Ugh...maybe miscarriage?

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

I'm bleeding and cramping across my back and my temps have dropped a full degree today. But I'm having my usual pregnancy symptoms like nausea, intense hunger pangs and a 2 hour nap. I've miscarried before at around 11 weeks, but all my symptoms disappeared weeks earlier that time. I'm 12 weeks and 3 days today.

You know, if this is a miscarriage, I think I'll be okay. I've been richly blessed with children and these things happen. But I dread telling dh and the kids. They are all so involved this time. I guess that's why I'm on here. Thanks for letting me blab on.

Barb

[Jean in Newcastle]

Praying for you. I certainly hope that it is a false alarm. You sound like you will handle things fine if it is a miscarriage but I'm sure it would be tough on you and your family nonetheless. Let us know how you are doing.

[Janna]

Oh, Barb. (((Hugs))) I am so sorry. I don't know exactly what that means, but I am wondering if you've called your Dr.? Maybe there's something they can do to stop it? I don't know, but I would be calling or paging my Dr. asap, or at least heading to the ER.

Please keep us updated. I'm so sorry you're going through this! (((HUGS)))

[Amy in Orlando]

((((Barb))))

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

Oh, Barb. (((Hugs))) I am so sorry. I don't know exactly what that means, but I am wondering if you've called your Dr.? Maybe there's something they can do to stop it? I don't know, but I would be calling or paging my Dr. asap, or at least heading to the ER.

Please keep us updated. I'm so sorry you're going through this! (((HUGS)))

No, I'm just going to do the watch and wait thing for a few days. If it is a miscarriage, there's nothing to be done and if it's not, it's just a lot of wasted time and energy in the ER. Not to mention germs :::shudder::: I'm really hoping it's just a false alarm, and if that's the case I'd rather not put everyone through the wringer over it. Thanks for the hugs, everyone. It's nice to know you guys are out there.

Nite.

Barb

[Chris in VA]

You are in my prayers tonight. Please keep us updated.

[Mom2legomaniacs]

prayers for you dear

(((barb)))

[Pencil Pusher]

Praying for you--wishing I had something to offer....

((Barb))

[Eliana]

I'm bleeding and cramping across my back and my temps have dropped a full degree today. But I'm having my usual pregnancy symptoms like nausea, intense hunger pangs and a 2 hour nap. I've miscarried before at around 11 weeks, but all my symptoms disappeared weeks earlier that time. I'm 12 weeks and 3 days today.

You know, if this is a miscarriage, I think I'll be okay. I've been richly blessed with children and these things happen. But I dread telling dh and the kids. They are all so involved this time. I guess that's why I'm on here. Thanks for letting me blab on.
Barb


Oh, sweetie!

Do you do herbal remedies at all?

'Herbal for the Childbearing Year' has a threatened miscarriage brew - I can send you the ingredients & instructions, if you would like.

raspberry tea can help ease the discomfort of the cramping, and can have a positive impact sometimes.

From what I've read, and my personal experience, I would recommend bedrest while you wait to see how things turns out.

Vitamin E can be helpful (up to 2000 IU/day)

Lobelia tincture - every two hours, round the clock (~15 drops of tincture in a water - though dosage varies depending on strength of tincture)

The homeopathic remedy Sabina matches your description of syptoms.


I have lost several babies to miscarriages, but we managed to keep the twins, thank G-d... I had less perspective than you do though, it has been years but the grief is still raw for me. ...realistic though you are, and wise to be so, do let yourself grieve, if you need to.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers - telling the kids is so hard...

Eliana

[Jennifer in MI]

Oh Barb. I'll wait and pray with you. I sure hope this has a good outcome. I admire your "wait and see" approach. When this happened to me, I was at the midwife's office asking for a sonogram ASAP. ((((hugs))))

[Basketmaker Amy]

(((Barb))) Prayers for you and your family. Please see a doctor and keep us posted.

