TV issues--we seem to have graduated from Noggin to *gulp* Cartoon Network

[melissel]

My DD5 is no longer interested in the shows on Noggin or PBS Kids. She'll tolerate them sometimes (she still loves Cyberchase and Saddle Club), but mostly she's bored by them. She's been turned on to Cartoon Network by my mom :angry:, and now we're struggling with that. The shows in that channel drive me BONKERS, and I can see a difference in her manner of play, joking, and occasionally speaking. Right now she's watching this awful Tom & Jerry cartoon because it was her turn to choose a show. It's not violent or anything, it's just obnoxious and loud.

I would love to ban the TV altogether to eliminate the issue, but the problem is, DH and I love TV too, so that feels hypocritical. Plus, I can truly see this being the issue she takes to therapy with her as an adult. Am I overreacting, or being overcontrolling? Is this just part of growing up in the media age? I would love some perspective, please.

[KAR120C]

I would love to ban the TV altogether to eliminate the issue, but the problem is, DH and I love TV too, so that feels hypocritical. Plus, I can truly see this being the issue she takes to therapy with her as an adult. Am I overreacting, or being overcontrolling? Is this just part of growing up in the media age? I would love some perspective, please.
Well I might just be overcontrolling too (LOL) but that was when we cancelled cable and just bought DVDs. Fortunately for us, while DH and I do love TV, we really love TV on DVD (movies especially, but also old serieses), and there was plenty we could buy for DS in the "old serieses" vein too, that he enjoyed and that wasn't so obnoxious.

Around his eighth birthday we re-instituted cable, and while he is watching a lot of obnoxious stuff now (including, I believe, the very same Tom and Jerry you're talking about! Right now! LOL) He can keep it sort of at arm's length, and it isn't affecting his play in any noticeable way. Also because of the DVD collection he doesn't watch just whatever's on -- he has shows he knows he likes available at his fingertips, so he can be choosier about what he watches on "live" TV.

It won't go to therapy no matter what you choose! :D

[TCoppock]

DS does not have TV hooked up in his room only his DVD player. Also when he is watching the TV in the living room he is only allowed certain shows. I will not allow any cartoons with violence (Tom and Jerry included.) We had issues with some cartoons when I allowed him to pick but now he knows. He will ask if I will watch a show if it is a new series to see if he has permission. We Tivo appropriate shows like Magic School Bus and Liberty's Kids. I like a channel called Boom that has older cartoons and most aren't too bad (The Jetsons, The Snorks, etc.) I don't think I'm overly controlling but I don't want to allow DS head to be filled with garbage. I think it is wise to stop the shows you find questionable now. Maybe give your DD a choice between two shows that you find appropriate during her time to choose.

[bkpan]

Your perspective is wider than your dd's and you should never feel bad about making a decision that is in her best interest, whether she "likes" it or not. My dc are used to my "over-controlling" behavior, lol. That doesn't mean that they like it, but they are pretty accepting of it. I just tell them that mom approves of the program or it's off. Period. They know that cartoon network and Disney channel are pretty much always no at our house. They mostly stick to videos.
HTH

Kim in TN (used to be in NV)

[JudoMom]

ban the cartoon network. If she doesn't like the other shows then she doesn't have to watch. If this is what takes her to therapy as an adult, you've done a pretty good job ;).

[Michelle T]

and after a few months, came to the conclusion ON HIS OWN that the shows were terrible, and he didn't want to watch it anymore. If I had simply told him to turn it off, he would have automatically resisted, and maintained interest for a much longer time. But then, my DS is quite strong willed!

These days, he mainly watches CNN (he is obsessed with the endless coverage of the primaries), History Channel, Discovery, or whatever channel it is that has that fake, world wide wrestling stuff. Oh, he's 11 now.
Michelle T

[Whisperlily]

We don't allow cartoon network here, either as a general rule. Even for my 9 and 10 year old. There are shows on that channel that are just fine, but they're sprinkled in with animated shows that are intended for adults. I've never given a "blanket okay" to a particular channel.

