What do you do when...

[Crissy]

you notice the quality of your teen's school work is slipping?

My teen has always been a hard worker, but in the past few months it is a struggle to get him to put the required amount of effort into even those subjects which come rather easily.

In the beginning, I was worried that my expectations were too high, but his math and Latin teachers are seeing the same thing.

Is it a phase, and if so, how do I knock the phase out of him without visible damage? ;)

Seriously, though, what tactics have worked with your teens?

He is almost 14, and in eighth grade. He takes two classes at the local jr. high (math and science) and the remainder of his studies are done at home.

(I originally posted this on the General board, but it was recommended that I cross post here.)

[Anne/Ankara]

Could it be due to the huge physical growth going on? I would imagine that can be distracting to young fellows-- every day my ds seems bigger, more mature, right before my eyes! Amazing. Can you tell if it is due to "mental fog" of raging hormones, or physical exhaustion?

Or perhaps, some young people might suffer from work overload, simply adjusting to the increased volume of homework/studies, when they would really just prefer to play outside... some days my ds in 8th grade is like that. Luckily with homeschooling you can adjust the schedule sometimes, if there is just too much on his plate.

Also, I try to make sure there are areas of success that the student can point to, because you want them to stay motivated for the long haul, and if they get too much negative feedback on their studies, they might feel disengaged from their work. I've seen some of our homeschool friends who say things like, "I guess math is not his thing," if the student doesn't do well on some test or something, but hey, you can't accept a temporary glitch in studies when there's still so much to learn... in my opinion, you have to help him get right back into it, with the understanding that set-backs will happen to all of us, at one time or another!

Just a few random thoughts...

[Jan P.]

Hi,

I went through this with my ds all during high school. I will say that he was more motivated to work hard for another teacher than for me. I cajoled, took away priviledges, and more to no avail. I do think my ds is more of a dreamer type so hard studying was not his thing. I will tell you this though. My ds is in college now, and he is working harder than he ever did for me. I haven't said much to him other than he needs to start earlier to get papers done. I think he is learning on his own the consequences of turning in papers late, so he is a bit more motivated to do better the next time. I know it's hard when you dream of your child going to a great college, but the child isn't dishing out the work. I learned that the child has to want something bad enough to put out the effort. I do think that if my ds had a male mentor to take him in hand that things would have been different. I noticed that C.S. Lewis kind of went through a stage like this, and he eventually had a great male tutor who pushed him to great things.

FWIW,

[FloridaLisa]

Crissy,

First, I don't think this is uncommon for teens, and I've heard this complaint especially of boys. My own ds went through a period in which I had to stay on top of him every day. I think it's a combination of hormones, immaturity, not having the same vision we have, work ethic, etc. I kept the same standards, made expectations clear, stepped up my oversight and enforced with consequences. If his work wasn't done then he didn't go to basketball practice/youth group, etc. and worked until it was done. My husband began taking an active role in overseeing his homeschool work.

He is now 16 and does much better. We've had the same experience as Jan in that ds works very wellfor others. Competition in outside classes seems to be his best motivator.

No real words of wisdom here. :) Sorry about that. Just encouragement to keep your standards the same and motivate him through your cheerleading and consequences where necessary.

Hang in there!
Lisa