[DIY-DY]

No, I'm just going to do the watch and wait thing for a few days. If it is a miscarriage, there's nothing to be done and if it's not, it's just a lot of wasted time and energy in the ER. Not to mention germs :::shudder::: I'm really hoping it's just a false alarm, and if that's the case I'd rather not put everyone through the wringer over it. Thanks for the hugs, everyone. It's nice to know you guys are out there.

Nite.

Barb

I hope you got some rest last night. You're in my thoughts and prayers this morning, Barb. {{hugs}}

[claire at home]

I just wanted to say I was shocked when I read your title, as I am in the exact same boat. I started bleeding Friday night and cramping lightly on Saturday. Then it seemed to stop and then it came back with a vengeance yesterday afternoon. It may have already happened. I am afraid to go to the bathroom.
I am going into the eleventh week. This is my third pg. I am like you. I feel I can handle it, but the waiting it out is so hard. It is also going to be so hard to tell the kids as they are so excited. It is the vascillation between hope and no hope that is killing me. If this is going to happen, let's get it over with already and let me deal with it.
To top it all off, my oldest's birthday is today. I feel like this is just too much to hold: celebrating the birth on one while losing another.
Anyway, just wanted to share your ARRGH!
claire

[Sophia]

Praying for Barb and Claire.

Waiting is the worst part.

[Doran]

...Yuck. That's just crummy, and I'm really sorry you're in this situation. That anxious feeling of not knowing is the worst.

I'm honored to hold you in my heart today. Whatever happens, know that you can find support here in whatever way you'd like to have it.


{{{Barb}}}

Doran

[PariSarah]

Take care of yourself. I'm hoping for the best for you!

[Doran]

...It is the vascillation between hope and no hope that is killing me. If this is going to happen, let's get it over with already and let me deal with it.
To top it all off, my oldest's birthday is today. I feel like this is just too much to hold: celebrating the birth on one while losing another.
Anyway, just wanted to share your ARRGH!
claire

Hugs to you, dear. Wrap your heart around that oldest child as you celebrate all the good there. That may help you get through the waiting you're forced into now. I'll be thinking of you.

Doran

[DIY-DY]

...I feel I can handle it, but the waiting it out is so hard. It is also going to be so hard to tell the kids as they are so excited. It is the vascillation between hope and no hope that is killing me. If this is going to happen, let's get it over with already and let me deal with it.
To top it all off, my oldest's birthday is today. I feel like this is just too much to hold: celebrating the birth on one while losing another.
Anyway, just wanted to share your ARRGH!
claire

I'll echo Doran's thoughts. Hug that sweet birthday child once for me, too. I'm wishing you some peace and tons of love today.

[Denise in IN]

Barb and Claire - hugs and prayers for both of you. God holds you and your precious little ones in His hands.

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

Oh Claire, I'm so sorry...the timing for you is really rotten. It *is* weird, going on with the day like nothing is happening, but wondering. My bleeding stopped last night after I posted, but I still have the dull ache across my back, so I seem to be a few days behind you. Please do let us know when you have closure one way or another.

To everyone, thank you for messages. I'm not brave to wait it out, I'm a coward. I'd rather put off knowing as long as possible and I'd just rather keep things private until it's no longer possible, kwim? I will post when I know something for sure.

Barb

I just wanted to say I was shocked when I read your title, as I am in the exact same boat. I started bleeding Friday night and cramping lightly on Saturday. Then it seemed to stop and then it came back with a vengeance yesterday afternoon. It may have already happened. I am afraid to go to the bathroom.
I am going into the eleventh week. This is my third pg. I am like you. I feel I can handle it, but the waiting it out is so hard. It is also going to be so hard to tell the kids as they are so excited. It is the vascillation between hope and no hope that is killing me. If this is going to happen, let's get it over with already and let me deal with it.
To top it all off, my oldest's birthday is today. I feel like this is just too much to hold: celebrating the birth on one while losing another.
Anyway, just wanted to share your ARRGH!
claire

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

Oh, sweetie!

