How much unstructured time

[nova147]

DS will be 5 in October and we started K a few weeks ago. While I am still adjusting, he is loving it. I try to keep it fun with lots of games and activities. But here's the problem -- he wants to do school ALL DAY. Well, all day unless I'll let him play on the computer or watch TV instead. Basically, he wants me to entertain him constantly. On one hand, I don't want to tell him we can't do more school -- it seems wrong, like telling a kid to stop eating veggies. But I also don't want to overload him -- we've been doing 1 1/2 - 2 hours of school a day, which I think is plenty for his age.

So, do I give him more school work? Or do I insist he play instead? If he's enjoying it, how much school is too much? How much time should a child occupy himself?

[Radish4ever]

I make the kiddos play! Sometimes my DD gets VERY into "a'tivities" and doesn't want to stop.... in those cases, she's not always really wanting to do our daily "school work", but she's just looking for something to occupy her time. She LOVES to do cutting and pasting activities, so I've finally come around and she's used up the whole "Let's Cut!" book I bought at Sam's last year and I find myself scrounging our materials for cut and paste activities. ;)
I love this site: http://www.dltk-kids.com/ because they have lots of easy crafty things to keep DD busy that doesn't include TV or the internet....
I do allow DD to play on PBS, Noggin, Sprout, Starfall, Scholastic, etc when she wants computer time (okay, begs for it!). I figure she's having fun, it's sort of educational, and it keeps her content without overloading her with too much information since it is self-paced for her.

On occasion, I'll throw in an extra reading lesson or ETC page for DD to do if she's begging for school..... but we're on week 10 of K work and it seems like she's slowed down a lot as far as being insistent on doing school alllll day long. ;) I'm glad, because it was wearing me out! LOL

[HeidiD]

DS will be 5 in October and we started K a few weeks ago. While I am still adjusting, he is loving it. I try to keep it fun with lots of games and activities. But here's the problem -- he wants to do school ALL DAY. Well, all day unless I'll let him play on the computer or watch TV instead. Basically, he wants me to entertain him constantly. On one hand, I don't want to tell him we can't do more school -- it seems wrong, like telling a kid to stop eating veggies. But I also don't want to overload him -- we've been doing 1 1/2 - 2 hours of school a day, which I think is plenty for his age.

So, do I give him more school work? Or do I insist he play instead? If he's enjoying it, how much school is too much? How much time should a child occupy himself?

My almost 7 yo spends half an hour a day on structured school work, and my 4 yo just plays. Now that my oldest is in college, I've realized that I'm glad he didn't grind away for hours and hours when he was little (at the time I felt guilty being so relaxed compared to other homeschooling families that I knew :tongue_smilie:). You may find that once the novelty wears off, he'll be less interested in school work than he is at the moment. If not, the easiest thing to do (especially with a new baby coming) is to get lots of interesting books for him to read, and encourage him to read independently. Good luck!

[Truscifi]

I think if he is asking for more, you should give him more. Keep it fun and light, and make sure he knows he doesn't have to keep going. I do think there should be some defined independent play time - my ds5 has time after lunch when he has to stay in his room and play or read on his own, but after that if he still wants to do school, we do it. Usually he will only want to do one or two more things before he loses interest on his own and goes to play.

[Cera]

My girl is like this. This afternoon when I headed downstairs after putting my younger down for a nap I found her sitting at the table working on her math and phonics again.

My current approach is to limit phonics/math lessons to 30 minutes each per day we do school (3 days a week). After that she is welcome to read, make her own math and phonics worksheets (which she does surprisingly often), play math and phonics games, work on science experiments, explore history through activities, create art projects, "teach" her sister school, etc.

I feel like with some topics you can only accelerate learning so much. My daughter is quite capable of powering through her math book at a chapter a day or through 20 to 30 pages of phonics in one sitting but I feel like she is doing the work sometimes rather than really absorbing the information. If she slows down and really learns the basics then fills in her time with other activities to expand on the concepts she is learning, plus more in depth exploration of other topics (history, art, science), we both win.

[Laura Corin]

I think a couple of hours of school is plenty, however I used to spend a lot of time on top of that reading aloud to my children. Several hours of read alouds a day was not uncommon, especially with the first. I also made sure that they got a lot of outdoor time - at least an hour of exercise a day.

