Chris in VA
03-15-2008, 09:24 AM
I know admin will probably merge this thread, but I wanted to start it fresh for a while, anyway.
Yesterday, I felt like there was some sort of cosmic violin string quivering, holding the same, unresolved note for hours. The disposition (desposition?) was at 3:00. Ds' probation officer and the Commonwealth lawyer went first, asking the judge to send ds to a program that we didn't want ( we didn't like it because of the "toughness" of the approach there, which we felt would trigger son, and because it's basically in our neighborhood, and unlocked--he could bolt and have access to unsavory "friends", and go underground). They pulled in a prelim report from a psychiatrist who did son's neuropsych. The Dr. told us one thing and the p.o, another. Ds was convinced he would go to the treatment program.
Well, ds is home. Home! There was no opening at the facility, no alternative facility given by the state, and we made a simple but strong case for having ds come home and do counselling and AA here. I've been doing a lot of legwork on this, and we think it may work. We asked God with all our hearts to have the judge do the right thing, not what we wanted, necessarily. We really released ds to God's care, know that He knows so much more than we do about our son.
We are "cautiously optimistic" about having ds home. He was stunned, absolutely stunned, at being allowed to come home. And, he told us right away that he had a friend who was going to hide him, and that he had planned to run to California if we sent him to the facility. The relief on his face that he didn't do that was clear and profound.
There's something about enormous grace that can change one's world. Grace--"unmerited favor"--"getting what you don't deserve"--"not getting what you do deserve"--
We aren't stupid. We have intensive counselling ready to go, a behavioural contract, AA meetings, son has a sponsor, we have a supportive community, and our faith strong (and not necessarily in our son). He will fail. We will fail. I don't know how this will work out. But today, it is ok.
And Riley the Golden Retriever is extremely happy. His pack is complete.
Yesterday, I felt like there was some sort of cosmic violin string quivering, holding the same, unresolved note for hours. The disposition (desposition?) was at 3:00. Ds' probation officer and the Commonwealth lawyer went first, asking the judge to send ds to a program that we didn't want ( we didn't like it because of the "toughness" of the approach there, which we felt would trigger son, and because it's basically in our neighborhood, and unlocked--he could bolt and have access to unsavory "friends", and go underground). They pulled in a prelim report from a psychiatrist who did son's neuropsych. The Dr. told us one thing and the p.o, another. Ds was convinced he would go to the treatment program.
Well, ds is home. Home! There was no opening at the facility, no alternative facility given by the state, and we made a simple but strong case for having ds come home and do counselling and AA here. I've been doing a lot of legwork on this, and we think it may work. We asked God with all our hearts to have the judge do the right thing, not what we wanted, necessarily. We really released ds to God's care, know that He knows so much more than we do about our son.
We are "cautiously optimistic" about having ds home. He was stunned, absolutely stunned, at being allowed to come home. And, he told us right away that he had a friend who was going to hide him, and that he had planned to run to California if we sent him to the facility. The relief on his face that he didn't do that was clear and profound.
There's something about enormous grace that can change one's world. Grace--"unmerited favor"--"getting what you don't deserve"--"not getting what you do deserve"--
We aren't stupid. We have intensive counselling ready to go, a behavioural contract, AA meetings, son has a sponsor, we have a supportive community, and our faith strong (and not necessarily in our son). He will fail. We will fail. I don't know how this will work out. But today, it is ok.
And Riley the Golden Retriever is extremely happy. His pack is complete.