If You Were Considering PS or CS and Suspected Dyslexia

[elizam]

what would you do, right now?

One is my 9yods. We tried putting him in PS for the first two days of second grade (last school year). It was awful. Their only "remedy" for him was to put him back a grade, with possible enrichment in math (he is very good at math), but even then they emphasized that math is all about word problems, so he probably wouldn't do well in math there, either.

I have plugged along hsing him and he has made progress, but still wouldn't be considered a strong reader, writer, or speller. We use Sequential Spelling, which has helped a lot.

Then there is older dd. She is considering a magnet school for high school. Just in the past year or so have I realized she is very likely dyslexic. She is extremely right brained, creative, sensitive, great personality....but reading is a huge chore for her with all these dyslexic symptoms. Spelling and writing are atrocious. Sned her off to PS high school, even a "good" smaller one? I just don't know. THe one thing I can say is she'd probably work hard and accept any help offered.

I have no idea how anyone in our area gets tested or dxed with dyslexia. When ds went to PS for those 2 days, the principal and reading specialist talked down to me and basically told me there is no such thing as dyslexia. They also reasoned that it would be great for most kids to be held back a year (sports and maturation came up), and told me that the only way he could get reading help would be in first grade, because that's where Title One helped (the school's website says there is a reading specialist for every grade, so I'm not sure what that was all about).

I also just read this front page article about how that particular PS is going to be one of many getting even less funding, which means less help in reading, etc.

So, even if the younger dc went to PS, I wouldn't choose that one--I have a charter school in mind.

What complicates the whole matter is that dh is not very supportive, and often blames every problem our dc have on me and/or hsing. He has a high school diploma; did quite poorly in school, hates to read (very likely dysleic himself and also ADHD), but constantly berates me for doing a bad job despite being college educated, willing to read and study about education and anything else that needs to be learned, and so on. I only add this information to explain why I am at the point of feeling desperate. I don't want to hs my dc anymore if it means I am always going to take the heat (not to mention the stress of doing everything, and I also have an older teen who has ADHD and does poorly in PS high school). HOwever....being the thinking person that I am (it's a curse sometimes!), I know too much about how the schools work (or don't work), and I don't really want to deal with them, either. IF my dc could all do well without the struggles, the blaming, etc...that would be one thing...but we just aren't perfect in this family. Nearly everyone I know is!

I feel sick about the whole decision making process. I avoided a lot of problems when my older ds was younger by not having him in PS. But now I have a teen who feels like he missed out on life, and others say it was probably the homeschooling that made him have academic problems and few friends, even though the more I read about ADHD, it really seems to be that rather than "mom scr*wed up."

I could use wisdom and prayers today!

[Rod Everson]

Hi,

Well, you'll find a lot of support in here, that's for sure, and suggestions on what to do as well.

For my part, what I would ask you to do is to spend some time looking at the information on my website because you are the type of person I wrote it for. Don't stop reading until you understand the following:

1) that dyslexia exists, runs in families and it's definitely running in yours.

2) that all of your kids (and most likely your husband) should be under the care of a developmental optometrist.

3) that vision therapy might be the answer to a lot of your children's problems

4) that none of this has been your fault; you've made good choices with the limited information you had available to you.

Start with the link below my name, but be sure and read the information under the section titled The Vision Piece (http://ontrackreading.com/the-vision-piece). If you get vision therapy for your daughter and she still has trouble with spelling and reading, and she might, then check out The Phonics Piece (http://ontrackreading.com/the-phonics-piece) more thoroughly, or get other recommendations on phonics programs. Fix the vision first though, if the developmental optometrist says there's a problem.

And good luck.

Rod Everson
OnTrack Reading - My Take on Dyslexia (http://ontrackreading.com/the-dyslexia-puzzle/my-take-on-dyslexia)

[Cadam]

You need to get these kids formally tested. Others here can tell you about programs and therapies to remediate and cope with dyslexia but they need good solid testing.

Even if it tells you what you already know it vindicates you. It is freeing to have outside authority find that the ps would have done no better, and probably much worse with your kids. The kids need to know that their problems have a name and it's not "I'm stupid". Dh needs to know there is a real actual problem and that you are not it.

My dh has the same special needs as my kids and slowly over the years he has picked up on the similarities. We still fight over the occasional thing because I want the kids to have therapy for something that is "normal" for him. Overall it is getting better and once your dh sees that the kids are reading better with special programs he will see there is hope for him and not doing well in school was not because he wasn't smart. He may never say that out loud but you would be amazed at the childhood scars most of us grown ups are running around with.

[Claire]

I would start by getting the older teen who is right-brained and considering public high school a developmental vision eval. Visual efficiency problems run in families, so it's quite possible that your dh, your dd and your ds all share this problem. Visual efficiency deficits are *not* evaluated in regular eye exams, whether done by an optometrist or an opthalmologist. I would seek out a board-certified developmental optometrist who is good in his field. There is a lot of information on this board about developmental optometrists. Try running a search to pull up old threads. Being informed *before* you make an appointment is a very good idea! At the very least, a developmental vision eval would rule out visual efficiency problems.

My dd is very similar to yours. She was diagnosed at age 8 with both severe phonemic awareness delays and severe visual efficiency deficits (not diagnosed by her regular opthalmologist). We were able to improve her lot in life greatly with a combination of vision therapy, a highly structured reading program, and cognitive skills training. (We did PACE (http://www.processingskills.com).) She was diagnosed with borderline dysgraphia at age 14. She is not a junior in high school and has been able to hold her own (B-average) with some accommodations from her teachers -- mainly regarding spelling and writing mechanics, which are still problematic for her because of her dysgraphia. Both her reading and writing skills have improved since freshman year -- because the school requires so much of both. What really helped with the transition was having remediated her to average reading and low-average writing skills when she entered, plus she was able to shine and gain social status with her skills in athletics and art.

I personally would also get a developmental vision eval for your 9yo ds. That eval was a turning point for my dd when she was 8yo and tested as reading on a pre-kindergarten level. If visual efficiency deficits are not part of your son's problem, then I can make recommendations about other evals you may want to get and about MSSL reading programs (highly structured multi-sensory programs that tend to work for dyslexics).