I found that things got a lot easier when reading took off: both my boys absorb themselves in books for hours. Hobbes will also play alone for long stretches and do art projects, but for Calvin reading was key. I do think that it's important for children to learn to occupy themselves without adult intervention or a screen.

Best wishes

Laura

[psychgal]

I just got on here to ask this same question. If I left it up to my dd5, we would be doing "school" 6-7 hours a day. Granted, our school right now is largely comprised of educational games, but she even enjoys the Math workbooks (she won't beg for those though). She wants to do EVERY subject EVERY day.

She does NOT enjoy art projects for more than 5 minutes and ends up asking for more math or science. I'm wondering if there is any reason (other than I have to get my stuff done), that I shouldn't keep playing all the educational games with her. We use a lot of imagination while we're playing them so it's not just learning. But I won't tell any of my friends who ask what we are doing the truth, because I think they'll think I'm a slave driver making her do all these math things etc for so long. Then I wonder if I'm doing something wrong if I'm too embarrassed to tell them the truth.

[nova147]

Thanks for the ideas/insight. I do hope some of it is just novelty. I also think we can't just keep accelerating certain subjects (esp. math), so we tackle the same concept in as many different ways as I can think of.

I think the thing is that he likes having the time with me. Which is a good thing, I know, but is also exhausting. But I know I need to get into a good routine now so that when the new baby comes I don't completely lose my mind! So I think I'll continue to plan for about 1 1/2 hours of school a day, and then have other stuff he can do independently or sit down and read with him.

And I'll still have to work on him figuring out how to entertain himself without a screen in front of him. This is a tough one for our family. DH nearly always has the TV on when he is home. Usually he is also doing something on the computer. I'm not much better, in that I spend tons of time on the computer (less with the TV, though I do have 6 or 7 shows I watch weekly when they are new episodes). I guess I'd better put that higher on my list of stuff we have to deal with, since the screen time thing is also causing other problems. Book or website suggestions, anyone?

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

I noticed as my second oldest got older that the oldest two liked to spend more time playing together without me. This was big at our house! Youngest dd often joins them too. I still need to mediate fights sometimes but they are quite content playing together. Do your dc like playing together? Does your ds have any toys/books that he likes to use by himself? I would try to find some fun toys that he likes to use, like legos or blocks. Outside playtime is a big hit here too.
Maybe instead of doing school all day just do what you had planned on doing and then have a shelf/basket with other books, worksheets, activities, experiments, etc. that he can do by himself. Not that he has to do them, but just as an option if he doesn't have anything else that he wants to do.

[Truscifi]

For the independent play time I make ds5 stay in his room. He has books, k'nex, blocks, etc in there to play with and he can come out for a drink of water, but he has to stay in there for at least an hour after lunch. He does not have anything with a screen in his room. (We only have 1 tv for everyone to share, but we have a computer for each person in the house, so I made a rule of no laptops in the bedrooms :tongue_smilie:) Making him stay in his room prompted him to come up with things to do while he's in there. We call it quiet time and I explained it as a break for him and for me after working hard in school so he knows he's not in trouble for anything.

[shinyhappypeople]

I'd tell your little pup "Go outside and play." Playing outside is just as important as academics at this age. If he doesn't think he likes it (yet) then teach him. Plant a small garden. Do you have a swingset and some playground balls? Belly swing and play superhero. Teach him foursquare and kickball. Play catch. If you can, designate a dirt area he can dig in and get dirty (esp. with a huge Tonka dump truck).

I meet so many terrific kids who don't know how to entertain themselves outside. It's really kind of sad. My suggestion is to focus on the "outdoor play" skill until he reaches "mastery," with as much enthusiasm as you and he approach academics. :) He'll thank you for it.

[nova147]

I really want to send him outside. And I do, sometimes. But we live on a busy street and haven't had the money to build a fence around our yard (much less get a playset), so I really need to be able to at least check on him every few minutes when he's out. I'm hoping we'll set a fence up soon, and then at least he could play outside, even if we don't have swings or anything. I'm pushing DH towards doing that with our Christmas money, since this spring it will be even harder for me to be out, with the new baby and all. Thanks for reminding me about this priority!