What would you do, re: grade level for SN child?

[Niffercoo]

A quick background: Austin went to Kindergarten for public school and was going to need to repeat K because of "behaviors" (he wasn't diagnosed until he was 10). He has a mid/late May birthday and around here, school is out by the time he has a birthday. We pulled him out to homeschool and called that year his 2nd Kindergarten year, planning to put him back into public school for 1st grade. When those behaviors didn't resolve at the end of that homeschool year, we decided we'd better homeschool for the long haul. After little sis was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at the age of 3.5, we realized those behaviors were Aspergers and pursued diagnosis and therapy.

OK, so now I have a 13 year old 7th grader who is begging me to be a freshman next year, according to his age. This has been going on for years... he hates that we made him be a Kindergartener again and he's the oldest for his grade. He is VERY concerned about seeming "normal".

The problem is academics. He is not your brainy, geeky Aspie. He is no where near grade level. But I don't see that changing over the next year. Another year of middle school isn't going to make him any more ready to do high school level work. We just started working on Basic College Mathematics after a frustrating few years in MUS. He is using the Apples spelling program to help him learn how to spell. He can do a written narration but it is very basic, what I would consider 3rd grade level. He has never written an essay. He is working slowly through season 1 of Analytical Grammar after having successfully used JAG over 2 years. He is using Apologia General and it's incredibly painful. He is an eager student, and very compliant... but he struggles so. His ITBS scores last year improved dramatically, but his overall is still in the 30th percentile.

This child isn't going to start off at 4 year university. He won't be able to handle a full schedule at technical college. I am just coming to terms with this, as painful as it is for me. He's going to have to try to get a job and maybe take a class or two, assuming he can get into technical college.

Do I let him be a 9th grader next year, and make him happy? If so, how do I handle coursework for a child who can't do what I consider high school level work? If he can't do the high school level work, then at what point do I let him call himself a 9th grader? His younger sister (Riley, the 10 year old) passed him up academcally a couple of years ago, so I have to take that into consideration as well. He would balk at being in "high school" beyond his sister.

Has anyone been in this situation, and how did you handle it?

[Unicorn]

I have a 13 yo w/ ADD July B-day), that we held back in K. Not becuase he wasn't academically ready, I just didn't want any of my children graduating high school at 17. I had a 17 yo room mate in college. She was very intelligent, but..... stupid. I wanted my dc to have that extra year to grow up. They are all mumbling about it right now (I have 2 11 yo dd's w/ Aug. b-days that were also held back for the same reason). I would not let your ds go to high school. He may not like it right now, but he'll appreciate it when he's older. So will mine. Some day.

[Dobela]

This was kind of discussed on another thread. Have you considered sending him to vocational training now? If there is a vocational school near you, he could go half a day and be around other high school students, some like himself, while getting job skill training. Then the rest of the day you could focus on math, grammar, life skills, and such. This may also give him a shot of confidence, "normalcy", and feeling special that he is seeming to need roight now. Academically he may never be ready for college, or the challenges of college socially but he can be employed and help support himself.

[fivetails]

Okay, I've always known grade 9 as being the last year of junior high {jr high goes from 7-9, high school from 10-12}...different where you are?

Anyway. If being 'called' a 9th grader is that important to him, why not just do it? Keep working with him where he is, but let him be at the same grade level as his similarly aged friends ~ you said he's identified with special needs, and most SN children are kept with their peers... our SN kiddo is a slightly different story - he's turning 11 in grade four - but the grade delay for him was based on a lot of different reasons, including the fact that he can not *physically* keep up with same-age peers in a sport/etc environment. He also couldn't care less what "grade" he is and doesn't really have an understanding of the whole grade/age/etc connection.

Just my few cents. It seems important to him, in terms of how he identifies himself ~ I'd go ahead, call it 9, and just continue teaching him with materials that are appropriate for the 'academic' level that he requires. Make sense?:)

[Niffercoo]

Okay, I've always known grade 9 as being the last year of junior high {jr high goes from 7-9, high school from 10-12}...different where you are?

