Wail (sort of a spinoff of the gifted or not gifted and challenged or not threads...)

[Nan in Mass]

I can't figure out if mine are gifted or not. They are brightish. They have all the extraneous problems associated with giftedness, like being extremely sensitive, which is why I am on this board. They aren't particularly academically gifted as far as I can tell. And I don't care if they are gifted or not. It would have been disappointing if they had been unintelligent because there would be so much we couldn't share with them, but they aren't that. Besides, they are old enough that it doesn't matter now - we just love them for who they are. Two are in college. So here it the wail... My youngest is 15 and now with his brothers gone, I finally have time to focus on him. He definately is better at academics than the others, and he complains that he never learns anything new. On the other hand, he isn't getting him math all correct or able to write a paper incorporating more than one source successfully or able to answer the questions in his history book requiring that he take his best guess or getting all the science questions right, so... sooo... what? Is he just unchallenged and bored and not trying very hard as a result? I don't really think so. Are we not doing the right level of things? Probably. Sigh. It is very, very hard for me to judge what the right level is. I inevitably pick too hard or too easy. And I am trying to hit a moving target. Would he do better with inspired teaching? Probably. I'm doing the best I can but I'm not very inspiring. Have I not taught him the proper basics, given him the tools he needs to do the work that challenges him? This is a distinct probability, which scares me. What do I do now? Sometimes I think the best thing to do would be to leave him alone to work on the sorts of things that he thinks about all the time. Currently, he is thinking about how to get crows to come to him, how to rig his kayak with a sail, how to convert his laptop from mouse to touchscreen, how to make a laser harp, what spells he needs for his larp character, and a George Winston piece of piano music. On the other hand, without piano lessons, he wouldn't be able to teach himself that George Winston piece; without reading King Solomon's Ring, he wouldn't be wondering about crows, ... He has almost no time because of gymnastics and his great thirst for playing strategy games (time consuming). Sometimes I think continuing to bang away at the academic skills is the right thing to do. Sometimes I think dumping him as fast as possible into the community college engineering transfer program is the right thing. Sometimes I think that would be the wrong thing because he wouldn't have time for other pursuits like peacewalking and academics like French and Latin and history and literature, things that once he hits engineering school he won't get much of, probably...

O you gifted mothers here - do you have any suggestions?
-Nan

[JeanM]

I can't figure out if mine are gifted or not. They are brightish. They have all the extraneous problems associated with giftedness, like being extremely sensitive, which is why I am on this board. They aren't particularly academically gifted as far as I can tell. And I don't care if they are gifted or not. It would have been disappointing if they had been unintelligent because there would be so much we couldn't share with them, but they aren't that. Besides, they are old enough that it doesn't matter now - we just love them for who they are. Two are in college. So here it the wail... My youngest is 15 and now with his brothers gone, I finally have time to focus on him. He definately is better at academics than the others, and he complains that he never learns anything new. On the other hand, he isn't getting him math all correct or able to write a paper incorporating more than one source successfully or able to answer the questions in his history book requiring that he take his best guess or getting all the science questions right, so... sooo... what? Is he just unchallenged and bored and not trying very hard as a result? I don't really think so. Are we not doing the right level of things? Probably. Sigh. It is very, very hard for me to judge what the right level is. I inevitably pick too hard or too easy. And I am trying to hit a moving target. Would he do better with inspired teaching? Probably. I'm doing the best I can but I'm not very inspiring. Have I not taught him the proper basics, given him the tools he needs to do the work that challenges him? This is a distinct probability, which scares me. What do I do now? Sometimes I think the best thing to do would be to leave him alone to work on the sorts of things that he thinks about all the time. Currently, he is thinking about how to get crows to come to him, how to rig his kayak with a sail, how to convert his laptop from mouse to touchscreen, how to make a laser harp, what spells he needs for his larp character, and a George Winston piece of piano music. On the other hand, without piano lessons, he wouldn't be able to teach himself that George Winston piece; without reading King Solomon's Ring, he wouldn't be wondering about crows, ... He has almost no time because of gymnastics and his great thirst for playing strategy games (time consuming). Sometimes I think continuing to bang away at the academic skills is the right thing to do. Sometimes I think dumping him as fast as possible into the community college engineering transfer program is the right thing. Sometimes I think that would be the wrong thing because he wouldn't have time for other pursuits like peacewalking and academics like French and Latin and history and literature, things that once he hits engineering school he won't get much of, probably...

O you gifted mothers here - do you have any suggestions?
-Nan

What does he want to do? Is he interested in the community college engineering program?

If it were me, I think I'd keep plugging away at the academics. Even if you aren't hitting him at exactly the right level, he is learning lots of stuff. And having the time to pursue non-major academics and leisure pursuits is a wonderful gift.

My dc are younger, so you can take my advice with a grain of salt.

[JennW in SoCal]

Hi Nan,

I'm right there with you. My oldest ds, who was so time consuming to home educate, is finally launched into the real world, leaving me to at last give my full focus on my 14yo. I wonder too about what I missed doing with him over the years -- I seem to either be repeating things or assume he knows something because I remember doing it with the older kid.

