Please share some jokes I can tell to ds 5 and 8

[ELaurie]

:lurk5:

[Rich with Kids]

Where does a general put his armies?



In his sleevies!!!:lol:

[Rich with Kids]

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?


A stick!!!!:tongue_smilie:

[Rich with Kids]

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Atch.

Atch who?

God bless you!:)

[Laura K (NC)]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c...
Moo!

(It's funnier when you hear it. :) )

[Mrs. H.]

How do you get a frog off the windshield? Turn on the defrogger. :D

How do frogs take notes? On lily pads. :lol:

What happens to an illegally parked frog? It gets toad away.:smilielol5:


This is an illness, by the way, if you have boys. My 7yr. old son comes up with some doozies. Check out cute joke books at your local library in the kids' section.

[JudoMom]

when I asked for jokes for ds5 awhile back:


What kind of tree can you hold in your hand?
A palm tree


Why didn’t the teddy bear finish his dinner?
He was stuffed.


What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
RRRRRRRR

[momtolgd]

One from my ds7...

Why couldn't the pirate see the movie?
Because it was rated RRRRR. :lol:

[ELaurie]

:lol:

[Whisperlily]

My DS8's current favorite joke is...

Q: Why don't turkeys get invited to parties?

A: Because they use "fowl" language. :D

[BeachGirl]

What do you call a cow after an earthquake?

A milkshake!:D

[j.griff]

Harry Potter joke:
Knock Knock
Who's there
You Know
You Know Who?
YES! Avada Kedavra (killing curse)

Or
You know who?
You know who!? Where!?!?! :eek:

But, IDK if you're ds's have seen/heard HP. :o

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c...
Moo!

(It's funnier when you hear it. :) )

I agree, this is one of my favorites to pull on unsuspecting children :thumbup:

Barb

[AndyJoy]

I don't know if they'll get this one, but...

What did Snow White say when she dropped off her film to be developed at Wal-Mart?

Someday my prints will come.



Also, this is a pointless joke that usually gets laughs--

What did Farmer Brown say when he lost his cow?

I lost my cow!

[Chris in VA]

What does an Ancient Egyptian kid call his parents?
Mummy and Deady--this is from dd7!

What did the rhinoceros say to the elephant?
(Roll eyes, hands on hips) Rhinoceroses can't talk?

Knock knock
Who's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the tub, I'm dwowning, I'm dwowning!

That's all, folks!

[Rhesa]

The current favorite around here:

Why is 7 such a scary number?

Because...7 8 9!!

Followed by shrieks of laughter from my 5 and 7 year old even though this is the 1,000th time.:D

[iquilt]

This is my dh's favorite joke:

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef :)

[j.griff]

Eewwwww, LOL :)

[Mrs Mungo]

A joke my eldest made up:
What is an ancient Briton's favorite instrument?
A SAXON-phone!

How much do you charge a pirate to get his ear's pierced?
A buccaneer! (buck an ear? get it?)

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!

[Mom2legomaniacs]

My 9 yr ds made these up:

What do you call a smelly teacher?


A tooter :lol:


What did the daddy bubble say about his son?


Sniff, they blow up so fast!

[Leah]

thanks everyone! We had fun with these here. :)

[ELaurie]

Thanks everyone!

[Hope]

Why did the scientist have a knocker put on his front door?

He wanted to win the NO-BELL (Nobel) Prize!!!

[Elaine]

These are hilarious!:lol:

My boys love these-

What do you call your sister with one leg?
-Eileen

What do you call her twin?
-Peg

What do you call your brother with no arms or legs floating in the pool?
-Bob

What do you call your brother with no arms or legs sitting on the front porch?
-Matt

What's green and red and goes 50 miles per hour?
-A frog in a blender

[Rachel]

My son made this one up when he was about 8 years old.

What kind of car has a bellybutton?

An Audi (an outie......get it?):lol:

[NYSue]

What do pigs use on their boo-boos?

Oinkment :D

[Karen sn]

I am reading these to dd.
When asked what do you call a cow after a earthquake she said.....a moove.

[Karen sn]

I know you have all heard this one:

What do you call a fly with no legs?

A walk

[Cornerstone Classical]

These are hilarious!:lol:

My boys love these-

What do you call your sister with one leg?
-Eileen

What do you call her twin?
-Peg

What do you call your brother with no arms or legs floating in the pool?
-Bob

What do you call your brother with no arms or legs sitting on the front porch?
-Matt

What's green and red and goes 50 miles per hour?
-A frog in a blender

What do you call your brother with no arms and leg in a tree?

Russell

What do you call you brother with no arms and legs hanging on the wall?

Art

What do you call your brother with no arms and legs tied behind a speed boat?

Skip

[Cornerstone Classical]

This is my dh's favorite joke:

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef :)

What do you call a cow with one leg shorter than the rest?

Lean Beef

[Cornerstone Classical]

What do you call a fish with 2 legs?

2-knee-fish:lol:

[Elaine]

What do you call your brother with no arms and leg in a tree?

Russell

What do you call you brother with no arms and legs hanging on the wall?

Art

What do you call your brother with no arms and legs tied behind a speed boat?

Skip

It's so good to know that I am not alone in the dismembered human body joke fun!:D

[Cornerstone Classical]

It's so good to know that I am not alone in the dismembered human body joke fun!:D

That is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

I know all these jokes and was thinking about posting them but I had origianally heard them as "paraplegic" jokes. I thought they would be offensive. So when I saw how you worded them... I was delighted! Now I know how to tell them in a better way!!!!


Thanks:lol::lol::lol:

[Cindyg]

A pink carnation!

[Elaine]

That is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

I know all these jokes and was thinking about posting them but I had origianally heard them as "paraplegic" jokes. I thought they would be offensive. So when I saw how you worded them... I was delighted! Now I know how to tell them in a better way!!!!


Thanks:lol::lol::lol:

That thought did cross my mind, but Dang!, those jokes make me laugh.:rofl:

[Cornerstone Classical]

That thought did cross my mind, but Dang!, those jokes make me laugh.:rofl:


Me TOO! Every time I tell the one about ....what do you call.....tied behind a speed boat? Skip

I get a mental picture of that lame '80's movie "Week End at Bernies" when the two guys had dead Berney in the boat and they took off and he came out of the boat... you could see his body skipping on the water. That was the only time I have laughed so much in a movie theater that I was actually on the floor crying:smilielol5::smilielol5:

My husband is so proud of my cache of "no arm/legs" jokes he brags to his buddies and has me tell 'em:001_smile: