SO intense!

[Mommy22alyns]

Becca is such an intense kid and she gets so worked up over things sometimes, it just drives me nuts. How do you deal with your kids when they get like this?

Here's an example: She found her human body books (Kingfisher and DK) on the shelves to follow up on something she was wondering about the other day. So she got involved in looking through them and reading, and read about asthma. She asked if we had inhalers in case we "got" asthma. I explained that we wouldn't "get" asthma, it was like allergies and you either had it or you didn't. Then I (stupidly) responded to her questions on how a doctor would treat it by saying one way might be to give a shot. Holllly cow. :001_huh: She spent the next 45 minutes nearly in tears because she was afraid she might get asthma and have to see the doctor and maybe, just maybe have a shot.

She can also take things way too hard sometimes, like if I say something about her attitude being less than stellar, next thing I know she's almost crying because she thinks she's terrible. Sigh.

Help! Or at least nod along with me!

[melmichigan]

:grouphug: Right there with you!

[Remudamom]

She's my child. Send her back.

[zaichiki]

Becca is such an intense kid and she gets so worked up over things sometimes, it just drives me nuts. How do you deal with your kids when they get like this?!

Sometimes I yell "AAAaaaarrrrrgggghhhh," throw my hands up, and demand everyone get their bikes out 'cause we're going for a bike ride... or get in the car for a ride to the park... or, if the weather's nice "Who wants to go swimming?!"
Here's another one: "Hey, who wants to go to so-and-so's house???" (Gotta have a really good friend named so-and-so who doesn't mind last minute play dates and is usually home if you want that one to work. :) )

Ah, yes: distraction and running away are my two favorite coping mechanisms! :lol:

[Karin]

As the intense mother of three intense children, I'm right there with you. Funny how I don't automatically understand everything they get worked up about.

One thing I've learned the hard way (so I don't think you are stupid to have done this) with the one who would worry about just that sort of situation is to not offer more information than I need to in that case. This helps reduce the likelihood of having just that sort of worry and scene. Not that I always remember to do this, but most of the time I do.

Since we are Christians, I often find reassurance there for that dc (or any of them), but that doesn't usually work until they've already calmed down and are listening again. Distraction can be a helpful thing at times, but I do work on teaching, teaching, teaching, which could be because that's just the kind of person I am. I also find hugging and cuddling can work at times, depending on which dc it is and why they're being intense. Only one of mine tends to worry about that sort of thing that you mentioned. That dc is also the one who things he's terrible if he makes too many mistakes or disobeys too many times in a row, so I work with him on how much I love him, how we all make mistakes, and am teaching him strategies to help him avoid that whole line of thinking in the first place, but he's 9, not 4 or 6.

Age is also a factor, and your dc are still quite young. Not that the intensity is going to go away, but it will be redirected at various stages of childhood and teenhood (new word, I guess).

[chai]

Oh, my. Yes! I could have written your post. I try to use humor to work her out of those situations. Often times, deep down, she knows that she is going overboard. I say things that are even more outrageous that start her laughing.

[Cera]

My almost 5 year old is like that. She tends to work herself up and have a really hard time calming down. I think sometimes it is an issue of intellectual capability that is ahead of emotional maturity. I know the talk of Cholera in the Secret Garden caused issues like that here for a few weeks.

[alexfam]

My ds7 is like that. He can cry at the drop of the hat. We are really trying to get him to stop crying when there is nothing to cry about. We have explained to him that you only cry when you are hurt or really really sad (had to put the really really sad b/c ds would say well i'm sad b/c we are not doing such n such or that you are unhappy with me). AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Karin]

Oh, my. Yes! I could have written your post. I try to use humor to work her out of those situations. Often times, deep down, she knows that she is going overboard. I say things that are even more outrageous that start her laughing.


Right. Humour works many times for one of my dc, just not the one who'd get upset by the same type of thing as the example. I've found, though, that with hormones raging, humour doesn't seem to be working as well as often anymore.