Cadam
03-17-2008, 09:57 AM
Last night ds's mom had a big fight with dh. Basically she is freaking out because her work schedule changed and so now we have ds 5 days a week and if she had done somethings differently she could have kept that extra day with him.
I really do sympathize. She is in a tough place but it's of it is her own making. She is freaking out about our time with ds being "even" Everything revolves around that. She wants him in her "custody" 3.5 days a week. Even if that means he stays home alone all day while she is at work. It is so sad that she is all consumed by this and she totally flipped out on dh. She wants him to be able to stay home and do his school work all by himself for 9 hours a day once he is 13 yo and we just don't think that is a good plan. She brought it up and dh told her we were not ok with that and she went ballistic about everything.
I really care about her and I care about the effect this all has on ds. She is so co-dependent and acts as if she is raising a roommate, someone to keep her company, instead of a child.
Right now she is manipulating ds and making him a negotiating point. Dh and I discussed how the only way we see to take him out of that position is to put him in ps by her house so she has him 5 days a week and she can quit freaking out about being "even".
Right now we get so little family time because we have to do school on the weekends and that is when dh has the most time to spend with ds. When dh tried to talk to her about this and how she really does need to do some school at her house she just told him that we would have to "figure it out". As moms we can love him but what he needs is dad time so he can learn to be a man. She just can't grasp that.
If you are a praying person we could use prayer. Thanks for allowing me to ramble.
I really do sympathize. She is in a tough place but it's of it is her own making. She is freaking out about our time with ds being "even" Everything revolves around that. She wants him in her "custody" 3.5 days a week. Even if that means he stays home alone all day while she is at work. It is so sad that she is all consumed by this and she totally flipped out on dh. She wants him to be able to stay home and do his school work all by himself for 9 hours a day once he is 13 yo and we just don't think that is a good plan. She brought it up and dh told her we were not ok with that and she went ballistic about everything.
I really care about her and I care about the effect this all has on ds. She is so co-dependent and acts as if she is raising a roommate, someone to keep her company, instead of a child.
Right now she is manipulating ds and making him a negotiating point. Dh and I discussed how the only way we see to take him out of that position is to put him in ps by her house so she has him 5 days a week and she can quit freaking out about being "even".
Right now we get so little family time because we have to do school on the weekends and that is when dh has the most time to spend with ds. When dh tried to talk to her about this and how she really does need to do some school at her house she just told him that we would have to "figure it out". As moms we can love him but what he needs is dad time so he can learn to be a man. She just can't grasp that.
If you are a praying person we could use prayer. Thanks for allowing me to ramble.