Tears, tears and more tears

[MicheleB]

The OT wants my sons to work on writing 5 words a day. 9 yo ds wrote 10 words at OT with great difficulty. So today we tried 5 words. After the first word, he was in major tears and just SO distraught I just had him write letter 'a's (lower case). That ended in tears and frustration as well. He's much better with the angular lines of upper case letters, that is why we're working on lower case. Not that upper case is great, it still looks like 3yo wrote it.

This is where I end up feeling terrible and wondering, "How much do I push?" He does have some fine motor issues PLUS the visual processing issues, which is why it's so difficult for him (both of them) to handwrite. 10yo ds *can* handwrite pretty OK but it takes him very long and is very laborious.

How much do you push? I hate the tears and the "I can't do anything right!" and the total frustration of it for him. But I don't want to NOT push him if I should.

[stephanie]

I know I've been posting frequently since my dd's test results so please bare with me. I've decided to hold off on our Grammar, formally, to work on reading and phonics. I am using WWE 2 with her which has been good for her. We did WWE 1 last year, and she did great. However, in level 2 there is dictation now. She isn't able to do the dictation exercise from the day 2 copywork though. The words are too hard for her to spell, and honestly, it's just too much for her right now. She's overwhelmed. So my question is should I continue with dictation, using only sentences with words she can spell, or should I stop dictation altogether until she's reading and spelling better? We use Sequential Spelling so I was thinking about using some of her words from her list to come up with a dictation. So....what do y'all think?:D Again.:tongue_smilie:

[Mandamom]

Have you tried having him write in salt or on a large piece of paper (with a crayon) where he is forced to use his entire arm rather than just his hand.

Have him begin with simple lines and build to simple shapes and then more complicated shapes and patterns. Look at examples of basic Form Drawing for some ideas.

[EKS]

I know I've been posting frequently since my dd's test results so please bare with me. I've decided to hold off on our Grammar, formally, to work on reading and phonics. I am using WWE 2 with her which has been good for her. We did WWE 1 last year, and she did great. However, in level 2 there is dictation now. She isn't able to do the dictation exercise from the day 2 copywork though. The words are too hard for her to spell, and honestly, it's just too much for her right now. She's overwhelmed. So my question is should I continue with dictation, using only sentences with words she can spell, or should I stop dictation altogether until she's reading and spelling better? We use Sequential Spelling so I was thinking about using some of her words from her list to come up with a dictation. So....what do y'all think?:D Again.:tongue_smilie:

Don't do dictation until she is reading well. I would keep going with the copywork. If you do something like AAS for spelling, it has dictation included that only has words that have been taught.

[EKS]

I would back way off to the point just prior to tears even if this means writing one letter to start with. Then when that is easier, add another letter, and so on. There will be a point where the process accelerates. Sometimes just the *idea* that something is too much (even if it isn't) is what's overwhelming.

I have modified (sometimes quite radically) therapy homework from both VT and OT. When I've explained my rationale, the therapists are always supportive.

[stephanie]

I know I've been posting frequently since my dd's test results so please bare with me. I've decided to hold off on our Grammar, formally, to work on reading and phonics. I am using WWE 2 with her which has been good for her. We did WWE 1 last year, and she did great. However, in level 2 there is dictation now. She isn't able to do the dictation exercise from the day 2 copywork though. The words are too hard for her to spell, and honestly, it's just too much for her right now. She's overwhelmed. So my question is should I continue with dictation, using only sentences with words she can spell, or should I stop dictation altogether until she's reading and spelling better? We use Sequential Spelling so I was thinking about using some of her words from her list to come up with a dictation. So....what do y'all think?:D Again.:tongue_smilie:

:confused::001_huh: I am so sorry. This is twice this week I have posted a new thread in the middle of someone's thread. You would think I've never posted before! Please forgive me...again. I will paste it to a new thread.