My plan of action for the year is to have an academic year at home. He is working on basics, is reading from a good list of literary and fun books, having to study science terms and memorize them as well as Spanish vocabulary. It is a combination of shoring up and pushing. He is also going to get to do things he has always wanted to do but were difficult due to the needs of his older brother. Specifically travel. If he wants to go to community college next year, he can, but this year is OUR year. I'm trying to savor it.

Your kids have always sounded like such interesting young men! This is one sounds especially creative. Definitely keep "banging away" at basic academic skills so he has the tools to set those creative ideas into action. Think of it more as slow and steady -- bit by bit those skills will improve over the year. No doubt you are still reading and discussing a la WEM -- what a treat for him to get to share books with you.

The more I write, the more I think that you of all people really do have your homeschool act together. No need to wail -- it is just an adjustment to have only one at home. And you know all too well that he will be out of the house too soon! Join me in enjoying this unique opportunity in getting to enjoy our respective teen age sons a little better!

[asta]

Oh, Nan...

Do you have any adult friends with Asperger's?

Whenever I reach this point with my son, I write up a point by point and ask my boss, who is on the spectrum, how he would have liked a given subject presented to him, given the situation.

I'm aspie, but not as much as kid, and I'm not a guy. Some things are just gender and situation specific.

I'm not saying your kid is on the spectrum, just that the subject matter and behaviors would be familiar to someone with Asperger's, and perhaps you would find some good advice there.

a

[HeidiD]

I can't figure out if mine are gifted or not. They are brightish. They have all the extraneous problems associated with giftedness, like being extremely sensitive, which is why I am on this board. They aren't particularly academically gifted as far as I can tell. And I don't care if they are gifted or not. It would have been disappointing if they had been unintelligent because there would be so much we couldn't share with them, but they aren't that. Besides, they are old enough that it doesn't matter now - we just love them for who they are. Two are in college. So here it the wail... My youngest is 15 and now with his brothers gone, I finally have time to focus on him. He definately is better at academics than the others, and he complains that he never learns anything new. On the other hand, he isn't getting him math all correct or able to write a paper incorporating more than one source successfully or able to answer the questions in his history book requiring that he take his best guess or getting all the science questions right, so... sooo... what? Is he just unchallenged and bored and not trying very hard as a result? I don't really think so. Are we not doing the right level of things? Probably. Sigh. It is very, very hard for me to judge what the right level is. I inevitably pick too hard or too easy. And I am trying to hit a moving target. Would he do better with inspired teaching? Probably. I'm doing the best I can but I'm not very inspiring. Have I not taught him the proper basics, given him the tools he needs to do the work that challenges him? This is a distinct probability, which scares me. What do I do now? Sometimes I think the best thing to do would be to leave him alone to work on the sorts of things that he thinks about all the time. Currently, he is thinking about how to get crows to come to him, how to rig his kayak with a sail, how to convert his laptop from mouse to touchscreen, how to make a laser harp, what spells he needs for his larp character, and a George Winston piece of piano music. On the other hand, without piano lessons, he wouldn't be able to teach himself that George Winston piece; without reading King Solomon's Ring, he wouldn't be wondering about crows, ... He has almost no time because of gymnastics and his great thirst for playing strategy games (time consuming). Sometimes I think continuing to bang away at the academic skills is the right thing to do. Sometimes I think dumping him as fast as possible into the community college engineering transfer program is the right thing. Sometimes I think that would be the wrong thing because he wouldn't have time for other pursuits like peacewalking and academics like French and Latin and history and literature, things that once he hits engineering school he won't get much of, probably...

O you gifted mothers here - do you have any suggestions?
-Nan


Wow, he sounds quite impressively well-rounded. No need to second-guess yourself - you've done a great job. I read somewhere, I think in a book by Mary Pride (homeschooling guru and very bright lady) that the totality of material taught over the typical 12 years of schooling could actually be crammed into 3 years, and I tend to agree with that. So really - what's to worry about? One of the main advantages of homeschooling is that kids have the luxury of more discretionary time than if they were attending a regular school, allowing them the opportunity to discover their particular interests and develop their skills in those areas. It sounds like your son is well on his way to accomplishing this. Going out on a limb here, but I actually think this is more important in the long run than academics. Anyhow, at 15, there's still plenty of time to add a little polish to the math skills or writing or whatever you want to work on - a little focused time can pay off big dividends at this age. And you're right - now may be the last time to focus on the liberal arts areas if he's planning to go into engineering. I'm so grateful for the classical education I had in high school because once I started college, the required courses pushed out the liberal arts courses that are essential to a "well-trained mind". :) So maybe you can strike a balance - continue with the academic areas that you feel are the most important for him at this point and will prepare him for his future plans, and continue to encourage him in his interests as well. Good luck - it sounds like you've been doing very well hitting the "moving target" (I love the way you put that - that's how I feel sometimes.:))