Anyway. If being 'called' a 9th grader is that important to him, why not just do it? Keep working with him where he is, but let him be at the same grade level as his similarly aged friends ~ you said he's identified with special needs, and most SN children are kept with their peers... our SN kiddo is a slightly different story - he's turning 11 in grade four - but the grade delay for him was based on a lot of different reasons, including the fact that he can not *physically* keep up with same-age peers in a sport/etc environment. He also couldn't care less what "grade" he is and doesn't really have an understanding of the whole grade/age/etc connection.

Just my few cents. It seems important to him, in terms of how he identifies himself ~ I'd go ahead, call it 9, and just continue teaching him with materials that are appropriate for the 'academic' level that he requires. Make sense?:)

Yes, here middle school is grades 6th-8th and high school is 9th-12th.

What I'm concerned about is that he won't be doing high school level work. How would I handle that as far as graduation is concerned?

[Niffercoo]

This was kind of discussed on another thread. Have you considered sending him to vocational training now? If there is a vocational school near you, he could go half a day and be around other high school students, some like himself, while getting job skill training. Then the rest of the day you could focus on math, grammar, life skills, and such. This may also give him a shot of confidence, "normalcy", and feeling special that he is seeming to need roight now. Academically he may never be ready for college, or the challenges of college socially but he can be employed and help support himself.


Our state doesn't allow homeschoolers to attend classes part time like that.

[Niffercoo]

I have a 13 yo w/ ADD July B-day), that we held back in K. Not becuase he wasn't academically ready, I just didn't want any of my children graduating high school at 17. I had a 17 yo room mate in college. She was very intelligent, but..... stupid. I wanted my dc to have that extra year to grow up. They are all mumbling about it right now (I have 2 11 yo dd's w/ Aug. b-days that were also held back for the same reason). I would not let your ds go to high school. He may not like it right now, but he'll appreciate it when he's older. So will mine. Some day.


This is my husband's viewpoint on it, too. If Austin had actually stayed in school he would have been a 7th grader, and probably he would have met some other boys who are 13 year old 7th graders, especially those with summer or early fall birthdays (our cutoff is 9/1).

[fivetails]

Yes, here middle school is grades 6th-8th and high school is 9th-12th.

What I'm concerned about is that he won't be doing high school level work. How would I handle that as far as graduation is concerned?

Here, elementary is K-6, Junior High is 7-9, and High is 10-12 :)

As for "high school level work" - I think maybe I'm a bit confused as to what you're asking... many 'special needs' children graduate high school without it being expected that they would be doing the identical academic work as high schoolers who do not have disabilities.... in the public school system, they would be identified as students with special needs and an IEP would be put in place, detailing the work they *would* do (at a level appropriate for them), the adaptations or modifications, etc etc....some students would remain in a 'mainstream' classroom - with or without the assistance of an aide - and some students would be placed in a self-contained class for kids with disabilities... it's different everywhere. In our old town, none of the schools had self-contained classrooms, all SN kids were 'mainstreamed', though many still had "pull out time" to work on specific skills. In our current town, many schools DO have 'self contained classrooms', where *all* of the students have various disabilities.

Anyway - when our ds10 finishes 'grade twelve', he will graduate. Will he have done all the *same* things that his sister did? Of course not. He's not able to do that and having the same expectations of him as we do of her would be ridiculous - and setting him up to fail. He will work on the specific academic & life skills goals that we set *for him*. Our very own 'homeschool IEP', if you want to call it that.

Now, granted, our son's disabilities are quite severe. He's not going off to college, trade school, or anything of the sort. He will never live independently - people tend to go "well you never know" when I say that, but yes, we do know. It's a 100% certainty that he will need daily assistance for the rest of his life. I'm okay with that - I wish other people could be, though I do understand the "well you never know" is meant with the best of intentions. ;)

Maybe I'm not reading your story right.. but it seems to me that if he's 13 years old and working (academically) on a 3rd grade level, then it may not be realistic to expect that he do "high school level work" of the same caliber that other high school students do, whether you call him a 9th grader this year or next. Know what I mean?