Do you do herbal remedies at all?


Eliana, I will PM you...thank you

Barb

[Mamagistra]

Thinking of you and praying for you both, (((Barb and Claire))).

[Sparkle]

(((Barb))) and (((Claire))), praying for both of you, and hoping for a good outcome.

[magistramom]

((((hugs and prayers))))

Could be a tear in the placenta. Get it checked out ASAP.

[HomeOnTheRanch]

{{{Barb}}} and {{{Claire}}}

I'm praying for both of you.

[Colleen]

You've been on my mind all day, (((Barb)))...

[Colleen]

nt

[Eliana]

I just wanted to say I was shocked when I read your title, as I am in the exact same boat. I started bleeding Friday night and cramping lightly on Saturday. Then it seemed to stop and then it came back with a vengeance yesterday afternoon. It may have already happened. I am afraid to go to the bathroom.
I am going into the eleventh week. This is my third pg. I am like you. I feel I can handle it, but the waiting it out is so hard. It is also going to be so hard to tell the kids as they are so excited. It is the vascillation between hope and no hope that is killing me. If this is going to happen, let's get it over with already and let me deal with it.
To top it all off, my oldest's birthday is today. I feel like this is just too much to hold: celebrating the birth on one while losing another.
Anyway, just wanted to share your ARRGH!
claire

Uncertainty is one of the hardest challenges for me too. Hoping takes so much energy, doesn't it? ..and we can't move on to grieving while there is still hope, but when loss seems so likely, there is so much grief pressing against our hearts.

Take care of yourself, and hold tight to your little ones. Holding on to the blessings I have has helped me process the grief and fear of threatened miscarriage.

[BizyPenguin]

If either of you is reading this post and still are not sure if you've miscarried, let me offer a glimmer of hope. When I was 13 weeks pregnant with my now 2 year old dd, I experienced cramping that intensified over a few days and then some heavy bleeding and clotting one evening around dinner time. I thought for sure I had miscarried, but to my astonishment, the ER doctor found a wiggly little baby in utero. The day before the heavy bleeding I found out that I had a degenerating fibroid tumor right outside of my uterus, which was causing all of the pain. (I could not even stand up the pain was so bad.) My pregnancy was labeled a "threatened miscarriage" and I was put on modified bed rest for about a week. I was told that the bleeding was probably a result of the degenerating fibroid and since it was not progressive (I was no longer bleeding in the ER) and the baby was still alive and well, they were somewhat hopeful. I prayed and rested and the pain subsided. I had to have some follow up ultra sounds, but all was eventually well. I know this was *my* experience, but I just wanted to offer a glimmer of hope. I also experienced two early miscarriages prior to my dd's birth, so I know how you're feeling. Hugs and prayers to you both.

[ArwenA]

(((((Claire))))) (((((Barb))))) hugs and prayers to both of you. Please keep us updated.

[Amy loves Bud]

Barb and Claire, I was just checking in to see how you both are.

I'm praying for the two of you.

[percytruffle]

(((Barb and Claire))). Prayers for you.

[Marie in Oh]

Hoping the best for both of you.

[claire at home]

Thanks for all of your hugs and prayers.
I'm off to the OB at 11:00. This is so hard for me. I had both of my other dc at home with a midwife who is still encouraging me to wait it out. But there has been no change and its been five days. No real increase in bleeding, but no decrease either. There are definitely cramps and clots, but not what I would think would be the full passing of the baby. (oh, I hate writing that).
So maybe I am giving in, but I just feel that all is not well and I'm going in for an ultrasound.
Will keep you posted. Barb, how are you today?
claire

[Robin in Tx]

Oh, Barb... I am so sorry to hear this! I hope and pray everything is okay. (((Barb)))

[Tammyla]

(((Barb & Claire)))

[Melinda in VT]

Thanks for all of your hugs and prayers.
I'm off to the OB at 11:00. This is so hard for me. I had both of my other dc at home with a midwife who is still encouraging me to wait it out. But there has been no change and its been five days. No real increase in bleeding, but no decrease either. There are definitely cramps and clots, but not what I would think would be the full passing of the baby. (oh, I hate writing that).
So maybe I am giving in, but I just feel that all is not well and I'm going in for an ultrasound.
Will keep you posted. Barb, how are you today?
claire

In my case, I went in to the OB early in the process, and they were able to confirm that it was a blighted ovum. (An egg had fertilized and implanted, but never developed into a fetus.) It took about 10 days, if I remember right, for all of the bleeding to stop.

