Rachel
03-16-2008, 08:42 PM
My kids are 13 and 15 years old. Grandma lives 1 mile away with her new husband of 2 years after Grandpa died 3 years ago.
This is a woman who has never shown any interest in her grandkids at all. In the 8 years she has lived within a mile of our house she has had our kids spend the night at her house less than a dozen times............all were before Grandpa died. Never since.
This is a woman who constantly talks about how important family is to her but yet has never called our house to talk to her grandkids, who stopped coming to church when my husband had to start working on Sundays even though the rest of us still go there, and BTW Sunday mornings is the ONLY time we ever see her except for Christmas and Easter by our invitation.
Over the years we have mentioned our concerns to her to no avail........it always comes back to "its all about her"........she is a true narcissist and cannot see things from anyone else's point of view or how actions affect anyone but herself. We have tried to provide opportunities for her to see the kids, we have encouraged her to ask them to do things.......she makes promises to them and then never follows through.
These are her only grandchildren, and my husband is her only son. She will have lunch with my husband during the work week to see him occassionally but never with the kids or me.
So today she shows up for church after 2 months AWOL and asks the kids if they want to go see some drummers at the theatre (which her and her new husband are heavily involved). None of the kids want to go. She does a guilt trip on my 13yo daughter how she rather spend time with her grandkids than her friends but she'll give the tickets to friends if she doesn't want to go.
So we get in the car and the kids are talking about what a joke it is that Grandma says she wants to spend time with them and how she never does. They also tell me they don't want to go and am I going to make them.
I'm really at the point that they are old enough to make their own decisions about if they want to spend time with her or not. So as far as I'm concerned if they don't want to go........I'm not going to make them. Also, I'm done going out of my way to make excuses for her or trying to convince her to spend time with her grandkids.
This whole thing makes my husband and I both furious, but we realize we can't change her. Fortunately my mom lives next door and spends lots of time with the kids so at least they have one grandparent that loves them dearly.
So, would you force your kids to go and/or keep making excuses?
This is a woman who has never shown any interest in her grandkids at all. In the 8 years she has lived within a mile of our house she has had our kids spend the night at her house less than a dozen times............all were before Grandpa died. Never since.
This is a woman who constantly talks about how important family is to her but yet has never called our house to talk to her grandkids, who stopped coming to church when my husband had to start working on Sundays even though the rest of us still go there, and BTW Sunday mornings is the ONLY time we ever see her except for Christmas and Easter by our invitation.
Over the years we have mentioned our concerns to her to no avail........it always comes back to "its all about her"........she is a true narcissist and cannot see things from anyone else's point of view or how actions affect anyone but herself. We have tried to provide opportunities for her to see the kids, we have encouraged her to ask them to do things.......she makes promises to them and then never follows through.
These are her only grandchildren, and my husband is her only son. She will have lunch with my husband during the work week to see him occassionally but never with the kids or me.
So today she shows up for church after 2 months AWOL and asks the kids if they want to go see some drummers at the theatre (which her and her new husband are heavily involved). None of the kids want to go. She does a guilt trip on my 13yo daughter how she rather spend time with her grandkids than her friends but she'll give the tickets to friends if she doesn't want to go.
So we get in the car and the kids are talking about what a joke it is that Grandma says she wants to spend time with them and how she never does. They also tell me they don't want to go and am I going to make them.
I'm really at the point that they are old enough to make their own decisions about if they want to spend time with her or not. So as far as I'm concerned if they don't want to go........I'm not going to make them. Also, I'm done going out of my way to make excuses for her or trying to convince her to spend time with her grandkids.
This whole thing makes my husband and I both furious, but we realize we can't change her. Fortunately my mom lives next door and spends lots of time with the kids so at least they have one grandparent that loves them dearly.
So, would you force your kids to go and/or keep making excuses?