Much like the public school high schoolers with an IEP, he can work through homeschool at a level appropriate for him, taking his disabilities into consideration. He still graduates, just like those students - just like our son will. He graduates at the end of grade twelve, having achieved the goals that *you* set for him, goals that are reasonable & attainable for the abilities that he has... :)

{All that said - here, a 13 year old student would likely be in grade 7 or perhaps 8 .. very few would be in grade 9.}

[8FillTheHeart]

Our situation is different than yours b/c up until the last couple of yrs our ds was academically ahead. The last couple of yrs his behavior has completely impacted any academic achievements.

Our ds's behavior over the last 2 yrs has finally made us accept that he will be completely unable to attend a 4 yr university. We have finally convinced him (that was more difficult than convincing ourselves!!!) that vocational work is a more appropriate goal. We are using 12th grade as an opportunity to explore 4 different trade options.

I wish we had had more time to really explore more options and have ds start thinking about realistic opportunities over a long period of time.

All that is to say I would not label him by grade level by traditional terms b/c his path is to independence is probably not going to mirror anything traditional. As to whether or not he should be a 9th or 8th grader.......you need to weigh all the pros and cons. It might be that being able to attend a vocational CC earlier is more beneficial than another yr at home. Only you can assess your ds's true situation. As you transition to high school, I would really recommend understanding long term preparation for him in terms of independent living/household skills/budgeting etc type goals vs. thinking in terms of a traditional high school transcript. Most vocational courses are better taught in that setting vs. at home with mom. CLE has some introductory level course work which are doable at home, but they are simple one yr courses.

Another thing you might consider is finding apprenticeship opportunities for him.

Good luck.....this has been really hard for us.

[EKS]

There are *lots* of 13yo 7th graders in our district. Lots of boys in particular with late spring/summer birthdays are running a year behind. The district encourages it. He would fit right in in that regard.

I have not been in this situation, so take this with many grains of salt, but--

Maybe you could come up with what your vision of "done" for him would be. What knowledge and skills do you want him to have before he goes out in the world? That way he can call himself whatever grade he wants, but you're just working toward being "done". This will likely require an adjustment of your expectations but it could be very liberating. If he's cranky about his grade placement now, when he's 18, he will probably be even more cranky and at that point he will be in a position to do something about it.

Or, like some of the other posters said, you could investigate the options for vo-tech training in your area. And then if you decide this is the way to go, do whatever is required to move in that direction.

[Dobela]

Most vo-tech training for high schools here is actually done thru the community college and a special vocational training school. I would call them to see how it would work since he is a homeschooler. If he doesn't attend now, then you will know how to sign him up after age 18.

When I was teaching special ed, the students on an IEP received a diploma as long as they were meeting the goals on their IEP and the subjects matched the subjects needed for high school credits. For example, the IEP students would have 4 math credits but theirs would be general math, business math, technical math, and vocational applications rather than algebra, geometry, trig and calculus. And each year of those maths were essentially the same - general math - but in new real life applications. 4 English credits could be remedial English, and so on. However, every state is different so I would ask around to see how that is done where you live.

Some homeschooling parents with children who have disabilities that they know are not going to college and not going into the military will get them to the GED and then once they pass that help them enter into a technical or vocational school. A GED can have negatives if you are planning on college or the military, but not for technical/vocational training schools (that I have heard about).

[Pamela H in Texas]

One thing I was looking at on our high school's site was that they expect kids like ours to have the same classes by name, but they have basic levels of those classes. So English I doesn't necessarily necessitate a 9th grade level. Some kids may be in a 9th grade class while others are in a 6th grade level and others do honors/pre-AP which may be much higher than 9th grade. They have these same programs for sciences, maths, etc. Anyway, so we can do similarly at home. Where my dd was on a high school level in elementary school, my son just may not make it to a solid high school level (and if he does, it might be a bit later).

[gingersmom]

This is my husband's viewpoint on it, too. If Austin had actually stayed in school he would have been a 7th grader, and probably he would have met some other boys who are 13 year old 7th graders, especially those with summer or early fall birthdays (our cutoff is 9/1).

Move to New Jersey. The majority of the 7th graders are 13.