{{Claire}}

[Nicole not in CA]

(((Barb))) and (((Claire))), I am praying for both of you. I'm sorry that you are experiencing this right now. The uncertainty and waiting must be so difficult.

[Doran]

... I just feel that all is not well and I'm going in for an ultrasound. Will keep you posted. Barb, how are you today?

I'm hoping you were given some real information today, and if the news was not good, I'm so sorry. These situations are so hard.

Thinking of you, Claire -- and of Barb.

Doran

[TCoppock]

Barb- I am glad to hear that the bleeding has stopped for you. I will pray that the rest of your pregnancy is uneventful.

Claire- I am praying that the OB is able to provide you with some kind of closure. I know the horrible feeling of not knowing one way or another. I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

[Pencil Pusher]

Just checking on you. Hoping your appt today was good news.

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

Thanks for all of your hugs and prayers.
I'm off to the OB at 11:00. This is so hard for me. I had both of my other dc at home with a midwife who is still encouraging me to wait it out. But there has been no change and its been five days. No real increase in bleeding, but no decrease either. There are definitely cramps and clots, but not what I would think would be the full passing of the baby. (oh, I hate writing that).
So maybe I am giving in, but I just feel that all is not well and I'm going in for an ultrasound.
Will keep you posted. Barb, how are you today?
claire

Claire, I was just checking in to see whether you had any news. I hate to hear it isn't good. Please post or PM me when you feel up to it.

I'm feeling cautiously hopeful. I had a lot of cramping today but no more bleeding. I had an experience like this one about 10 years ago in the 12th week...bleeding, then nothing for 5-6 days, then full out bleeding for 2-3 days. It was obvious when I lost the baby. Then again, my temps haven't really dropped I hope means my progesterone is still high. My husband left a message with the head of radiology at his hospital (he's the CFO, not a doc) to see if he'll order an ultrasound for me and bypass the OB's and ED. I'll share all this with my midwife once I have one, but I'm still in the process of interviewing and choosing. I'll post if there are any developments.

Barb

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

I was told that the bleeding was probably a result of the degenerating fibroid and since it was not progressive (I was no longer bleeding in the ER) and the baby was still alive and well, they were somewhat hopeful.

Stacy, this does make me feel hopeful as I've been told in the past that I have fibroids. My grandma, mom and maternal aunt all had hysterectomies in their early 40's due to fibroids. I will be certain to mention this once I go for my first full appointment. Thank you for mentioning it.

Barb

[LadyAberlin]

When I've had bleeding in my pregnancies like that they have put me on progesterone and it stopped the bleeding. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage. I bled with the next 2 pregnancies, but like I said the progesterone stopped the bleeding. I would go in and see if they would prescribe some for you.

[claire at home]

Thanks for all of your inquiries. Unfortunately the news is sad. No heartbeat. Miscarriage inevitable.
The CNM was kind and compassionate and I was very surprised that she did not advise a DNC. She said it is better to pass naturally. I admit I have been brainwashed by the homebirth community that the majority of obs/cnms are surgery pushing control freaks. It was good for me to see that this is not always the case. I'm glad I went and I'm glad I know.
So I am still waiting for the passing. I never dreamed it would take this long. You know, if life would just get in line with my schedule we would all be fine :rolleyes:
It was hardest to tell the kids. We all had a good cry in the elevator on the way to the car.
My mom is flying up and school is canceled for the rest of the week. The kids are thrilled about that. And you know what? The sun is out today. And that is a very good thing. He gives and He takes away.
I'm going back to bed with my heating pad.
claire

[Chris in VA]

Saying prayers over you and your baby. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Darcy in FL]

My heart goes out to you today and your family. I'm praying for you all!

