldest. And, I'd start trying to figure out how to get school in everyday. Can you start earlier? Can you work thru naptime? Can you do a MOTH-type schedule where you have one of your children watch the littles for half an hour while you work with the other one? Sometimes you can set it up where you just need half an hour to discuss or go over a lesson--10 and 14 are old enough to do a lot independently, as long as you check in everyday, and hold those discussions. What are your 10 and 14 yo's strengths? Where do they need you more?
Give us an idea of your curriculum and what you want to see, then we can help you more specifically.

[jjhankins97]

Thank you so much for all your replies...
At this time we are in a weekly co-op that meets every Monday. My dd is also involved in various church activities. Her curriculum is MMM (Algebra), Apologia Physical Science, Jensen's Grammar, Punctuation, & Format Writing, SOTW 4, R & S Spelling. She does do her work on her own, but the quality of her work is not what it used to be when she was in public school. I feel the need to closely supervise her work but at the same time I'm like "she's fourteen, this should not be happening!!" She gives me trouble about doing her work and then she gets privledges taken away and then she gets better at completing her work and then it goes back to the same way. It's like a vicious circle. At times, I think that she is deliberately tyring to make things difficult so I will throw up my hands and give up. How I wish we had homeschooled from the beginning.
You all are right when it comes to scheduling my time/school day. I am very poor at keeping a schedule and planning, so I tend to keep it to a minimum to avoid failure of sticking to it...not working out so well. I think this is where my frustrations lie. I definetely have some work ahead of me to get this on the right track. Thanks again.