I'm mad. Am I just a stick in the mud?

[hpymomof3]

First of all, for those of you who are teachers please forgive me. I know there are many wonderful teachers out there. I have relatives and friends who are teachers and my dd wants to be a teacher but...

Last year my dd went to the public high school. It was obvious that many of the teachers could care less about the students and we also didn't feel that dd was getting a very good education so we bit the bullet and sent her to a private christian high school this year. Up until now we have been pleased with the school.

I've written a few times over the past week about dd's struggle with her english term paper. Each Friday the teacher has a conference with 2 of the students. This is the time that the student can ask questions about the paper. My dd was scheduled to have her conference last Thursday. It was the teachers birthday so instead of the conferences she scheduled a party and they were going to watch High School Musical. In the meantime a few of the students planned a surprise birthday party and decorated the room with posters and brought in a cake. They spent the rest of the time outside.

First of all, I normally would't mind them having a break from their studies being that it was the last day before spring break. It is unfortunate though that my dd really needed help with her paper and couldn't have the conference with her.

When the teacher walked into the room she saw the picture of Zach and ran up to it and pretended to make out with him. I thought this was inappropriate especially since she is married. To top it all off when she went to cut up the cake she noticed that there was an eyelash in the cake and she announced "at least it wasn't a p---c hair. I was really shocked that she would say something like that.

Am I just a stick in the mud or would this upset you too?

[Pencil Pusher]

Dd needs a different teacher. This one's trying to hard to be "cool."

Or she IS "cool."

[Antonia]

Yuk. That's all I can say, yuk.

[PrairieAir]

Um, that's really bizarre.:blink:

I don't think I would let it disturb me too much, though. I would be more concerned about getting my dd the help she needs from the teacher. Can your dd email her or call her and let her know she needs help?

[WTMindy]

I work with high schoolers, and they even think I am pretty "cool" as far as old teachers go, but I can't imagine every doing anything like making out with a teen-ager (poster) or making a comment like that about the hair!!! It is even stranger that this is at a Christian school.

This would really annoy me on many levels.
1. That your dd didn't get the help she needed!
2. That they wasted time (of which you are paying dearly for)
3. That the teacher was so inappropriate with the students

I would talk to the principal about this. I'm so grossed out by the hair comment!!

[hpymomof3]

DD already emailed her but hasn't heard back. She is on a 2 week spring break now. Last week the teacher was gone for a few days. My dd would have tried to approach her after school the days the teacher was there but my dd had physical therapy right after school.

I also emailed this teacher a few weeks ago asking for her advice. My dd often spends hours a night on homework and I wanted to know if she felt that my dd was doing something wrong. The teacher really wasn't much help. Basically she just said that it is a tough time of year. This teacher told us that this is a college level paper but I feel that if it is that difficult that she really needs to help the students more than she is.

I guess her comments in class on Thursday were just the icing on the cake so to speak.

[Elisabeth in IL]

Especially for a Christian school, I find the eyelash/ P**** hair comment very inappropriate. The kissing the picture of Zach just a bit immature but not a big deal IMO. The fact that your daughter needs help is the biggest concern and you need to do what you can to get her the help.

[Sue G in PA]

Wow. This teacher is walking that fine line btwn friend and teacher and has just crossed it. Yikes. Not only that, but it doesn't seem she cares to help with the assignments she gives. Not good. Especially if it's a tough assignment, which it seems to be. My dh was a high school teacher and he could tell you some stories about teachers who don't care. Sad, but true. Now, dh is in high school reform and "coaches" teachers and boy does he come across some "winners"! This teacher doesn't seem to be one that just doesn't care rather one that just doesn't "know" how to do better? So sorry your dd is going through this.

[Pencil Pusher]

I work with high schoolers, and they even think I am pretty "cool" as far as old teachers go,

Yep, me, too. But I had a principal once who told me I needed to watch MTV in the evenings so I could "speak their language." Um, I don't want to. I want to raise them to *my* level of speech, lol! ETA: "Cool" does not nec. result in "respect" but respect can lead kids to think you're "cool."

Fwiw, this guy also told me I was too white. (He was an overweight white guy in a suit & tie, lol.) I'm sure his students thought he was WAY cool.:glare:

I would talk to the principal about this.

ITA!! ESPECIALLY because it's a Christian school, but no matter what, this is all wildly inappropriate behvior, imo.

[Tracey in TX]

WOW. I'm speechless...and that's unusual.

Contact the principal ASAP, school board, etc. This woman needs to find a profession with older, saucier type people. She does not belong in a school where she is influencing teens.

btw, I'd read her the riot act before I call the principal. Find out her story, and forewarn her what's about to hit the fan.

[Plaid Dad]

No, you are not a stick in the mud. Her actions and comments are wildly inappropriate, imo. I would be talking both to her and to the principal.

[Crissy]

I think your daughter's teacher is out of line. I would schedule a meeting with the three of you (mom, dd, teacher) and try to work it out before going to the principal. But, if I didn't find satisfaction in the teacher's behavior after the meeting, and find the appropriate help for my child, I wouldn't hesitate to speak with The Boss.