[crazycoffeechic]

praying here

[WTMindy]

Thanks for all of your inquiries. Unfortunately the news is sad. No heartbeat. Miscarriage inevitable.
The CNM was kind and compassionate and I was very surprised that she did not advise a DNC. She said it is better to pass naturally. I admit I have been brainwashed by the homebirth community that the majority of obs/cnms are surgery pushing control freaks. It was good for me to see that this is not always the case. I'm glad I went and I'm glad I know.
So I am still waiting for the passing. I never dreamed it would take this long. You know, if life would just get in line with my schedule we would all be fine :rolleyes:
It was hardest to tell the kids. We all had a good cry in the elevator on the way to the car.
My mom is flying up and school is canceled for the rest of the week. The kids are thrilled about that. And you know what? The sun is out today. And that is a very good thing. He gives and He takes away.
I'm going back to bed with my heating pad.
claire

I'm praying for you today!! http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/innocent/innocent0001.gif (http://www.ganja.co.uk)

[Nicole not in CA]

(((Claire))) I am so sorry for your loss. I am praying for you and your family.

[Karenciavo]

(((Claire))) shedding tears with you.

[percytruffle]

(((Claire)))I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying for comfort and peace for you and your family.

[Sue G in PA]

Miscarriage is so hard..at any stage in a pregnancy. I'm praying for you and your family.

[Janna]

Oh, Claire. I am so sorry. I am crying for you and your family too. You will be in my thoughts and prayers all day. Bless your heart. (((Hugs)))

[Pencil Pusher]

So sorry, Claire.

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Oh Claire,

I am truly sorry, dear. You will be in my prayers.

[Mary H]

I know what your going through. I also had a miscariage at 11 weeks. Twice. I remember a lady telling me that Jesus is watching over your child in heaven. I have 2 daughters up there and 1 son. I look forward to the day that I can go to heaven and see them. Prayers for you durring this time. I am crying with you too!!

God Bless!!

Mary H

[momtolgd]

(((Claire))) you are in my prayers.

[PariSarah]

nt

[Mamagistra]

Oh, (((Claire)))...I am so sorry to hear this. Please rest, both physically and in the comfort of all who are praying for and mourning with you.

[LadyAberlin]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. When I had a miscarriage it helped me to go ahead and name the baby. It helped bring some closure for me. We named ours Chava meaning life.

[Mrs. H.]

I've been there. It's hard. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

[Sophia]

((Claire))

God's Peace,
Sophia

[Meliss]

I'm very sorry Claire. I pray for God's comfort for you. I was blessed to read your expression of trust in God during this difficult time.

[BizyPenguin]

So sorry about your loss.

[BizyPenguin]

Stacy, this does make me feel hopeful as I've been told in the past that I have fibroids. My grandma, mom and maternal aunt all had hysterectomies in their early 40's due to fibroids. I will be certain to mention this once I go for my first full appointment. Thank you for mentioning it.

Barb

Please let us know. I will continue to pray. All the best!

[Eliana]

After my first miscarriage, a friend shared with me a beautiful letter a rabbi wrote to a woman grieving a miscarriage. It was almost two pages long, and would require a couple more pages of notes to unpack all the references, but it transformed my grieving.

He said that the word miscarriage isn't right - it implies that G-d's plan hasn't happened as intended.

He said that no pregnancy, however brief, is in vain.

...that there are some souls who [delete complex theological discussion] only need to be in this world for a short period of time, and that it is a privilege to carry these precious souls - the ultimate maternal giving, because we get all of the grief and none of the payback for the love and care we feel for these little ones. We don't get the joy of watching them grow, of holding them, feeling their kisses, hearing their voice, watching them mature and make us so proud.

