I don't want to send my ds soon to be 9 to summer camp.

[Virginia Dawn]

There is a Christian camp run by our faith group, 10 minutes from our house.

A lot of women from my congregation are talking about strongly encouraging all the children that are old enough to attend the camp this summer. That would be a whole week at camp without parents. Everyone but me seems to think this is a wonderful idea. I really don't want to send my child.

I have very strong feelings about this, and I'm afraid if I voiced even a little of my opinion, I would hurt somebody's feelings. Not only that, I'm afraid my ds's feelings will be hurt when the other kids and parents will be asking him why he is not going.

I have been to this camp before as an adult supervisor when my daughter attended. It was too disorganised for me. There were issues with the teenage counselors. The children were not supervised 24/7. And on the last day, the kids who want to go on the hayride must have a "date" of the opposite sex. (that really ticks me off)

None of these things seem to bother the other mothers. I've heard comments about how "cute" the hayride thing is and "isn't it wonderful that they get to be with other Christian children." The assumption being that these children are different from other children their age, which I don't see at all.

I need some kind of plausible excuse to give to my son and these well-meaning people, who I know will make my life miserable without intending to.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

There is a Christian camp run by our faith group, 10 minutes from our house.

A lot of women from my congregation are talking about strongly encouraging all the children that are old enough to attend the camp this summer. That would be a whole week at camp without parents. Everyone but me seems to think this is a wonderful idea. I really don't want to send my child.

I have very strong feelings about this, and I'm afraid if I voiced even a little of my opinion, I would hurt somebody's feelings. Not only that, I'm afraid my ds's feelings will be hurt when the other kids and parents will be asking him why he is not going.

I have been to this camp before as an adult supervisor when my daughter attended. It was too disorganised for me. There were issues with the teenage counselors. The children were not supervised 24/7. And on the last day, the kids who want to go on the hayride must have a "date" of the opposite sex. (that really ticks me off)

None of these things seem to bother the other mothers. I've heard comments about how "cute" the hayride thing is and "isn't it wonderful that they get to be with other Christian children." The assumption being that these children are different from other children their age, which I don't see at all.

I need some kind of plausible excuse to give to my son and these well-meaning people, who I know will make my life miserable without intending to.

Have your other kids ever "done" camp? If yes, what ages?

[Virginia Dawn]

Only my dd who was 9 and 10 years old. Her father and I went those years as counselors/teachers. We carted the 2 older boys along, but they were just toddlers then. Nobody has been since.

[Claire]

Can you plan something very special for that specific week? Could be anything -- a visit to the grandparents or other relatives, a day at the beach with cousins, etc. Then talk to your son about your plan. If anyone asks, just say your family has plans for that week. Be firm about not being able to change them. In general, when in a situation like this, you want to simply state the same thing over and over again (e.g., "We have plans for that week.") and eventually they will stop asking questions about it.

[Mama Bear]

to plan a beach trip. :)

[Janet in WA]

I can't help with an excuse. Only the truth. I think 9 is too young for a week away at camp. No matter how "Christian" the other children are.

[Virginia Dawn]

to plan a beach trip. :)

There is something I've always wanted to do, that would be the perfect time.

[Janna]

I can't help with an excuse. Only the truth. I think 9 is too young for a week away at camp. No matter how "Christian" the other children are.

I agree completely with this. Whether or not the other mom's think it's OK for their kids, doesn't mean it is for yours. You obviously have reasons for not wanting to send your child, so don't.

Always go with the truth, which in your situation can just be, "I'm not comfortable with it this year. Maybe next year when I re-evaluate it, it will be different."

And then after you tell the truth, then schedule that beach trip. :)

[Momto4kids]

and I wouldn't send him either.

I personally don't think you need to come up with any excuse. I think it is perfectly ok to say that you just aren't comfortable with sending him.

I like everyones idea of coming up with someting special for that week so your ds doesn't feel left out and in turn you could use that as an excuse for not sending him.

I really feel for you. Fortunately most people that we hang out with would feel the same way I do about it so it wouldn't be an issue for us.

[Staci in MO]

Our church sends kids that age to camp each year. Some parents aren't ready for their kids to go. There's not a thing in the world wrong with that.

If planning a trip that week will ease your ds's disappointment and it's within your ability to do so, great. If anybody questions you further smile politely and pass the bean dip. You don't owe them any explanation.

[Beth in Central TX]

I agree that 9 is too young. We still haven't felt comfortable enough to send our boys off to any type of camp by themselves, so we don't. I also don't need an excuse to give the other parents. I tell them that we don't want to send our boys to camp yet because we don't feel like it's the best thing for our family right now. If they feel like it's good for their family, then I totally support their decision, but our decision won't change because of what others do or don't do. How did we end up back in junior high anyway??

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Only my dd who was 9 and 10 years old. Her father and I went those years as counselors/teachers. We carted the 2 older boys along, but they were just toddlers then. Nobody has been since.

Well, it looks like the problem is solved, but one thing you could say is that your family doesn't "do" camp unless the parents are counselors.

A camp that *promotes* pairing off would be given a pass EVERY year. But that's just me.

[Momto4kids]

A camp that *promotes* pairing off would be given a pass EVERY year. But that's just me.

I totally agree with this. No way would I ever let my child go if this was something they promoted or allowed.

:iagree:

[strider]

I agree with the posters who said to just say, "We won't be joining in this year. Thanks for thinking of us." Smile brightly and change the subject. If they go on and on about the wonderfulness of camp, just smile and say something like, "I'm sure your child will have a great time! He/she must really be looking forward to it!"

FWIW I have not yet sent my 11yodd to camp despite her begging and the fact that all her friends have gone. In our case, my dd really falls apart on overnights. Nobody would ever guess it, because she is a very confident young lady. BUT she really, really struggles to hold it together for an overnight. I cannot even imagine letting her go for multiple nights.

Our solution to her desire for camp was twofold:

--I found a great horsemanship day camp close by. She would have felt like a regular day camp was for babies, but she is really, really excited about going to a ranch/farm day camp. She has been horse-crazy for two years now.

--We are also going as a family to Family Camp. We are all really looking forward to it. My kids will have the full camp experience all day in the kids' programs but get to sleep with us at night.

[Danestress]

I think this is one of those things you have to just not do without really getting into "why" since many of your issues are from a number of years ago, and things might have changed some.

I would just not do it and not get into it.

[Anne/Ankara]

Resist peer pressure! And show your kids that you can decide independently what is right for your family. I'm sure you'll feel better and be more respected if you stick to your own gut instincts-- which, by the way, I agree with... 9 is way too young for sleep over camp no matter who runs it!