[WendyK]

Oh my. :blink: I consider myself to be pretty tolerant and laid back, but that is very strange behavior for a teacher.

In terms of not getting her conference, I hope your daughter at least gets a make up time.

[Laura K (NC)]

you might have a sympathetic audience with the pastor(s) of the church.

Teachers in private schools don't have the union protection that public school teachers have. They have to mind their p's and q's better. Unless this teacher is the wife of someone important, I believe her actions will come back to bite her. She needs to be disciplined. If my kids were in a Christian school I would not tolerate that.

[strider]

I cannot imagine any teacher from my school behaving in the manner you describe.

I did have one science teacher who told a passing gas story from his youth--it was really hilarious, and he was not obscene in either word or action when he told the story.

I had one teacher who was a little bawdy. He was a VERY dramatic individual (honestly, every bit as crazy and wonderful as Mr. Keating from Dead Poets Society)--his bawdiness was somewhat in context, though, in discussing Renaissance literature and poetry themes. I don't recall feeling embarrassed at his behavior or words, and as a parent I cannot recall anything that gives me pause. He was never graphic, and if the subject was spoken of, he was able to speak in a way that helped us understand the symbolism in the literature without being hideously embarrassed.

All of which to say--I cannot imagine ANY teacher in my high school behaving in the manner you describe.

I would also have big issues with a teacher canceling a meeting with a student and not rescheduling that meeting.

[Tami]

This teacher is not setting an example of Christian purity or modesty. Acting lustful with an image of an underage boy? Coarse words about hair? If she is not repentant she should be disciplined.

I would talk to the principal immediately and be able to defend your position from Scripture.

Sad.

[Colleen]

I don't want to imply that you shouldn't trust your daughter, but I am always wary of basing my reactions on hearsay. So if you choose to pursue what happened on the teacher's birthday, I think it's important to first speak with her directly to hear her version of events. I would do that via a meeting at which you, your daughter, and the principal are all present. If this teacher did indeed behave in this manner, I think her superiors should be made aware of that. Of course, the sticky wicket is that the teacher will likely not respond well and your daughter still has to get this paper done and finish out the class.

Alternatively, you might choose to ignore her behavior and instead just schedule a meeting between the three of you (you, daughter, teacher) and focus on getting your dd the help she needs to complete her assignment. Bleh, not easy, and I don't envy you.

[strider]

:001_smile:

[LG Gone Wild]

When the teacher walked into the room she saw the picture of Zach and ran up to it and pretended to make out with him. I thought this was inappropriate especially since she is married. To top it all off when she went to cut up the cake she noticed that there was an eyelash in the cake and she announced "at least it wasn't a p---c hair. I was really shocked that she would say something like that.

Am I just a stick in the mud or would this upset you too?

:001_huh:. I have a knack for off-color remarks and dirty jokes so I don't get offended easily. That lady is just unbalanced. In your shoes, I would have pulled my dd aside and said, "My dear, I am so sorry but your teacher is a fruitcake." And I would say as much to the principal.

[Ohio12]

I am a former high school English teacher and that is all very inappropriate! I agree exactly with what WTMindy wrote, but I am writing anyway so that you know ANOTHER person, who has worked at a Christian HS thinks that this is all VERY bad. I would talk to the principal. Please write us and let us know how it all turns out.

[Ohio12]

"I don't want to imply that you shouldn't trust your daughter, but I am always wary of basing my reactions on hearsay. So if you choose to pursue what happened on the teacher's birthday, I think it's important to first speak with her directly to hear her version of events. I would do that via a meeting at which you, your daughter, and the principal are all present. If this teacher did indeed behave in this manner, I think her superiors should be made aware of that. Of course, the sticky wicket is that the teacher will likely not respond well and your daughter still has to get this paper done and finish out the class.

Alternatively, you might choose to ignore her behavior and instead just schedule a meeting between the three of you (you, daughter, teacher) and focus on getting your dd the help she needs to complete her assignment. Bleh, not easy, and I don't envy you."

Thinking about what this poster said...I have to agree. Maybe get your daughter some help first and then talk to the principal. But they should at some point find out about this because they will want to deal with it.

[CookieMonster]

No, you are not a stick in the mud. Her actions and comments are wildly inappropriate, imo. I would be talking both to her and to the principal.

:iagree:

[Jennifer in NH]

I am one more person who thinks this is totally outrageous and you should speak with the principal!

[Mrs Mungo]

No, you are not a stick in the mud. Her actions and comments are wildly inappropriate, imo. I would be talking both to her and to the principal.

I agree, 100%. Wildly inappropriate is the perfect phrase.

[elegantlion]

Ditto to what the others have said. What is truly sad, is that now your dd is on break and probably needed the help BEFORE the break. If you're truly bold, can you contact the teacher on break and ask for the appointment she was supposed to have already. They did waste your dd's time, so IMO it's only fair.

I would be ticked.