You carried this baby in your body and in your heart, you gave its soul a home for its short time here. Your love, your pain, serves a purpose, and [delete more complex theology] brings the redemption one step closer.

It didn't, it doesn't lessen the grief, not even by a hairsbreadth, but it helped me to feel what I already knew intellectually, that my loss wasn't meaningless, that my little ones' brief lives weren't in vain.

You and your family are in my thoughts. May G-d bring you comfort among the mourners of Zion and Yerushalayim.

Take care of yourself, sweetie. Crampbark tea might help (though it tastes dreadful after awhile!), Motherwort tincture gave me *incredible* relief, and raspberry leaf tea was very soothing. Sometimes a tea made with nettle and raspberry tea bags can ease the cramping pain. (It helps with menstrual pain as well.)
Once it has happened, Shepherd's Purse (either in tincture form or as a tea) can help with the bleeding.

If it doesn't happen by itself, and you have a skilled midwife with experience in herbal medicine available, there are herbs which can help encourage things to start - not force it, but give it a little nudge. (I wouldn't want to give out specifics unless I could be there with you and gauge dosages, etc on how you responded.)

Nurture yourself for a while, dear. Miscarriage is so draining, both physically and emotionally... I'm so glad your mother is coming to nurture you and the kids.

(((Clarire)))

[Karen sn]

Barb - how are you? I see no update.

[Quiver0f10]

Claire, I am so sorry and am praying for you. :grouphug:

Barb, I am praying for you, also.

[claire at home]

I just want to thank all of you who have written words of encouragement and prayers. It is overwhelming, yet really nice to receive messages and well wishes from total strangers (yet kindred hearts), especially to a shy girl like me!
I feel pretty good this morning, considering. Good, that is, emotionally and in my spirit. Still pretty yucky physically. I read last night that this can in certain cases take as long as three weeks to fully pass. That was discouraging. My prayer is that God will have mercy and let it pass quickly. I feel like I can't move on to fully letting go until it is gone from my body. And maybe you wouldn't mind praying this with me?
Thank you,

Claire

[Karenciavo]

Of course ((Claire)).

[Sophia]

Continuing to pray for you Claire.

[Valerie(TX)]

I'm so sorry!

{{Claire}}

Valerie

[Darcy in FL]

Continuing to pray for you, Claire!

[Jenny in Atl]

Thinking of you. :grouphug:

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Prayers. I am so sorry dear.

[Friederike in Persia]

:grouphug:

[WTMindy]

http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/innocent/innocent0001.gif (http://www.ganja.co.uk)

[Leah]

nt

[JudoMom]

(((Claire)))

[Robin in Tx]

((Claire)) My thoughts are with you.

Robin

[Marie in Oh]

I have been reading the updates. I am so sorry.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Of course. I hope that you feel better physically very soon.

[Old Dominion Heather]

Praying for you. nt

[Denise in IN]

I just want to thank all of you who have written words of encouragement and prayers. It is overwhelming, yet really nice to receive messages and well wishes from total strangers (yet kindred hearts), especially to a shy girl like me!
I feel pretty good this morning, considering. Good, that is, emotionally and in my spirit. Still pretty yucky physically. I read last night that this can in certain cases take as long as three weeks to fully pass. That was discouraging. My prayer is that God will have mercy and let it pass quickly. I feel like I can't move on to fully letting go until it is gone from my body. And maybe you wouldn't mind praying this with me?
Thank you,

Claire


I will certainly pray this with you. I'm also praying for healing and peace. Be kind to yourself, take the time you need to grieve as well as heal physically.

[ereks mom]

Just wanted to offer some encouragement:
With my first pregnancy, I spotted daily for 3 weeks; then it just stopped, and the rest of my pregnancy was uneventful. (Well, I delivered 5-6 weeks early -- a small but healthy baby.) This was almost 18 years ago & you can see from my avatar picture that ER is just fine. :)