[Nan in Mass]

I'm not even sure what it is. The only bits and snippets of information I've come across make it sound like typical male engineer, but I suspect I've missed major aspects of it and am only hearing about the ones that are easy to talk about. My son is probably headed for engineering. I can't imagine that he would be happy doing anything but making things, in the long run, but you never know. He has lots of interests. When he was very small, he said he wanted to illustrate children's books. I think he could do just about anything he wanted, except that I don't think he would be good at anything that requires he be sympathetic and patient with people he doesn't like. That just might be teenagerness, though. Anyway... all I'm really worried about at the moment is how to teach him and making sure that he is prepared for engineering school in case he wants to go. And how isn't really that much of a problem because he tries to do as I ask (unless it strikes him as especially stupid or time-wasting) and is fairly good at telling me if he isn't understanding. You couldn't ask for more at 15. That is part of my problem - he's trusting me to teach him what he needs to know and I'm worried about picking the right balance between taking advantage of homeschooling and not insisting he learn what he needs to know. And I'm vaguely worried that I'm not helping him achieve his potential. Neither one of us is really aware of all that is out there. Do I encourage robotics and programming or peacewalking and music? Is there some magic way to give this child both? That isn't as stupid a question as it sounds because Joan in Geneva just pointed out how to combine French and history, leaving room for something else. If I ask my son which, his answer varies with his mood (naturally). Sometimes he says, "Why do I have to do this (liberal arts stuff)?" and other times he says, "What is the hurry? Can't I do this stuff now and then do the engineering stuff later when I get to college?" and sometimes, "Help me learn this!" and sometimes, "Leave me alone to work on my own stuff." Somehow, I think he'd be unhappy if he didn't get into an interesting engineering school, though, and not doing robotics now might land him in one of the duller ones. That isn't the only thing I worry about, though. I'm far more worried about teaching him well right now.

Ok - sorry - I'm wailing again. Asta, I wish I knew some people with aspergers. I think your suggestion is a good one. I will investigate. And maybe I should talk to the male engineers in the family, for a start, about what they would have liked when they were young. My dad will listen, and is very involved with my son (my son goes to help him every week).

-Nan

[Nan in Mass]

I made some decisions last year, like not starting CC classes this year, like having an easy and loose science year (MODG natural history instead of biology) so he can concentrate on languages for a bit, like not hurrying him into engineering via the transfer program (we're not in any hurry for them to grow up - I just know it would give him lots of what he likes to study and make him feel like he was learning and possilby get him better teachers), like getting in another peacewalk if he wants before he's tied down with CC, like doing gym again, like letting him teach himself piano rather than have lessons and quitting scouts and doing realms instead, like getting him a boat, like not farming out the writing yet... All that sounds like your at-home year. I just find myself second guessing - wondering whether we're letting him down by not doing a more serious science program this year, or doing a research-based history or science program, or encouraging him to work more independently, or farming out Latin because we seem to be stalled, or working on writing long research papers and lab reports (which might require a better knowledge of statistics), or the many other details that worry me. I made the decisions when I was busy with the older one. Now I have more time to worry. I will try to remember to do as you suggested and focus on enjoying my son while he is still home full-time. And try to remember that I do have a strategy and that it worked really well with the older one. Thank you.
-Nan

[Nan in Mass]

Thank you. This is comforting. I guess he does sound well-rounded GRIN. And I guess I'm grateful he's interested in a variety of things and not just his latest invention. Or not just sitting there waiting for his life to begin, like so many teenagers I see.

[kpupg]

You usually intimidate me, Nan -- I mean that in the most complimentary way! -- but I can say with authority that engineers really need to be able to write well -- both business type writing and research writing. And college science will require lab reports, no foolin' around -- he should be doing those now and working up to more detailed reports. From what you have listed, that is what I would focus on, as far as writing instruction goes.

Karen

[Nan in Mass]

I am a shy, fluff-headed, high strung, seive-brained idiot GRIN. I can't even manage to keep house. Ok, so how do I teach him to write lab reports? I obvously wrote them in college, but I don't remember writing them... I don't want to stop him from being curious and trying things and experimenting on his own by making him record what he is doing (except that I make him draw his ideas, which takes him about five seconds and makes discussing them with him much easier for me - he gives me good verbal descriptions of what is in his head, but I do better with a picture). How do I find labs that we can do at home that he doesn't think are so stupid that he refuses to cooperate that are the right level for him to write up. It seems like to do proper labs, one has to have some understanding of statistics, which neither of us does? Do you have any suggestions? I think you are right, and this is probably what has been bothering me most at the moment. That and getting the peace-walking/liberal arts - robotics/computers/science balance right. Not that I'm not worried about plenty of other things, too...
-Nan

[HeidiD]

How do I find labs that we can do at home that he doesn't think are so stupid that he refuses to cooperate that are the right level for him to write up.


Have you looked at Castle Heights Press?


http://www.castleheightspress.com/product.sc?productId=40&categoryId=7


Biology, chemistry and physics labs.