8 Year Old DD Behavior--Help!

[whitestavern]

Going through a really difficult stage right now with my dd, who just turned 8. Multiple issues include: negative attitude about school, which she's always been enthusiastic about. School's relatively easy for her, so it's not that the work is too hard. And we usually wrap up around lunchtime, so it's not too long. Now it is taking forever to do each subject and there's lots of complaining, (school's stupid, I hate it, etc.) Also saying it's not fair her brother is done quicker (he sits and goes through his work quicker, but he also has a bit less as he's 2 years younger.) She's slacking on her responsibilities; not doing what she's told, ie not cleaning her room when asked, etc. Bad attitude with parents and sibling (ds 5). She's also doing everything she can to push my buttons...just little niggly things that I know she knows will annoy me. It's really stressed me out this week...I think part of it may be jealousy, as this has been an ongoing problem for her, although for the most part they get along well. I'm kind of at a loss as to how to handle. But she sees he's doing really well in school and this might be bothering her. Right now, I'm doing my best to keep my cool and not let her get to me (at least on the things I know she's doing for a reaction) and I've been taking away privileges for punishable offenses. I'm not really sure how to handle the school problem...the past few days I've let her take her time but if she had play dates or extracurricular activities I let her know they wouldn't happen unless her work was done first. But when she does this, it kind of holds my day up as well. Any ideas/help would be appreciated!!

[Sue G in PA]

All of my dc have been giving me attitude about school...worse than usual. My ds8 sounds a lot like your dd...good at school, work not too hard, usually done early, etc. Recently he's even been giving me 'tude about everything and anything. Take a break from the "normal" routine for a week. It's Spring Break time anyway. Perhaps you can let her choose one subject each day to work on. That's what I do with ds6 who has gone on an academic strike. He must choose one subject per day, at least, to complete. He loves to read and doesn't equate it with schoolwork so we are ahead there. :) I'd say just take a break. Read together, do some crafts, bake cookies, play educational board games, Mad Libs, make up silly poetry, etc. Sounds like she is just "burned out". I could be wrong but I think that's it with my ds8. Good luck...I know it is frustrating.