[tenoraddict]

The OT wants my sons to work on writing 5 words a day. 9 yo ds wrote 10 words at OT with great difficulty. So today we tried 5 words. After the first word, he was in major tears and just SO distraught I just had him write letter 'a's (lower case). That ended in tears and frustration as well. He's much better with the angular lines of upper case letters, that is why we're working on lower case. Not that upper case is great, it still looks like 3yo wrote it.

This is where I end up feeling terrible and wondering, "How much do I push?" He does have some fine motor issues PLUS the visual processing issues, which is why it's so difficult for him (both of them) to handwrite. 10yo ds *can* handwrite pretty OK but it takes him very long and is very laborious.

How much do you push? I hate the tears and the "I can't do anything right!" and the total frustration of it for him. But I don't want to NOT push him if I should.I can't speak to the OT issues, so I don't know how much help I'll be. I know that the Vision Therapy we did with our son was painful, in a way (it was really hard for him to get his eyes to work together the way they are supposed to), and I know that PT can really hurt. You have to hurt a bit to make progress; no pain, no gain, you know? On the other hand, both SWB and JW said at a conference this summer, "If your child is crying, learning is not taking place." It sounds like you made a good compromise: you didn't let him quit completely, but you made it a bit easier so that he could have some success. I think that a little steady progress each day is better than nothing. You know your child better than anyone, so you're best qualified to make the call of if or how to continue in any given "session."

[MicheleB]

Thanks, everyone! Just what I need... encouragement. And I really like the idea of backing off. The OT mentioned five words a day because that's what he did for her. But backing off would be good for us for now.

The OT wants me to make sure he's NOT using his entire arm when he writes, just his hand/wrist. I guess he's putting so much energy into gripping the pencil so tightly and moving his entire arm, it's tiring him out. Does that sound like something you've heard before?

[tenoraddict]

The OT wants me to make sure he's NOT using his entire arm when he writes, just his hand/wrist. I guess he's putting so much energy into gripping the pencil so tightly and moving his entire arm, it's tiring him out. Does that sound like something you've heard before?At the classical school my sons attended for years, they taught cursive starting in Kindergarten. They emphasized that the children should grip the pencil loosely, and move their entire arm - from the shoulder - NOT just the hand and wrist. The hand/wrist gets tired too quickly if it does all the work, and the larger muscles in the arm can handle it better.

[sheryl]

Try this.......

1. make your own icing and mix colors...pink, blue, red, orange, green (we're in autumn now so those colors would be pretty). Spread on a buy cookie sheet or whatnot and teach him the mechanics of writing letters.

Now, he would use his finger to practice in the icing. Use spatula to smooth out and start again.

You could try with cool whip.

Or.....you could buy some colored sand for something non-edible.

Tip: practice how much to spread on. Perhaps if you put a layer of parchment paper on cookie sheet and apply thin coat, yet enough. When writing the letters, hopefully the "letter" will show up white from the parchment paper surrounded by the pretty color of icing, sand, whatever.

Oh, powdered jello......new idea.

Lastly, fingerpainting.

[Renai]

At the classical school my sons attended for years, they taught cursive starting in Kindergarten. They emphasized that the children should grip the pencil loosely, and move their entire arm - from the shoulder - NOT just the hand and wrist. The hand/wrist gets tired too quickly if it does all the work, and the larger muscles in the arm can handle it better.

I've heard this from other (public) non-US schools as well. They do many (daily?) drawing exercises - circles, loops, etc. - through K and 1st (maybe 2nd) that involves arm use with correct pencil grip.

[MicheleB]

I'll have to re-check this with the OT. I might have misunderstood her directions. :)

[tenoraddict]

I've heard this from other (public) non-US schools as well. They do many (daily?) drawing exercises - circles, loops, etc. - through K and 1st (maybe 2nd) that involves arm use with correct pencil grip.Now that you mention that, I remember that my sister (ADHD, auditory processing issues, and other problems that have had illusive diagnoses for 23 years) had to do something called Rythmic Writing as part of her therapy. Big loops and circles on a chalk board to get her whole arm engaged with her eyes or something like that...