Buy your son a DVD of Looney Tunes, or insist that it's Noggin, PBS or nothing. ;) My 3 year old loves Noggin during TV time, and although the older kids wouldn't like to actually admit it, they love it too... even the oldest get a chuckle out of Wow Wow Wubzy, et. al.

Stick to your guns Mom. I feel that certain shows aren't okay at certain ages, too. Your 5 year old is at a stage where he is incorporating what he sees and the behaviors he witnesses into his own behavior. And not just with TV. Wait a while. He'll grow into some things later... and some things you'll never want in your own home.

He's too young to have a say. :)

[Tracey in TX]

My motto: Choose Your Battles, but whatever you choose make sure You Win (but it can't apply to everything).

With that being said, we got rid of TV for a year b/c I was fed up with Cartoon Network and incessant idiotic kids' shows which encourages disrespecting or disregarding authority, bratty behavior, and Idiots-R-Us Rules. ugh

When we brought tv back, I put restrictions on shows. Some CN shows are allowed, but are subject to preapproval.

[Laura K (NC)]

The networks are locked, too. In fact, most channels are locked. My husband can unlock them for sports. I'd prefer the TV be gone altogether. My kids don't turn on the TV much because there is literally "nothing" on. :D

[dragons in the flower bed]

Am I overreacting, or being overcontrolling? Is this just part of growing up in the media age? I would love some perspective, please.

I don't think you're overreacting at all. You keep stuff which will make her sick out your daughter's diet, right? So why not control her mental intake as well? You don't want to let your kids get desensitized to ridiculing humor or aggression used as a problem-solving tactic. You really, really don't. If I could change one thing about the past four years, I'd have insisted when I first came into his life at age six that my partner's son never watch Cartoon Network. It's just impossible to convince him that hurtful teasing IS a big deal, because kids on the shows do it constantly.

You might try introducing her to Animal Planet and Discovery Kids. Mine like those as much as Cartoon Network and will happily watch them instead.

You could take her to Common Sense Media (http://www.commonsensemedia.org/) and teach her how to read the review system, then explain to her that she shouldn't watch anything not rated for her age group.

You could also let her choose only one or two shows, and only allow a new one when she trades out.

[nestof3]

I cannot really tell you what to do, but no one in our house watches TV (except the World Series). LOL

The boys only watch videos at my parents and here. They know the rules, and they have to follow them. For us, it takes way too much time and energy to sit and watch shows, and then to make sure the Tv's turned off when that show is over, and control over commercials, and the appetite that it creates for other shows which are previewed, and so forth.

My boys do watch quite a bit of videos, though. It's funny to hear them ask for math, science, and history videos when I go to the library. Math? Hilarious. Little do they know the sort of mush I sat and wasted my hours away on when I was their age.

I personally (since you asked) would just say these are the rules, if you don't like the television shows you are alowed to watch, then go do something else. I don't worry too much about deprival issues -- I worry more about the effect media has on my boys. I refuse to let them watch junk that will just go in and come back out of them.

I operate under the belief that I am the gatekeeper of the home (keep of the home is what most Bibles say), but the literal greek gives more of sense of watchman or gatekeeper. This is one of the roles I take most seriously.

[Jennifer in NH]

I agree that you are the mom! My kids, ds5 and dd7 are allowed only certain shows. Some on Noggin, but fewer and fewer (max and ruby is a don't miss around here) and some on PBS like Cyberchase and Arthur...and 2 on Discovery kids. That is it..well, they also watch "this old house" and other renovation show with their dad! but, that is it...nothing on that list is on, then it is time to find something else to do! I, personally, hate the cartoon network! I guess I am not alone around here!
I would say it was time to get the legos, or building blocks or dolls or trains...you get the idea!;) Good luck!